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I had my son when I was sixteen and the following week turned seventeen. I have been living at home since the birth of my son. I have not worked since the birth of my son do to parents. My son is a toddler now and I am still at home, not working, can`t get on welfare because my family makes too much money and scared to go into a shelter or something just to jumostart me because I`ve heard stories about them. Someone who is not judgemental, but someone who is understanding please respond, I am open to advice big or small. ↓
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| Name: JULIA | Date: Sep 15th, 2005 6:19 AM |
| I HAD MY SON WHEN I WAS 18 AND STILL LIVING AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY.IT WAS HARD.I DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE ON MY OWN.I DECIDED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION AND GO TO COLLEGE.NOW I HAVE A CAREER.IF I DID NOT LIVE WITH MY PARENTS I COULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO GO TO COLLEGE.TRY USING THE SITUATION TO HELP YOU FURTHER YOUR EDUCATION.THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE OUT AND BUY A HOUSE.YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOW YOU ARE GOING TO SUPPORT YOUR SON.GOOD LUCK. ↑ |
| Name: Isabel | Date: Sep 23rd, 2005 3:55 PM |
| Well im 18 got pregnant when i was 15 and i had my son when i was 16 i've been raising him on my own been working two jobs and going to school he goes to daycare and well it's been hard for me but he is my inspiration his father just recently started helping me and well i find it really hard but not impossible it's ok to be grateful wih your parents but you need to be independent there not always going to be with you an dthey need to understand that so you need to speak with your parents and leet them know you want to do for your kid now to let you be a mother and not depend on them so much.... ↑ |
| Name: nageena | Date: Oct 6th, 2005 6:15 PM |
i had my daughter when i was 21 years and i thought that was young for me coz i wasn't ready to have a kid. shes 3 years old now and everyday i thank god that i didn't listen to her dad and keep the abortion i had booked. it was scary and to be honest it still is but that's the best part of being a parent, everydays new and different. i haven't worked since i had my daughter but i am on welfare and struggle being on that. i had the same problem, that my parents earned too much money so i had to ask them to write me an eviction letter in order for me to get a council flat which i've had now fopr three years and it really does feel like home now.. but only just.
Darling girl, life will always throw unexpected changes in your direction but stay strong, your baby will always love you more than any one in this entire world and now i've come out of my depression i see how much time i lost with my child. donn't make the same mistakes i did. Be happy at home, understand that when you do stand on your own to feet, alone.. with a baby, it's not easy. take advantage of the situation you are in. if you work while your still living with your parents it will give you the opportunity to save some money and build a life for you and your child because god knows it's hard being a single mum as it is let alone all the other problems we put up with...e.g money problems.
Give it time sweetie, thing's always have a way of working out sometimes they just need a little push. if you can manage to find reasonable child care and work you'll be able to save money for you and your child to give you both a good start and also if your a single mother and working you should be entitled to help with child care costs. be patient, thing's happen for a reason and everything always turns out right in the end.
take care
Nageena ↑ |
| Name: Joycelyn | Date: Nov 8th, 2005 5:00 PM |
| I am pregnant right now and preparing for single motherhood. I am26 years old. I am doing all I can to use all resources open to me because my family and the father of the baby aren't helping me at all. I wanted to know how old you are now so I can pass along some good resources that may be available to you. ↑ |
| Name: Elsie | Date: Nov 9th, 2005 4:45 AM |
| I had my daughter at 17 years old. She is now 3 months and i too live with my boyfriend at my mothers home. I can totally relate to your situation because i am home all day with my baby and sometimes it gets frustrated. I suggest staying where you are for the time being just until you can get a job and support your son. Be thankful that you have family who cares enough about you and helps you in raising your son but also try and gain some independence. ↑ |
| Name: linzi | Date: Nov 14th, 2005 9:51 PM |
| i had my daughter when i was 16 i stayed with my mum until i had my daughter but she was driving me mad so i thought i knew better than everyone and moved into a sheltered house against my familys wishes my mum came and seen me a week later i was a mess she took me back home and we looked at flats to rent i was only entiteled to a one bed studio flat but it was my own space and i was not far from my family now four years on i am going to college now i have saved a bit of money its not been easy but who said it would be! ↑ |
| Name: leanne | Date: Dec 24th, 2005 1:57 PM |
| centrelink shouldm give u a singleparent pension no matter what ur parents earn. You should also be able to get a social worker who can help you. talk to your child health nurse.l was once in that situation ↑ |
| Name: sally | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 10:16 PM |
| Im not sure where u r from but in australia centerlink pays for a bond on a flat and also gives you an allowance and sollects maintenance 4 u. I was 19 when I had my son and lived with my mum until he was 2 it was the worst 2 years of my life. I was scared at first to be out there on my own but now hes 11 and it was the best decision i ever made.when he started school i got a partime job and were not rich but were both happy! ↑ |
| Name: Amanda | Date: Jan 9th, 2006 8:34 AM |
| I am 22 and 6 months pregnant living at home in the tiniest 2 bedroom with my mother. After living on my own while I was trying to get through college the last thing I wanted to do was move back home. I want so bad to be able to be independent and live on my own when the baby comes but I know that the opportunity my mother has extended to me living at home puts me to a greater advantage than I realize to be able to accomplish things that will ultimately prepare a better future for my child and myself. That is somthing that I would not be able to do alone. ↑ |
| Name: Jena | Date: Jan 16th, 2006 7:01 AM |
| Im right there with you. I am 21 and i just had my son in december. We live with my parents and I cannont get welfare because of fines that i cannot pay, and because his father who has not been in the pictue since the strip turned pink cannot be found. i cant imagine it will be any easier for me to find a job but I have to. I am on probation for being stupid and immature and now i cannot support my son. If you ever need somone to talk to email at [email protected]. Just put who you are so I know. Good luck. Jena ↑ |
| Name: Andrea | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 1:08 AM |
Hi Elizabeth.
