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Name: alyssa
[ Original Post ]
i'm not a mom but i'm not sur who else to ask. theres a girl in my drama class (i'm in high school) who has a messed up face. its not her fault or anything (she was in a car accidant). shes real nice but the "cool kids" are always makin fun of her. they even laffed her off stage the other day when she was dong a scene. i feel so bad for her but i don't now what to do. i hang ou with the cool kids but i don't want her to think i'm like them. what can i do to make her feel better and to get my "friends" to shut up?
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Name: Joan | Date: Jun 16th, 2005 8:20 PM
Since you put their name in quotation marks, I can't help but think that maybe you don't actually think of the cool kids as your friends. Maybe you just hang out with them because they're "cool"? If that's the case, then stop wasting your time with them. You're obviously much more mature than they are (if you weren't, you would have helped them laugh your classmate off stage). As for your classmate, try simply being a friend to her. She probably needs a friend (and a real friend, not a pity friend) more than anything else. 

Name: Michele | Date: Jul 6th, 2005 5:47 PM
I was a cheerleader in highschool and was friends with the popular crowd, but I always stuck up for people with learning dissabilities. I bet some of your "cool" friends just don't pipe up about their feeling because they want to be liked. Maybe you should start the trend by sticking up for people. This car accident is not her fault and it is sad that people go out of their way to make others feel bad. Tell your friends to stop being rude. How would they like to be treated like that if they had a problem. 

Name: Anne Marie | Date: Jul 8th, 2005 2:50 AM
If they are that cruel to her then how do you know they will not be cruel to you. The "COOL" kids will amount to nothing when they get older. I was not on the cool crowd. I was like that girl in your drama class. I am pigeoned toed and wear glasses. They picked on me all the time. Made me cry. I was devastated. But now I am 27 years old, married to a wonderful man of 8 years, and have two beautiful children. I have the life that those jerks wished they had. Maybe you need to find other friends that you can really call your friends. 

Name: Rebecca York | Date: Aug 3rd, 2005 1:01 PM
Hi Alyssa, I'm not sure how old you and your classmates are but in time they will realize what an impact they've had on this girls life, and then everyone will understand how special she really is. As far as the making fun goes she probably could use a friend like you to stand up for her. Treat her no differently than you would want to be treated. And just be nice to her. 

Name: gladys | Date: Oct 1st, 2005 2:48 AM
Alyssa,
When my daughter was about 14 years old, I found out that they had a club, but it was just for pretty girs. Since this was more than 10 years ago, I guess this would be the cool kids club today or group whatever you call it.

Well i was troubled by that, and as a parent I had to let her know that that kind of separation and especially for that reason was not cool.

And you don't chose your friends by the way they look but by the character, in other words substance.

Ask your cool friends to put themselves in her place, you would be cooler if you just didn't participate in that kind of behavior.

Your friends will learn that looks change and when they do, who's going to laugh them off of stage. 

Name: Heather | Date: Dec 14th, 2005 4:25 AM
Alyssa I personaly believe that God is happy that you are popular and that he has given you that gift and is watching to see what you will do with it. Pray 


Name: Heather | Date: Jan 9th, 2006 10:11 PM
Sounds like the "cool" kids are really not so cool. It sounds like they are very insecure. By picking on the girl who was in the traffic accident it makes them feel they are better, or maybe they are afraid they may end up like her. Accidents happen to everyone. My suggestion is to stand up for her and tell the "cool" kids they are acting immature. 

Name: felix | Date: Jan 12th, 2006 11:58 PM
hi 

Name: maggie | Date: Jan 29th, 2006 3:04 AM
you know i am 44 yrs old and i was always told what goes arround comes arround . My best answer to that is what if it was there child would they like there child be made fun of of course not. and what if by chance there child was born with a messed up face or autisum which my daughter has people stare at us all the time and some understand if you learn one thing from this life is full of suprises Quote+ Life is like a box of chocolate you never know what your going to get+ good luck and be good to your friend becuse it will come back to you . 

