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Name: Jennny
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My son was born with disabilities and I'm only 20.My son is now 5 and he just makes me sooo depressed and sometimes I just feel like giving him away and I know it's evil to say that but he just drives me crazy.Please tell me what to do!!
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Name: Merrideth | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 9:10 PM
What kind of dissabilities does your son have??? I know the feeling my daughter (31/2) has multiple dissabilities and I tend to get really depressed about every 6 months or so. I don't quite know why but I do I actually just came out of a depressed state a couple of days ago when I realized my typical developing 1 year old has already passed my 31/2 year old in every area of development. I never thought that it would affect me so badly. Please respond to me I could use a friend to talk to. I have left a few messages in this forum but no one has responded to me. 

Name: Jenny | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 9:17 PM
My son has high hyporactivisim.He goes crazy and makes me cry all the time.Sometimes I feel like killing myself.Please help? 

Name: Merrideth | Date: Mar 25th, 2006 4:40 PM
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time in your life. Just remember that God only gives us what we can handle. I used to not believe that but when my little girl was born she weighed exactly 1lb. She was so sick and every day we thought , is this the day that she's gonna die? She was so sick, so so sick. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. We lived that life for a straight 6 months day in and day out. But everyday somehow I managed to keep going. I asked God for the strength I needed each day. And He gave it to me. He's still giving it to me. She is alot of work. Everything seems to be centered around her. But I believe that God only gives special people, special kids. Imagine if your son was born into a family where they could have cared less about him or his problems and they just left him alone all the time. How sad. The fact that you wrote here tells me that you are such a special person I can see why God chose you for his mom. Don't be afraid to ask for help. As much help as otyu need. I know that a lot of people think that God is like this big meanie, but He loves you and your little guy so much. He is the one that's gonna get you through this time. Do you have any kind of support group you can attend with other moms? Do you ever allow yourself to take time away from him just to rejuvinate? I know it helps just to talk to other people about our problems. It's nice to have other people thinking about you and your daily struggles. And having them be there when you just need to vent. Maybe you can look into getting some kind of nursing or therapy assistence in the evenings sometimes to give you a break. Even though you may not believe it, that little guy needs you so much and he does love you. Try to take one day at a time. You can do it. Whenever you feel like you are going to lose it and do something stupid remember that You Can Do This! 

Name: Jenny | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 1:21 PM
I've talked to my son's school about it and they have put him in a special school with children the same as him.I really hope he will improve. 

Name: Merrideth | Date: Mar 27th, 2006 12:39 PM
Oh good I hope it works out for him. You hang in there.... 

Name: sheila | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 12:32 AM
hi jenny , i know how you must feel. my daughter is 10 and her diagnosis has been changed like three times(now it's autisum), and at times i also thought about giving her away to someone else. i just felt like it was too much for me to handle. and i still feel like "why me". it does help to talk to other's who are going through the samething. im so sorry you are feeling this way, we all have at one time or another. you are not alone! try getting into a support group. and as someone else stated see if you could get some respice care for your son so that you can get a break. do you have family or friends who could help you out? 


Name: Lynn | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 3:27 PM
HI Jenny,
Hang in there sweetie. Have you sought medical treatment for him? You are making a great step in reaching out to others. Your local public school, health department or family physician should be able to direct you to support groups for you. Please remain strong. You are not alone, you just may have to take some additional steps to find others in your situation. If his hyperactivity is severe, he may need medication to balance his brain chemicals. It's no different than diseases that need medical treatment . If he is currently on medication, it may not be the right kind, and/or dosage. Please keep searching for answers. 

Name: lisa | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 2:25 PM
Jenny I can totally relate to what you are going through. My six yr old daughter has multiple problems including Autism. There are days that I just want to give up and just run away from my life. Then there are moments that my daughter will come to me and ask for a hug and tell me she loves me so sweetly. Then I realize everything is going to be okay. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments. In fact, I had one this morning. You know, one of those days where nothing is right and you feel God doesn't care and you feel so alone. But then I got on our chat room and just knowing that I am not alone brings me comfort. It reminds me that I am human and not perfect . I need to remember to slow down and take one day at a time. The thoughts you have are far from evil. It's hard feeling alone and depressed. It is hard enough to raise a "normal" child let alone one with difficulties. I think Merrideth hit it one the head when she said that God gives special people special dhildren. She's right. Even when we don't feel good enough and no where near special , we stil are. Keep your chin up Jenny, everything will be okay. Good Luck to you and your family. 

