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I was wondering what you ladies thought about breast feeding in public? I just spoke with one of my girlfriends who is very upset. She was at the park breast feeding her 3 month old (under a small blanket) and a woman passing by glared at her and mumbled something under her breath. Granted she didn't hear what she said but it was pretty obvious. Is it wrong to do this in public if you're covered? I personally see nothing wrong with it as long as your breast isn't hanging out where other people can see it. Just curious on your thoughts on the topic because I would have no problem doing this with my next baby. ↓
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| Name: debbie_dettner | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 9:35 PM |
OOOOHHHH this hits a hot spot. Let's just start with the basics--breasts are mammary glands given to us for the sole purpose of providing nourishment to our children. The fact that some perverted, infantile, uneducated, primarily male but obviously "stick-up-their-___" females choose to view breasts as sex objects and make any mother feel uncomfortable when she is doing the very thing God intended their purpose to be just burns me!!!!!
Here's a little fact, a lactation consultant working in a hospital with a high immigration population stated that not one of the women she consulted who was an immigrant chose to breast feed. WHY? Because they never see "American women" doing it, so they think it is not the right thing to do. How PATHETIC is that?!!! Not only are they depriving their children of the best possible nourishment, but these are primarily the people least able to afford ridiculously priced formula
There is absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public. The next time some pinched faced prude with no sense makes a comment, tell your friend to ask them if they would like to eat their lunch in a bathroom. NO? Well why should my child? ↑ |
| Name: Melissa | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:16 PM |
| to debbie_dettner..........all i have to say is amen sister!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:33 PM |
| Name: Julia | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:48 PM |
| Well this girlfriend of mine is very sensitive to what others think. She has always been this way, and yes I agree with you Layne, knowing me, I would have probably said, "what, are you jealous"??? So I would have kept on feeding myself. Some women just feel uncomfortable out in public so it pisses me off that people like that lady have to make it worse! They should think what a wonderful Mommie she is. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:50 PM |
| Here is my question. How did the woman know she was breast feeding if the baby was under a blanket? I have heard this argument raised for years and I don’t get it. I breast fed two children and never had a bad look or a complaint. But, I was always discreet about it, and fed them with a light blanket thrown over my shoulder, draping down over the baby. Most people never even knew I was breast feeding. I also defy you to actually see the nipple, if a baby is feeding. You can’t see anything, so what is the big deal. I have to say, yea, if you just plop it out in front of everyone, then feed your baby in a real obvious way. Some people may have a problem with it. The thing is though, I am 40 years old and I have never seen a nursing mom do that in public, only at home. So what are people talking about when they say they don’t want to see nursing women in public? When you pull up a t-shirt to nurse, the shirt covers the breast, and the baby hides the rest. Here is what I want to say to people, if you look over and someone is feeding their hungry baby in the healthiest way possible, you show some respect and don’t look, stare, or make a face. You want to know what I think, I think people who don’t know anything about nursing think of breasts as a sexual product, and you forget it is actually a lactation device. Tell your friend to tell others it is rude to stare. ↑ |
| Name: Melissa | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 12:03 AM |
| well if her baby is anything like mine he/she doesn't like to be covered and would just pull the blanket off. so it was kinda hard for me to be "completly" covered but if anything showed it wasn't my nipple. i don't understand why people get so upset. the baby covers the nipple and even if you can see the rest it isn't anything different than what you see when you turn on your t.v. i have seen more watching regular t.v. than what i see when someone is nursing. i think that people need to get a grip! ↑ |
| Name: Julia | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 12:30 AM |
I am sure it is obvious for some when breastfeeding. Like if the baby is fussy, if you are changing position, or switching breasts, etc. I don't know, that's what I would assume on how they know. Did you hear the story about the woman that was asked to stop breastfeeding in a grocery store? It was up in Oregon at the Fred Meyer store. I will attach the article for anyone interested in reading it. ;)
PORTLAND, Ore. - An incident at a Portland Fred Meyer store has the company reassessing its policy on women who breastfeed their babies on store grounds.
Chris Musser, the mother of a 3-month-old infant, says she was sitting on a bench breastfeeding her newborn near the checkout line at the Gateway Fred Meyer store when the store director approached her and asked her to cover up after receiving complaints from customers.
Musser says she complained to the company management about the incident and was contacted by a regional manager who backed the actions of the store director.
She said the incident caused her embarrassment and made her feel ashamed.
Under Oregon law, women can breastfeed in any public place, but the statute does not define what constitutes a 'public place.'
While Fred Meyer stores are private property, they do invite the public in.
Musser posted the incident on her blog and began to receive feedback from women across the country.
So did Fred Meyer's management, in the form of dozens of emails.
Days ago, Melinda Merrill, spokesperson for the Fred Meyer chain, said they regretted the actions of the store manager and apologized to Musser.
Merrill added that the company will be updating store policy to allow mothers to breastfeed at will in the stores.