Name: Kim Mori | Date: Jun 29th, 2006 12:54 AM
Firstly I'd like to say to you ''Good on you'' for standing up and asking for yourself and other's!! I have a 12yr old son who is severly disabled, he is very handsome though but very disabled! We have people looking at us all the time, kid's being mean and adult's who just don't get it! My advise to you would be to let the girl know that you do care, say hello to her when ever you see hear and let your group hear you doing that, awareness is all that it is- maybe talk to a teacher or your school and ask if there is some awareness program that can be put in place at your school for disabilities etc! And tell your mates know "It's not COOL to be CRUEL"! My 11yr old goes through it at school with his older brother and he just explains what happened to him at birth and if they keep going on and paying him out ,him and his mate get them at lunch time!!! Ah well, what do you do!! Sometimes people just need to be told that, that's wrong and to grow up! Anyone can have any kind of accident and end up dis-figuered or dis-abled, something the "COOL" kid's need to know!
Cheers! 

Name: rain | Date: Jun 29th, 2006 5:52 AM
Dear Alyssa,
This is an opportunity for you to make a difference in this world. Sometimes it is not every day that you get the chance to make an impact on others.
I have a feeling that the cool kids are afraid, and don’t really know how to handle this situation. So like most children they giggle and shun what makes them uncomfortable. Sit all your friends down and explain this to them. If you want you can print this out, and read from it. Or you can E-mail it to them, or ask a school counselor to read it to them. Your drama teacher may want to use it as an exercise for the class.

I want ever one to close their eyes.
I want every one in this room to picture the person they love most in the world. It could be your Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Just picture the person you love most in this world. You will not have to tell anyone who that person is.
Now I want you to picture what I am saying.
What if, tomorrow the person you love were in a bad car accident,
What if their face was shattered against the windshield
What if their face was now completely disfigured for life.
Now picture that person that you love coming back to school, or home, or work, with that face,
Now picture people laughing at the person you love until they run away crying.
Ask them to wait; you have something else to say.
Now ask them what if that person was you.
I want you to know, I would not laugh at you.
I promise to be there for you.

There are people out there right now, who don’t have to imagine this, because it really happened to them.
And someone who is loved might tell you the car accident never hurt as much as being laughed at.
At this time nothing can change the outcome of this accident.
But everyone can help change how they have made this person feel.
Ask everyone to apologize, and include your new friend within the groups.
The ones who don’t, well, you will have to make up your mind, how you feel about them. 

Name: Jenny | Date: Jun 30th, 2006 8:54 PM
It sounds like you know what the right thing to do it. Do you really want to be friends with people who make fun of kids who are different? Thats NOT COOL. Being in High school is hard. I believe that if you stay friends with this girl your other friends will start to warm up to her. Keep sticking up for her and keep doing what is right. We need more people like you in this world. Hang in there!!! 

Name: za5ofus | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 7:53 PM
I'd tell my friends it's mean to make fun or others. It's not the kids fault she was in a car accident and how would they feel it it happened to them or a loved one.
Alyssa you sound mature for your age. It's hard to be nice to someone who's different and still try to fit in with the in crowd.
I hope my son Nicky meets someone who will be caring like you and try to make a difference to kids who are picked on. No one should be made to feel inferior and be excepted for who they are.
You made my day , I'm a Mom to a child with multiple learning disabilities and one with ADHD.
More kids should care like you and try to make a differnce in some kids live.
Thanks again for caring Alyssa. I'll pray you do the right thing for this girl. 

Name: dogsam23 | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 12:17 AM
Everyone says that kids are so mean but you are an exception. When I was in school, I reached out to people that were different and made fun of, I would sit with them on the bus and maybe once a week sit with them at lunch. If the "cool kids" really value your friendship then they will either follow your lead (slowly) or they will respect your views and make extend some courtesy to this disfigured young girl. Character is something that many people have t learn but it looks as though you were born with it. Your awesome!!! 

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