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Name: AnneWT
[ Original Post ]
UGH!! where do I start... having a son who mentally handicap has been the most absolutely difficult things to process & process & process. Added a husband who is so selfish, it is sometimes all that I can bare. I try to keep the focus on my son but my husband is so lazy that I get weary at times - this is one of them. How do you make a marriage work when you have a special needs child???
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Name: Lauri Kollross | Date: Jun 22nd, 2010 4:17 AM
I think we all have been in your same shoes. Husbands at times that just don't get it. My 17 y/o son (developmentally delayed-rare chromosome abnormality) has mainly been my responsibility--I'm the one that knows the medications deals with all the "stuff" We've been married 20 years and when things are going ok with our son our marriage is okay--when challenges arise so do the marriage issues and my discussion of "It's not fair that I do-- we then have the "talk" about fairness and being selfish. My husband is a good guy but sometimes I swear just doesn't have a clue what mom's go through (in addition to our full time work and home jobs) Luckily I also have a great network of friends to get me through the yuck times--even if it means a few hours away for lunch or shopping--Also, you need that time with just your husband to realize why you married him and to get on the same page with things regarding your son. You both need to remember that you're in it together-he needs to step up and you need to let him. I know it's easier said than done but o/w you'll just get more frustrated with the life that we have. Hang in there and keep in touch 

Name: shab | Date: Jun 24th, 2010 6:41 PM
i know the feeling to, i had my baby 4 months ago we are in and out of hospital with him. its hard because my husband works most days and then when he is at home hes just lazy, and always out, im the one who has to care for my babys needs, and its hard because i have to do things to make my baby better and it hurts my baby, ma husband doesnt understand what i go threw every day because hes either at work which is fine but when hes just out with mates it hurts, its like since we have had our special needs baby he doesnt wanna be around i know he loves the baby with all his heart but i think its me, i cant help being in a mood with him because hes never hardly around, but as women were all stronger and talking helps so if u wanna talk we will x 

Name: Lauri | Date: Jun 26th, 2010 4:02 AM
I think people deal with things differrently. I know when my son was young, I dealt with things very differently than my husband. I was the one who felt I was doing everything and his life went on like normal. Throughout the years it has gotten better but I also decided I needed a life too and he needed to also be part of being a parent-It also made him more comfortable with what we were going through-as moms it's very easy to just do it all after all we carried that child so I think it is more natural for us--We are amazing women--Don't forget it! 

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