I gave birth to my daughter when I was eighteen, going on nineteen. She is now nine months old.
The best advice I can give you is to stay with your parents, and continue your education. Welfare wouldn't be enough to survive anyway, especially if you tried to move out on your own. And once you are out on your own, you will have to say good-bye to all the support and comfort that your parents provide, and these are things that you will need in order to go back to school. If you wish to give yourself and your child a better future, you'll have to work hard, but it will be worth it. You might not need to go to high school, search for some career specific training. There are tons of programs to help you. Ask around, and you'll find tons of resources for young parents. (you can ask about childcare programs, programs to get you into training or some other schooling).
I was already out on my own and working at some low wage tech support job when I got pregnant, and since then, I realized that the best thing I could have done after high school would have been to continue with school, rather than jumping head-first into the working world. I'm not only giving you this advice, I'm actually going back to school in September. I'm going to be a mom, employed and going to school. Take it one step at a time, and it can be done.
Good luck, I know you can do it! ↑ |
| Name: Tapinga | Date: Feb 3rd, 2006 1:45 AM |
| Its okey, teenmom here talking, I know how hard it is, first get a s.s. worker, don't worry about them, anyways tell them you want to move out, tell the everything, they well help you with getting a job, daycare, daycare help, car, and a home, and they'll help pay for it to. don't be scared. and if it doesn't work out you can always go home ↑ |
| Name: crissy | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 9:49 PM |
| You are more than capable of providing for you and your child. IF you are concerned about having a job outside of the home and affording child care or what not. Get a job working at a child care center. Most provide free service for their employee's. Once you are out of the home, you'll qualify for assistance and with an income that child care provides, you should receive more than enough in food stamps. Depending on where you live, there is probably government assited apartments as well. Most have a waiting list so it's best to look into this before you are completely ready instead of dying to get out on your own and then being told that you have to wait another year. (wink) ↑ |
| Name: vix | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 1:45 PM |
| I had my 1st child when i was 16 then had another when i was17.My mother &father help the best they can but i have a sister to its sometimes too much for me i need to talk to people who no what i mean i need space they dont understand me hopefuly u will if you in the same situtation ↑ |
| Name: Jamie | Date: Apr 18th, 2006 12:53 PM |
Elizabeth,
I just read your question. I gave birth to my daughter Alexia when I was 17 years old. I am 20 now and am currently carrying my second child. When I found out about my first pregnancy I moved out of the house IMMEDIATELY... Although you can't change the past, it may have been better to establish your independence from the get-go as it is easier than trying to gain it later... since that is no longer an option for you, here is what I am going to suggest. First you need to interview and hire a babysitter. It is always best to get the sitter BEFORE you get a job so that you know you won't have any difficulty with it. Then once you have hired a babysitter, get the best job that you are qualified for. I would suggest working for at least 6 months as moving is expensive, and then begin searching for a place. If you are a single mom, then you may not be able to afford to move. If that is the case, then put an ad in your local newspaper and ask your friends until you find a roomate to share half the expenses. Once you have found your roomate, then you need to look for an apartment and move out on your own. You are never actually a parent if you still live at home. There is so much more that goes into parenting than just feeding and diaparing the baby. You can't be the mother and the daughter at the same time and it's definately time to be the mother. If you don't stabalize yourself now, then your children will grow to see their grandparents as in charge, and you may never regain the reigns later in life. As far as shelters go, they are not scary. I was in one for a week when my daughter's father left us. My advice to you though; stay away from the shelters and leave it to people who need them. What you need to do is to get up, get a sitter, get a job, and MOVE OUT! I am a single mother with 2 kids. I get no child support because the father killed himself. If I can manage to take care of my children on my own than you can too! If you get stuck in the role of daughter you will miss out on all the rich rewards of being mom! ↑ |
| Name: charles | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 2:57 PM |
| Hello Elizabeth: I was in google search engine and ran by your posting by accident and thought, the advise I can give !! To tell you about me ; I'm an ex- shelter dweller living in st. paul minn. Thanks to Jesus, it;s sort of "rags to riches" story. There is a very negative side to shelters even the best, which is St. paul Minn. Lot's of loser, and every imaginable "sink hole." But there are three doors that will be open to you each day if you focus. Door 1. social workers , door 2. food clothing, bus passes ect. Door 3. Health care , all excellent. I don't know of any other shelter, but I know, From general opinion , this is the best. Tommorrow I begin my look for a car, a Lexus. From under a bridge to a Lexus. Thanks to God and those three doors. If you want moer specific knowledge, Ph. numbers , please respond with any questions. My objective, Just want to help. ↑ |
| Name: charles again | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 2:59 PM |
| Name: Karen | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 12:01 PM |
| Im 19 and just had a baby boy, I live with my parents they treat me like a child, they give me a curfew and they still punish me by spanking me, they tell m how to raise my son, yesterday I got spanked when I desobeyed my mother and had a date and stayed out past my curfew, I can not afford to move and the baby's father wont help, I don't like haveing a sore bottom ↑ |
| Name: Celine | Date: Oct 30th, 2007 1:50 PM |
| I'm not from this country ( I'm from Holland ) but i Had my son when I was 18 ( got pregnant at 17) I finished college recently and in about 1 month I'm going to live with my boyfriend(and our son) at his place.. GoodLuck the rest of all the mommies xx ↑ |
| Name: santa_letters | Date: Nov 2nd, 2007 1:07 PM |
Wow that has to be hard! If your parents make it look like they are making you pay rent might help?
