by two years old, how much should a child know from right and wrong? and how much shit should I give her if she does something that i've told her a million times not to do? am I being too soft? or am I being too hard on her, when she might be too young to know why I'm giving her shit?
we have this stuff on the lower part of the window. it looks just like stained glass, but it's a film you can peel on and off....it's really pretty...i put it there so i could have the curtains open with out people staring into our house when we're sitting on the couch....ANYWAYS....she ALWAYS goes and peels it off, and then I have to try and put it back on again, and it's a pain cause then I gotta fill up a bottle with soapy water, spray the windows and re-apply it. and smooth it down so there's no bubbles.....i've told her no, i've gotten right her her face and gave her one of those very firm No's...i've put her in her naughty spot....but yet she STILL does it. does she not understand?
and just now, she wanted a little bowl of cheerios. so I put some in a bowl, and then she picked it up and threw it across the room!!! yesterday, she got pissed off cause she wanted something right this second and I couldn't do it for her, cause I was busy with Lex, so she threw a plate and it shattered everywhere!!!! OMG!!!!!! i know you'll all say she testing me. but at her age, I just don't know what is the proper way of dealing with her? what's too hard? will she understand WHY she's getting in trouble? ↓
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| Name: momo | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 1:01 PM |
| oh them testy boogers..just keep doing what your doing..you have to keep doing it..not let down..eventually they understand..they still test you..but they do understand..they are trying to see how much they cn get away with.. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 1:24 PM |
yep testing how strong the boundries are....searching for weakness' is the boundries......
keep consistance.....yes it is frustrating....yes she understands, and yes it certainly sounds like she is testing....this is what 2 year olds do.......they test everything over and over, to find a weakness......some un consistancy......
they will test in stores, test at others homes, testing cause daddy is not home.......oh yes just keep doing what you are doing, this is what 2 year old do. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 1:37 PM |
| yeah....i kinda knew she was testing me. but i'm just concerned about what kind of discipline is right or acceptable for a two year old.....i don't want to be too hard you know? if i'm being too hard then she might not know why mommy is so mad!!! lol...or maybe she does know and she's just being a little miss so and so!! ha ha ha ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 2:22 PM |
stern voice
time outs 1 minute per year- time out starts when she is sitting quietly in the time out spot.
actually I just googles and found a good page that would explain better then I would..lol
taking away things
are all appropriate for her age. Mind you taking away things may not faze her yet. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 2:22 PM |
here is a copy and paste
All parents seek disciplinary techniques that work. However, not all techniques work for all ages or for all children. Use this list as a guide for age-appropriate discipline.
Distraction. Infants (birth to 18 months) typically do not need strong disciplinary measures. When babies “misbehave” they are often exploring and testing their boundaries. Simply directing a baby’s attention elsewhere may solve the problem.
Time-Out. Many parents use time-out for all behaviors all the time. However, for time-out to work, it should be used as one tool in an arsenal of other discipline techniques for ages 2 to 8. Some basic guidelines for time-out include:
Make it short –– 1 minute for each year of your child’s age.
Eliminate reinforcers. Your child should not be able to play, watch television, etc.
Use a timer. Restart the time if your child leaves time-out.
Use other discipline techniques if time-out does not work.
Removal of privileges. Taking away toys, activities or outings can be an effective way to manage inappropriate behavior for children ages 18 months and older. To make sure this technique works for you:
Choose a meaningful privilege that your child will greatly miss.
Follow through on warnings to remove privileges.
Remove the item for a short amount of time (differs by age –– several hours for a 2-year-old but several days for a 12-year-old).
Natural consequences. Parents do not need to get involved in order for natural consequences to take effect. For example, if your child refuses to eat dinner, instead of developing a power struggle, allow her to go to bed without eating. She will naturally be hungry in the morning and will be certain to eat. (Appropriate for children 2 and older.)
Logical Consequences. This is a punishment that fits the crime. Suppose your child throws a ball in the house and breaks a vase. She could be asked to work off the value of the vase or use her allowance to buy a new one.
Spanking. Spanking typically works best with ages 2 to 6. It should be used only for specific, purposeful misbehavior and should never be done in anger. As with other techniques, spanking should be used as one of many discipline tools.
Track how well your discipline techniques work with an evaluation form ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 2:23 PM |
| for me, time outs and a stern voice worked well.......loss of privalages not so much at 2, seemed to work better when older. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 2:24 PM |
| also here it states spanking....I have no problem with spanking, but not for the normal testing things they do......I would spank for examle when my child ran out in the road.....etc...things like that. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 2:26 PM |
here is a good acticle
Your child will be as obedient as you expect, or as defiant as you allow. When we ask parents of obedient kids why their children obey, they all answer, "Because we expect them to." Simple as this sounds, many parents let this basic fact of discipline slip away. They are too busy, their child is "strong-willed;" they make excuses: "It's just a developmental phase."
