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Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:22 PM |
hay...how do ya spell pee ed hummmmmmm^%^%$%#%#!!!!!!!! LAMO!!!! What else is new#@!!!! ↑ |
Name: Debra | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:29 PM |
Maxie I think I know exactly the story you're talking about- and you re right it is a good one! ↑ |
Name: Irene | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:42 PM |
Lol i must go looking for it in my inbox, hopefully i havent deleated it lol, ill go check, it is very very funny! ↑ |
Name: Irene | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:46 PM |
Too bad, i deleted it hun, do u stil have it? if so copy it and start new topic then paste it on here,, good luck hunny. have a great day ! xx ↑ |
Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 11:58 AM |
Oh no! What if neither of you have it anymore? I'm sittin' here waiting for a good laugh :-) Put us out of our misery....please! ↑ |
Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:43 PM |
Ok girls I am going to wing it ... I know nothing about copy and paste blah blah blah...but I am going to try...oh I hope it works so funny!!!!!! ↑ |
Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:47 PM |
Ok here goes.... All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of ]easy, ] ]] ] ]]painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the ]wax. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]My night began as any other normal weeknight. fix dinner, play with ] ]] ] ]]the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind ]for ] ]]the ] ]] ] ]]next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the ]medicine ] ]] ] ]]cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, ]you ] ]] ] ]]just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel ] ]] ] ]]them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull ]the ] ]]hair ] ]] ] ]]right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a ]genius, ] ]] ] ]]but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA ]THINK!?!) ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other ] ]]stuck ] ]] ] ]]together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I ]get ] ]]out ] ]] ] ]]the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," ]yeah...right!) ] ]] ] ]]I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and ]pull. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I ]can ] ]] ] ]]do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of ]all ] ]] ] ]]wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I ]sneak ] ]] ] ]]back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I ] ]]drop ] ]] ] ]]my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, ]I ] ]] ] ]]apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering ]the ] ]] ] ]]right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my ]butt ] ]] ] ]]cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply an brace ] ]] ] ]]myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY ] ]]WORD!!!!!!!!! ] ]] ] ]]Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the ] ]]strip. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]RATS !!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and ] ]]spotted. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing ]drums??? ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused ]me ] ]]so ] ]] ] ]]much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the ]glory ] ]]that is my triumph over body hair. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I hold up the strip! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see ]the ] ]]hair. The ] ]] ] ]]hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]RATS !!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, ]which ] ]]is ] ]] ] ]]now covered in cold wax and matted hair. ] ]] ] ]]Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped ]up ]on ] ]] ] ]]the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]DARN!!!!!!!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]*Hoo-hoo* Sealed shut! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]Butt?? Sealed shut! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and ] ]]think ] ]] ] ]]to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop ]off!" ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, ]immerse ] ] ]]the ] ]] ] ]]wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, ] ]]Right??? ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]*WRONG!!!!!!!* ]] ] ]] ] ]]I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to ]torture ] ]] ] ]]prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the ]only ] ]] ] ]]thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having ] ]]them ] ]] ] ]]glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding ]hot ] ]] ] ]]water Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had ]cement-epoxy ] ]] ] ]]myself to the porcelain!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a ]phone ] ]] ] ]]put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has ]waxed ] ] ]]before ] ]] ] ]]and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good ]conversation ] ]] ] ]]starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of ]the ] ]]tub!" ] ]] ] ]]I calmly tell her. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for ]removal ] ]]but ] ]] ] ]]she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly ]where ] ]] ] ]]the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]She's laughing out loud by now..I can hear her. I give her the rundown ]and ] ]] ] ]]she suggests I call 000. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]YEAH!!!!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]Right!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I should be the joke of someone else's night. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax ]off ] ]]with ] ]] ] ]]a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered ]in ] ]] ] ]]hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then ] ]]dry-shaving ] ]] ] ]]the sticky wax off!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and ]I'm ] ]]sure ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I'm going to need Post Tramatic Stress counseling for this event. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving ] ]]grace....the ] ]] ] ]]lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have ]to ] ]]loss ] ]] ] ]]at this point? I rub some on and OH MY WORD!!!!!!! ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my ]friend. ] ]] ] ]]It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my ]grief ] ]] ] ]]and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I ] ]]could ] ]] ] ]]have amputated my own leg at this point. ] ]] ] ]] ] ]] ] ]]Next week I'm going to try hair color .......... ] ]-- ]No virus found in this incoming message. ]Checked by AVG Free Edition. ]Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.4.4/320 - Release Date: ]20/04/2006 ] ] ]-- ]No virus found in this outgoing message. ]Checked by AVG Free Edition. ]Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.4.4/320 - Release Date: ]20/04/2006 ] ________________________ _________________________________________ Expres s yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today it's FREE! http://messenger.msn.click-url .com/go/onm00200471ave/direct/01 / ↑ |
Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:53 PM |
I love it ...are you laughing yet!!!!!!! Or still!!!!! ↑ |
Name: channie | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 9:24 AM |
LOL!! that was soo funny!!! well worth the wait.hehe. thanks. ↑ |
Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 11:15 AM |
OMG!!! *LMAO* *LOL**LMAO**LOL**LMAO* That is sooooooo funni - I'm glad you found it!!! Oh dear me.......*LOL* ↑ |