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Name: Maxie
[ Original Post ]
Ladies Irene sent me this story of a woman who decided to remove some hair. I near peeded myself I was laughing so hard while reading it.

Irene honey...if you get a moment long enoungh to post that story here ya gotta!!!!
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Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:22 PM
hay...how do ya spell pee ed hummmmmmm^%^%$%#%#!!!!!!!!
LAMO!!!! What else is new#@!!!! 

Name: Debra | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 4:29 PM
Maxie I think I know exactly the story you're talking about- and you
re right it is a good one! 

Name: Irene | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:42 PM
Lol i must go looking for it in my inbox, hopefully i havent deleated it lol,
ill go check, it is very very funny! 

Name: Irene | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 11:46 PM
Too bad, i deleted it hun, do u stil have it?
if so copy it and start new topic then paste it on here,,
good luck hunny.
have a great day ! xx 

Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 11:58 AM
Oh no! What if neither of you have it anymore? I'm sittin' here waiting for a good laugh :-)

Put us out of our misery....please! 

Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:43 PM
Ok girls I am going to wing it ... I know nothing about copy and paste blah blah blah...but I am going to try...oh I hope it works so funny!!!!!! 


Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:47 PM
Ok here goes....

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
]easy,
] ]]
] ]]painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
]wax.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]My night began as any other normal weeknight. fix dinner, play with
] ]]
] ]]the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind
]for
] ]]the
] ]]
] ]]next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the
]medicine
] ]]
] ]]cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax,
]you
] ]]
] ]]just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel
] ]]
] ]]them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull
]the
] ]]hair
] ]]
] ]]right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a
]genius,
] ]]
] ]]but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA
]THINK!?!)
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
] ]]stuck
] ]]
] ]]together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I
]get
] ]]out
] ]]
] ]]the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"
]yeah...right!)
] ]]
] ]]I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and
]pull.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I
]can
] ]]
] ]]do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of
]all
] ]]
] ]]wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I
]sneak
] ]]
] ]]back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
] ]]drop
] ]]
] ]]my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure,
]I
] ]]
] ]]apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering
]the
] ]]
] ]]right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my
]butt
] ]]
] ]]cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply an brace
] ]]
] ]]myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY
] ]]WORD!!!!!!!!!
] ]]
] ]]Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
] ]]strip.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]RATS !!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
] ]]spotted.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing
]drums???
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
]me
] ]]so
] ]]
] ]]much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
]glory
] ]]that is my triumph over body hair.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I hold up the strip!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
]the
] ]]hair. The
] ]]
] ]]hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]RATS !!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body,
]which
] ]]is
] ]]
] ]]now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
] ]]
] ]]Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped
]up
]on
] ]]
] ]]the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]DARN!!!!!!!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]*Hoo-hoo* Sealed shut!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]Butt?? Sealed shut!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
] ]]think
] ]]
] ]]to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop
]off!"
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,
]immerse
]
] ]]the
] ]]
] ]]wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off,
] ]]Right???
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]*WRONG!!!!!!!* ]]
] ]]
] ]]I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
]torture
] ]]
] ]]prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the
]only
] ]]
] ]]thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having
] ]]them
] ]]
] ]]glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding
]hot
] ]]
] ]]water Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
]cement-epoxy
] ]]
] ]]myself to the porcelain!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
]phone
] ]]
] ]]put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has
]waxed
]
] ]]before
] ]]
] ]]and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good
]conversation
] ]]
] ]]starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of
]the
] ]]tub!"
] ]]
] ]]I calmly tell her.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
]removal
] ]]but
] ]]
] ]]she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly
]where
] ]]
] ]]the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?"
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]She's laughing out loud by now..I can hear her. I give her the rundown
]and
] ]]
] ]]she suggests I call 000.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]YEAH!!!!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]Right!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I should be the joke of someone else's night.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax
]off
] ]]with
] ]]
] ]]a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered
]in
] ]]
] ]]hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
] ]]dry-shaving
] ]]
] ]]the sticky wax off!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and
]I'm
] ]]sure
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I'm going to need Post Tramatic Stress counseling for this event.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
] ]]grace....the
] ]]
] ]]lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have
]to
] ]]loss
] ]]
] ]]at this point? I rub some on and OH MY WORD!!!!!!!
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
]friend.
] ]]
] ]]It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!"
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
]grief
] ]]
] ]]and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
] ]]could
] ]]
] ]]have amputated my own leg at this point.
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]
] ]]Next week I'm going to try hair color ..........
]
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Name: Maxie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:53 PM
I love it ...are you laughing yet!!!!!!! Or still!!!!! 

Name: channie | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 9:24 AM
LOL!! that was soo funny!!! well worth the wait.hehe. thanks. 

Name: Fiona | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 11:15 AM
OMG!!! *LMAO* *LOL**LMAO**LOL**LMAO*

That is sooooooo funni - I'm glad you found it!!!

Oh dear me.......*LOL* 

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