She also said store management teams will be given new training on the subject of breastfeeding. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 1:26 AM |
| I think the bottom line should be that people should stop staring at nursing women. That’s the problem, not nursing. It is not a spectacle. It is a mom feeding a baby. If people saw a woman giving a bottle to a baby they could care less, not a second glance. And actually I liked my privacy about it, and if I did feed in public, I appreciated people not looking. I think the campaign should be for every one else to learn manners, and social graces. I think that that is great that the store had to apologize to a woman, when 95% of their business is women. My question is who are the people who complain, and what is their complaint about it. I think we as women owe it to all women and babies to educate others so that this will change. I found people very fascinated by my breast feeding, and heard many questions. I was asked by a woman mind you if it was true if you have sexual release when breast feeding. Most of the questions I did get seemed to be sexual in nature. That is what I think the true stigma is, people associating breast feeding some how with sexuality. We have to change how people think. Sorry ladies, I am a bit passionate about this topic. I don’t mean to go all radical, oh well yes I do. ↑ |
| Name: Julia | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 1:30 AM |
| I agree rain! I am 100% with ya on this one! ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 2:46 AM |
| Thank you Julia. We should come into this world and make it better before we go; after all, we are leaving it to our children. There are many ways to make it better. This is a great one. I have advocated for breast feeding since I was 20. Didn’t realize what we need to advocate is behavior in others. ↑ |
| Name: firewife | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 6:36 AM |
| I'm proud to be a breastfeeding mom, and I have no problem NIP, whether it be walking around walmart, in the checkout line at the grocery store or in restaurants. I have received a few stares and mumbles but no one has ever said anything to me (I wish they would because I would give them an earfull) I normally use a blankie over baby's head, unless I am wearing a nursing shirt. America is the only country where NIP is taboo, its also the biggest formula producer. But why should I give my child something man made when I can give him something God made. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 7:18 AM |
Wow! Majority rules.
My mom didnt even want me to breast feed. she thought it was weird or something. But in the 50's and 60's I think bottle feeding was, for some reason the popular thing to do. breast feeding was considered primative. Im curious the age of the people with the problem. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 8:32 AM |
http://www.kellymom.com/writings/bf-history.
html
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2
006/07/02/national/main1773867.shtml
Chec
k
this out. ↑ |
| Name: debbie_dettner | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 11:32 AM |
Firewife I Love you! You're a great inspiration for us all! Layne, my mother only nursed us each two weeks and was actually proud of stopping, it seemed. I remember being around 8 or 9 and her making rude comments about a couple nursing in a restaurant. I remember thinking how happy and in love with their child the couple looked and wondering what could possibly be wrong with that.
Thus, with my first I was determined not to be afraid to nurse in public. I took my two week old for a walk and ended up sitting on a bench in an outdoor strip mall. Most of the people that walked by were older--70's or so. Many stopped to congratulate me and tell me how wonderful it was that I was breastfeeding. It was truly comforting and inspirational! Just another example I guess of childhood rebellion as it is their offspring who are usually making the negative comments--go figure. ↑ |
| Name: homemommichele | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 1:37 PM |
| If she was giving the baby a bottle, no one would have thougth twice!! She was feeding her infant the way God intended and she was being discreet!! Makes me sooo mad! I had trouble because my silly boys would not leave the cover over them and would reach up and push it off, but they needed fed! With my first one I was a recluse for a year!! With the second I just tried to find a low traffic area!! ↑ |
| Name: debbie_dettner | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 2:39 PM |
| You know, Homemommichele, the sad part is that you even had to feel the need to "be discreet" at all. It is sad that our society dictates that we need to "cover up" and "hide" the fact that we are feeding our children with breasts, yet there are titty bars galore that objectify breasts as men 's "eye candy" and "toys", thus making their wives feel insecure and causing even women to see breasts as sex objects. It's pathetic. If more people would breastfeed in public, the stigma would be reduced drastically. ↑ |
| Name: homemommichele | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 3:34 PM |
| Amen Debbie I completely agree, once again we go back to the women being started at and made to feel like that!! I went into a waiting room part of the bathroom, you know like the little lounge that is clean and nice and has comfortable seats outside of a restroom...and still all the woman coming in gawked and stared!! It wasn't even the men!! I have actually found men to be more polite and just not look!! ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 4:53 PM |
| Are women not redicilous sometimes?! Men most often are more respectfull...I found that too. But some women...I dont know...and ya know...some of them likely did it too? Anyway...let er rip girls...when you are being as modest in public as possible...(not whipping it out) though that shouldnt matter either...but most of us use the little blanket. Those who just have to scrunch up their already crankey faces.....I actually think they are sick puppies kind of. Its only nasty and dirty and gross if YOU are thinking that...to anyone sane....its all very beautiful. ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 6:07 PM |
Its funny because before i had my child i didnt like to see woman breastfeeding in public,but now that i have been there my attuide has changed.I think that if people dont like it then they should look away,and for all those people who say well she should have expressed some milk before she came out well it is not that easy to express either!
At the end of the day that is were your babys milk is and it is tough if people dont like it ,after all we are living in the 21st century not the 18th! ↑ |
| Name: p.c. | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 9:31 PM |
We have the baby formula companies from the 1940's and 1950's to thank for this my sisters.