want a clever link to brighten your child's christmas?
http://www.santashotline.com ↑ |
| Name: lupita | Date: Nov 22nd, 2007 2:52 AM |
| Name: tinkerbell_2283 | Date: Nov 22nd, 2007 5:02 AM |
| I'm fun, Happy, and Loving ↑ |
| Name: samantha | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 11:56 PM |
| im 19 and just had my lil boy 7 weeks ago. im still livin at home andi hate it my mum keeps tellin were im going wrong and im not alowed for to long. im losing touch with my friend becauseof it n ifi do go out my sister always comes with me. the only time i feel like a mum is wen im on my own with my son but that is not very offten. i dont want to say anything to the in case i hurt their feelins i just dont know wat to do. ↑ |
| Name: Ronda | Date: Mar 21st, 2008 9:56 PM |
| I had my son when I was 14. I know it can be hard when your young and still living with your parents. I lived with my dad after I had my son and i couldn't wait to get out on my own. I jumped on the first chance I got. I wish that I wouldn't have. I wound up dropping out of school and getting my heart broken. I am now 17 and pregnant again, but I live on my own. I have since I was 15. Let me tell you, its sooooo hard. I think you should get a job, get a babysitter, and start savin some money. Be prepared before you move out. take advantage of the help your getting from your parents. But make sure they know that you are an adult now and you want to take responsibility for yours and your sons life. If they dont except what your sayin there are tons of programs just for that type of stuff. talk to a social worker and maybe they can help. srry i dont have much advice. I just want you to know that your not the only one. Just hang in there and stay strong. It will all work out in the long run. I promise. ↑ |
| Name: mimi | Date: May 24th, 2008 2:42 PM |
| im 17 and 5months pregnant i need help i have no job no money i need to have money when te baby comes i still live with my mom but i need my own place can someone help me ↑ |
| Name: mimi | Date: May 24th, 2008 2:44 PM |
| im trying so hard and i knew it be hard but not this hard im so stressed i cry every day i dont know what to do can anyone help ↑ |
| Name: singlechristina | Date: May 26th, 2008 3:34 AM |
| thanks everyone here ! You'v changed my life a lot. I think I should share some good things with you all . I just found a very interesting dating site called www.singleparentloving.com ***which you can do a lot of thing there. Such as instant chat , blog, and searching the one you like in you area etc. It's really interesting. I think you would like it ! ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: May 31st, 2008 1:44 AM |
| My son is 17 months old and I've been living back home with my parents since I was 3 months pregnant with him,and now I am 6 months pregnant with my new son,so I know exactly what you're going through! ↑ |
| Name: Jessikah | Date: Jun 10th, 2008 8:23 PM |
| i'm 15 and not long just had a gawjus baby girl.. she is 3 months old. and i'm finding it really hard my friends and family support me when they can but i feel that she needs her dad around. he left us when she was onli one month old, he's now 17 and no body knows where he has gone.. i'm still in school which means i dont get to spend alot off time with louise marie but every mintue i spend with her i love it. i just wish i could do more for her ↑ |
| Name: juliana | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 4:01 PM |
my advise would be to find a baby sitter (some one you can trust ) and get a full time job and once you start makin money save it and get an appartment of your own. it may be hard leavin your son every day and not being there but in the end you will feel good and proud of your decision. You will have your own place to live and it will feel good to get to have more responsibilities that tie together the good life of parenting and growing up. It will be hard but you will make it through the rough and bumpy road of independence.
**Good luck and God bless you ↑ |
| Name: ashley | Date: Jul 28th, 2008 3:35 AM |
| i had my daughter eberdeen this year im 17 but i will be 18 in 8 days she wasnt planed but i wouldnt change a thing she has givin me a better life i used to go out all the time and hardley ever be home but simce i had her me and my partner wouldt rather just have the days and nights at home watchin her grow and change itsgeat ↑ |
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