In the early years children don't know what behavior is acceptable or unacceptable until you tell them. one evening at a kid-friendly restaurant, we observed two families handling the same discipline situation in two different ways. The two-and-a-half-year-old in one family was incessantly climbing over the back of the booth, and she kept this climbing behavior up until it became disruptive to nearby patrons. Wimpy "don'ts" from the parents did not deter the persistent climber. It was clear this child had no idea that climbing was unacceptable behavior. She got the message, "We prefer that you not climb, but we're not going to do anything about it."
Another two-and-a-half-year-old got a different message and showed different behavior. The parent sat the child next to him, frequently acknowledged the child, and kept him involved in the family conversation. As soon as the toddler began to climb, the father immediately redirected him and politely planted the climber back in his seat. With a combination of creative distraction and respectful restraint, the parent conveyed to the child that he was expected to refrain from climbing because climbing would disturb the people in the next booth. The child got the message that any effort to climb the seat would not be okay. The child filed this experience into his memory bank, to be retrieved the next time they went to a restaurant when, presumably, he made fewer attempts to climb over the seat.
Was the parent in the second family exhibiting controlling behavior? Yes, but in the right sense of the term. Abusive control is when you forcibly impose your will upon your child, expecting him to obey, but to the detriment of your relationship. When you insist on obedience and help the child to get control of himself, you are using your power over the child in a good way that helps him develop inner controls. Remember, children want limits so that they don't feel out of control, and they want parents to stand by those limits. They keep testing the limits to see if you will uphold them. When you don't, the child feels anxious that no one is strong enough to contain him. To a child, that is scary. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 9th, 2008 5:51 PM |
smack on the hand with a stern look into the eye NO!!!
worked more on my kids than the constant...trying to sit them in timeout...that I found far more exhausting...and only EVER worked for my daycare provider :-( ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 10:00 AM |
| I find a stern voice works well, especially with todays mums being so sweetie sweetie always light speaking. My sisters daughter is exactly just as you described, my sister also being so lightly spoking finally spoke up in a firm way to her daughter. It worked! WAHLAH!!! no more dishes on the floor. I have found... to many parents don't speak up to their kids and when they do... they feel bad and coddling them immediately after. My sister did that and nothing was happening except for more items being thrown around the house. Once my sister started coddling her she liked it and put together throwing things with a coddling so the firm reprimanding was no longer working. When she stopped coddling the throwing stopped. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 11:40 AM |
well she does get a stern voice quite often!!! lol.....the thing is, is it almost spurs her on even more. she has the most vile temper ever when it comes out. lol.....
this morning, she was grabbing Lex head and pushing it down...it's a good thing he's a big boy, or she could hurt him...anyways, I said a good firm loud NO....and she kept doing it....so I started to walk towards her and you know what she did? she gave him one last shove then ran away from me!!!! LITTLE BUGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was FUMING!!!!!!!!!! so I put her on the step (her naughty spot..lol) and she just freaked out....i was trying that thing that winn posted....the one minute per age thing, and if they start up again, he time gets reset.....well she wouldn't stop.....she just kept screaming and kicking on the step....for 30 minutes before I could start the timer!! lol.....she is just relentless man!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 11:44 AM |
| i have always done the stern voice, but it just doesn't seem to faze her....she'll stop when I start charging towards her, but as soon as I walk away again, she'll go right back to doing it!!! ↑ |
| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 11:50 AM |
Testing...testing...1, 2, 3, testing lol.
What all these ladies above me said is correct. A very firm NO and a tap on the hand never harmed any child. You have to show Anika who is the boss. I'm not a big advocate of spanking when it comes to a child acting like a child. BUT I do believe in a good swat on the behind to make sure they get the message loud and clear when they have done something that will endanger their lives. My son has had two spankings in his life. Once he ran out in front of a car at the mall and the other he hid from me for almost a 1/2 hour in a store. I'd like to go smack him again now for that last one lol. From what you have said on here I get the impression that your Anika is a stubborn little cuss. Breaking dishes and throwing food is nothing more than a temper tantrum designed to get her way. I would suggest you start putting down your foot right now before she really gets out of hand. She is a very smart little girl so she should get the message pretty quickly. The key is being firm and consistent. It's never too early for them to learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Have fun LOL! ↑ |
| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 11:51 AM |
| Then charge right back there and remove her from whatever it is that she is doing. You need to be more stubborn than her : )) ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 12:01 PM |
dawn...oh yeah...she's a big shit alright....but at the same time, she's a very sweet girl....that why i don't get how she can act the way she acts sometimes....it's like she possessed!!!! little devil child!!! then all sweet as pie!!! oh man i get in her face ALOT....but she just gives me this look like she doesn't comprehend or give a shit!! Lol....DRIVES ME NUTTY MAN!!!!!!!!
yep....being consistant is the key!! thanks everyone for your advice!! ↑ |
| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 1:42 PM |
| Hmmmm...think she takes after her mama a little?? LOL! ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 3:50 PM |
| LMAO!!!! yeah probably!!!!!! ha ha ha....i'm not the most patient person in the world!!! lets seeeeee.....I'm Swedish, Italian and Irish...not a good combo.....and hubby is 100% Russian.....poor little girl never had a chance!! lol ↑ |
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