Name: Jenny | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 4:05 PM
I respect what you think bridget.But,you don't know how it feels to cry every night of stress.I can't work,I can't rest,I can't go to bed till 3 in the morning every day because he wakes up and starts going crazy.I had to take him to that school.He even likes it.He says that he likes it because the boys in his class are crazy like him. 

Name: darlene | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 1:28 PM
Hi. If you ask me you need one day of relaxing at the spa. Send him to grandmas and when you tell him to settle down do it calm if he chooses not to listen get louder. But trust me you are young and this is a stage hes a 5 year old he was bounde to have it. But don't give him away because when your old there will be nobody to take care of you so. fight through this storm and keep your mind on what needs to be done to keep this family going. Good Luck!! 

Name: Eileen | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 6:32 AM
Been there. My son is now 20. You CAN do this. I felt the same way once. I can recommend a very good book. It's new.
Your child is not crazy. Trust me. At least I don't think so. 

Name: Traci | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 11:14 PM
Jenny,
I told my mother when when my son was 10 months old that I was afraid that he was going to end up on a tower somewhere with a rifle. The DR. told me to expect to put him on Ritialn (SP?) We found out later that he has Celiac. He was not gaining much weight and had a rash. I did some research on the internet and then took him to his DR. After some tests we found out he does have Celiac and DH. He is doing Much Much better at almost 6. But whenever he has been exposed to gluten he starts to bounce off the walls, wakes up though out the night and can frankly, get mean. Both of us are learning to recognize the signs and are learning differant ways to cope as well. I am teaching him he is in control of his feelings, its ok to feel them it is what he does with them that will make or break him as an adult.
There are answers out there for you. It may not be celiac but it would not hurt to look into since 1 in 133 Americans are. If not that look at diet, something might be triggering the behavior. It could be as common as wheat or over-senitive to sugar. I have seen corn cause children to act out of control and bounce off the walls. Help is out there. Tell the school you need the tools to cope with your son's condition. There are agencys out there that train parents. Check hostipals, local support groups. They may not be for exactly what your son has but if it has anything close they give help give you coping skills. Call a local crises line, they know alot of people and may be able to connect you to the right people. Many have felt what you have felt, some are just braver than others and seek help instead of pretending they have everything under control. You are brave to have made it this far and you are smart to seek help. I stumbled across this site and so if there is anything I can do to help if only to lend a shoulder give me a note and [email protected]
You are not alone
Traci 

Name: Sherry | Date: May 1st, 2006 5:26 PM
I've been there and done that as well. My son was diagnosed as ADHD, then PDD, then Autistic and now he has the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. There were days I seriously wondered if I would have any sanity left at the end of the day. I am happy to report that I DID survive with sanity in check and my DS is now 18 years old and the joy of my life. I don't know what I would have done without him in my life, especially after his dad and I divorced and I raised him as a single mom for 7 years.

You CAN do it and will look back on these days with amazement. 

Name: kc | Date: May 9th, 2006 10:36 PM
Have you ever trired respite care? They actually have activities for kids with disabilities so the parents can get away for a while and enjoy a sort of normal time off. It is good to take a break and recharge yourself too. There are several respite care facilities... I found my first one in the phone book. Their staff is well trained, well educated and patient... good luck! I know how diffucult it is, my son is Autistic and at times gives me a run for my money! 

Name: Maggiesmom | Date: May 11th, 2006 10:01 PM
My daughter is almost five and severely autistic. She goes to a school for special needs children. She is in the cognitively/autistic impaired class. Sometimes she drives me so crazy I feel like I'm going to just slit my wrists. I feel like it but I would never do it. Sometimes she poops and wipes it all over the walls. Other times she repeats the same phrase over and over for hours. It's maddening!!!! But I love her with all my heart and my 9 year old son needs me too. He is a big help. JUst have faith and pray. Laugh as much as you can. Have a sense of humor. You will need it. 

Name: DD | Date: Jun 21st, 2006 9:18 PM
i sometimes feel the same way that you do. my daughter is 8 and she is already to the point that i can't even deal with her any more. i feel sometimes that i am unable to even get through the day without feeling like i just want to give up and walk away from her but i am never able to do that. 