This is a perfect example of the power of advertising, and how the media can quickly alter our ideas as a society of what is right and wrong if we let them.
And we do let them.
Before the 1940's, throughout history to the beginning of time, new mothers learned from their mothers and grandmothers, and had the support of their women friends and relatives when they had a new baby to breastfeed. Then certain people wanted to make money from it, and look how quickly the perception of breastfeeding changed!
Just a mere 2 or 3 generations have passed, and most of us no longer have the support our grandmothers or greatgrandmothers had. And the concept of breastfeeding as a good and natural thing to do which once was not given a second thought by society, but rather was a cause for scandal if a mother chose not to, now is the exact opposite, at least here in the U.S.
Upon reading more about this in books and articles that support breastfeeding mothers, one finds out that it's a different story in most other parts of the world. But formula companies did not push their agenda in the other parts of the world, their factories were here, and the money was here, so the push was made to give breastfeeding a bad name, and lo and behold we bought into it as a society.
We tend to do that.
We do tend to let propaganda efforts tell us that which is good and natural is 'shameful', and what is shameful is 'good and natural'.
It didn't happen overnight, so the restoration to the truth of the matter will take time also. Keep up the good fight, this is one battle where what is good and natural is on the winning front. Granted we still have a ways to go, but I started breastfeeding in the 1980's, and I assure you that we've come a long way since then. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 10:36 PM |
| I think it goes back much further. Women of upper class were using wet nurses thousands of years back into history. They found it lower class to nurse. I am wondering when the bottle was invented if it was just a way for all classes to have a type of wet nurse. ↑ |
| Name: Melissa | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 12:45 AM |
here is a website that i came across and thought was interesting. it a bunch of articles/letters from people all around the world about breastfeeding in public. it is very interesting to hear all the different opinoins about it.
http://www.007b.com/p
ublic-breastfeeding-world.ph
p
↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 1:47 AM |
| I am so glad I visited here. I found this site because of the autism room, I work with special children. I have never visited a place like this before. I stopped by the moms with teens room, as I own a couple of them, but was very, VERY, discouraged by the posts. I was thinking of deleting this site, but after visiting with you ladies I again have hope in the human race. LOL. Thank you for the intelligent conversation. I look forward now to visiting with you all. ↑ |
| Name: p.c. | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 2:38 AM |
rain,
yes you are right about upper class women not breastfeeding their children themselves, but they did hire other women to do this.
The reason the upper classes did not breastfeed was because it delayed ovulation and prevented the conception of more heirs. Large familes were a sign of affluency. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 4:55 AM |
| I wonder what the social economic back ground is of most nursing mothers today? Who is more likely to nurse? Do people consider it low class today? I was only 20 when I gave birth to my first child. The doctor asked if I planned to nurse or bottle feed. I asked which is better for the baby. He replied nursing, so I said that is what I will do then. It was that simple for me. No one around me discouraged this, although no one around me nursed either. I was raised in the country by my grandmother, not much money, but we didn’t really need much. We didn’t distinguish class by wealth, but by behavior. This may be due to the fact that there was no wealth near us. ↑ |
| Name: Tonya | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 11:18 PM |
| HA. I HAVE A FUNNY STORIE SPEAKING OF BREAST FEEDING IN PUBLIC. I BREASTFEED MY DAUGHTER. WE WERE AT A RESTARAUNT, AND aVA WAS HUNGRY, SO I COVERED HER AND MYSELF UP , AND FEED HER. AN ELDERLY COUPLE CAME AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO US AND ORDERED THERE FOOD AND ALL. WELL BECAUSE AVA IS A VERY LOUD EATER THE COUPLE GOT UP AND LEFT BEFORE THERE FOOD GOT THERE, I WAS SO EMBARRASED, MY HUSBAND TOO. LOL. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 3:00 PM |
Well ok so I do not think I am going to be very popular after telling how I feel about this.Frist let me say that I think nursing is very natual and is the best thing for the baby.
This is what happend when my hubby and I finally were able to go out eat. The women at the table right in front of us whipped out her breast and left it hanging out then picked up the baby to eat...and never covered her self at all. I do not have a problem with nursing but I am sorry I do not need to see nor do I want to see folks breast hanging out.
I mean come on she should be discreat. I know breast are for food but lets face it we do not walk around with our tops of so why is it ok to whipp it out and leave it exposed for all to see. It is still comsidered a privit part of a womens body...I mean a some of you say the breast is for food for the baby... so ... penius is for making babies you do not see guys whipping it out in public when they feel the urge..I know I know it is not the same thing but it is still exposing yourself.
I am not talking to the women that cover up I am addressing this to the ones that do NOT cover up...at all.
If I go into a topless place well you get what you came for but eatting out at a nice resurant ( that has a beautiful area for changing and taking care of the needs of a baby)
This is not the first time this has happened. Untill we all start walking around topless then please cover up.Breasts are still looked at as being very sexual part of ladies.
I do think you should be able to feed the child any time any place as long as you do cover yourself.
I really do hope I did not upset anyone by this Just how I feel.
God bless and Enojoy your children and keep doing what is best for them ↑ |
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