Name: kerrie | Date: Jun 22nd, 2006 1:11 PM
my son is a slightly autistic child and i don't know how to deal with it any advice? 

Name: Kim | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 11:09 AM
Hi Jenny!
You need to get help! NOW! Get a diagnoses for your sons behaviour and get yourself some respite, you need a break Jen!
Cheers Kim 

Name: Silver | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 7:17 PM
PLEASE GET HELP...theres lots of resources for DDD kids & thier family....sounds like you need a little help & support....I have a Downs child & had to place him in a home because of his size and tendency to violent episodes...I'd give ANYTHING to NOT have to do that....PLEASE find a loving home for your child before you SNAP! 

Name: kathy | Date: Jun 28th, 2006 1:47 AM
my son is 9 and suffers from ADHD, severe anxiety and depression, along with a handful of other learning disabilities. i have fought with schools for years to get him the help he needs. no child is crazy. some children are just special people who need more to make a go of things in life. unfortunately it does take time to get to a point of sanity for everyonr involved but it has been a 6 year battle for my son and i to find peace with his needs and how to deal with them. but we have made it this far and i will continue to stay with him and his struggle in everday life no matter what because if he can't depend on me who can he rely on. 

Name: samantha | Date: Jun 30th, 2006 1:39 PM
we all feel that way at one time or another trust me im also 20 and have two sons one is 2 and the other 10 months he has downs syndrome but my 2 year old is out of control he goes and goes and goes i never get a break i find that if i put a movie on for him he will sitt there for about 10 mins so i can have a time out 

Name: ms toy | Date: Jul 3rd, 2006 2:11 PM
the lord sent him here for reason just lke he is love him you will be blessed all kids reqire different kind of attention contact your local board of mrdd and ask about respite care sounds like you just need some you time hes yours so i know u love him you just need love and support or mabey jus a good ear 

Name: Layne | Date: Jul 3rd, 2006 4:34 PM
Everyone that has a child with behahior problems deep down want to give them up. Be honest. This doesnt mean were going to pull a adrea yetes. the reason we all like the internet and forums is we can be totaly honest and say things we would never addmit in real life. its like counseling we all have unreasonable feelings.
If you get your child on medication after seeing a doctor you will probibly have a better family life. you need to see a childrens doctor. Not a GP. They will lead you in thr right direction.
first and first and formost you need to be consistant in what ever avenue you take. all kids need structure especialy behavior issue kids.
summers are always difficult because there isnt as much structure. your lucky there is a special school I know they think putting these kids in the main streem is suposibly better but I disagree I think putting them in there own school gets them away from the rude remarks that they have to deal with daily is cruel..
so i am telling you get to the doctor and dont let that child suffer one day longer then he has to. Good luck 

Name: Denise | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:50 AM
Maybe he needs medication, have you talked to the doctor? 

Name: Denise | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:56 AM
My sister has the same problem with her son. Now she watches him outside every evening to work out his excess energy on the playground equipment in their back yard ( monkey bars). Then she gives him a warm bath every night. He is also on medication so he will sleep better. 

Name: za5ofus | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 7:45 PM
Jenny,
See if any counseling is available for free to help you through this. Here we have something called FLEC that helps families with children who have disabilities.
All kids drive you crazy but throw in a disability and it's even worse.
I'd also see if you can find someone to help care for your son so you can get out and have fun once in awhile. There are also Preschools for disabilites that your son may qualify for or special classes if he's in K. Call the school special ed dept and ask about services to help families cope.
Good luck Jenny
Sally 

Name: vavster | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 11:56 PM
sheila, I would like your help if you can contact me 

Name: Rachel | Date: Aug 7th, 2006 1:51 AM
Jenny: Don't feel bad about feeling like you want to give your son away. Raising a special needs child is more that a full time job and I have often thought about giving my daughter away, or putting her in home. I don't know where you live, but in many states there is funding to pay for respite care so that the parent(s) of special needs children can get away. In Colorado, there is the CES Medicaid waiver program, in addtion to a couple of others. I have a daughter with Down Syndrome, Obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, autism and severe ADD/ADHD. If it had not been for the CES program, I think I would have completely lost my mind by this time. Speak with a local advocacy group about funding to care for your child so that you can get away - even if just for a couple of days at a time. If you live in a State that does not have any programs like this, consider moving to a state that does. You cannot do a decent job caring for your child if you cannot get a break.

I really empathize. 

Name: kgarrison2005 | Date: Aug 21st, 2006 4:50 AM
hello, boys will be boys and yeah they do things that we dont like but dont give him away ,it would only hurt you later on in life and not to mention how he would feel not having his moma ,kids needs there moms. God gave him to you for a reason and just be thankfull that you have him there is so many people out in the world that would love to have a baby but cant .so just take care of him and be thankfull that you have him he is a very special little boy..take him out to the park and do things with him and talk to him each day and just be there for him .and be happy that you and him have each other ..we as parents are roll models for our kids they are our future and we have to stand by them and take care of them .i have 2 children and they are a blessing i would not take one thing on this earth for them theya re my life when you put him to bed just look at his little face there is no way in your heart you can give your own child up just like that no matter what kind of disabilities he may have . i hope that you will find it in your heart to think about what i have said .email me [email protected] 

Name: dsjones57 | Date: Aug 28th, 2006 9:27 PM
Hi guys! I'm new, but OLD! My kids are ages 19 and 23. They were both born by c-section and had serious issues at birth. It's a long story so I'll make it short! Both my daughter and son have autism, seizures, mental retardation and are basically developmentally delayed.

As a mom who's "been there, done that" I'd like to offer a little advice. We are not the "mom's" that we'd always thought we would be. Being a parent of a special needs child can be overwhelming. You WILL go thru periods of depression, loneliness, grief, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and so on. This is NORMAL! I certainly NEVER anticipated that I'd have not one but TWO disabled kids. Now, that being said. Here is the UP side. Your children are VERY special. They will LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY for the rest of their lives. They NEED you to love them as well. You have to adjust to what they CAN do and QUIT dwelling on what they CANNOT do. Don't hurt yourself anymore by comparing them to what I call typical children. They are not and (at least in my case) will not EVER be typical kids. Give yourself a break! You and your child were meant to be together. Ya, it's hard, it's not always fun. But you are a team and together you WILL succeed. One of the first things I had to do was quit comparing my kids to my friends children. My son and daughter are VERY attracttive kids. But at 19 and 23 their skills are still at the 3-5 year level. My friends kids are now getting married and starting families of their own. Each time we receive a wedding/graduation announcement it opens up old wounds. However, I've learned to give myself a few minutes to feel sad, and then I GET OVER IT! My kids have given me so much laughter and tears that I can never thank them enough for helping me become the STRONG person that I am. Quit trying to make them be normal. Don't give up on makeing them "fit in". That is very important. They need to know manners and what is and isn't appropriate behavior in a restaurant/public place. But if they want to carry a carebear for comfort let them. IT"S OK! Once you put them in THEIR comfort zone, they will behave better and you'll have a happier family/outting. Will it get easier? Probably not. Will it be worth it? MOST definately. 

Name: sylvia0366 | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 12:25 AM
Hi Jenny,

Being a single mom of 3 autistic kids, I know what you are going thru, I also have my "I am depressed" episodes and I cry,not to loud so my neighbors can hear or my kids. My 9 yr old son, Jake and my 7 yr old daughter, Sabrina, are both non verbal, not fully pottty trained, can be sometimes aggressive towards each other, or walls, etc...and like 99% of the time "wild". There are alot of times that I feel I can't handle anymore, BUT, then one of them comes over and gives me a kiss, hug, smile or does a "funny dance" or something and all my negative thoughts fly out the window. Like Merrideth wrote, god gave us special kids because we are special, I never believed it, but, she is right. My way of thinking is, I am their mom, they love me and I love them, and NO ONE will love them or treat them better than I would. I could NEVER imagine giving them away or putting them in a home, (especially with the horrible things you hear on TV that can happen to them). Jenny talk to his pediatrician and see if they will put him on medication to "calm" him down. I had my kids on ritalin for a while, and that REALLY calmed them down. So it might help. Request from your regional center to authorize "respite services" that at least gives you a few hours a month to relax, see a movie, dinner, etc... Just know that you are not alone. If you ever want to just "vent" you can email me at [email protected]

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