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Name: fancy

[ Original Post ]

hi everyone today couldnt get worse but I had my soon to be 8 year old sons birthday party today and it started ok then everyone started to give my son his gifts first before the cake which I have never done that before but hey something new right? WRONG well I ended up cutting the cake and he my son didnt want any and wouldnt stay in the front of the house with everyone to eat cake he said he didnt want any well my mother in law spoke up saying he should put his gifts away and come eat some cake then my mom spoke up stating leave him alone hes on meds for adhd and no one understands if he dont want to eat he dont want to eat and watch out my three year might have adhd and see how everyone reacts to him if he wants to eat or not so my mom said to my dad who was eating cake when your done lets go and she went out side to wait but my mother in law also was stilling going at it when I cut in and said if he wants to play then let him go play if you all didnt give him his gifts no of this would be happening so my mother in law told my hubby to let him go play gosh I wanted to scream so my mom came back in and went into his room also my dad was in there and then my mother in law left and told hubby this is the last time she comes to a birthday party when my mom is around ok the way I feel is SO WHAT stop acting like a child my gosh grow up and act like grandmothers and the way I feel is this will be hurting the boys ones her real grandson the other two are from my first marriage which the birthday boy isnt her real grandon but my dad finally said they my mom and her need to grow up because you are going to hurt the kids not each other and I will tell them why one or the other arent showing up and they wont understand I dont understand why and really my hubby dont want to have no more parties and if it was his own which turn three last month would it be the same attitude any advice please ↓

Name: momof3 | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 3:58 AM

I am so sorry that it happened like that. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to tell them to grow up and get along. That your child is the important factor and that if they can't grow up they will not be invited to anything that you have. I had to do this with my parents, they are divorced and act like children. Maybe if they realize that they will miss out on things in his life they will stop. ↑

Name: fancy | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 4:23 AM

thanks but my mother in law told me tonight for now on she will not come back for any kind of party of any kind again and I know that will hurt my kids more then anything what can I do or tell them is the question with out putting her down my mom said nothing would have been said if she only didnt open her mouth about jeremy ( he is the birthday boy) my mom said jeremy and his brother andy have been through h** and she will not let anyone say anything about them two boys which I cant blam her if you know what I mean thanks for the advice ↑

Name: momof3 | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 1:22 PM

I am sorry to hear that. What did you husband say? Is your m.i.l. the type to try and get you to say somethig to your mother? ↑

Name: mspeachpit | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 2:12 PM

u should tell ur mother-in-law that if she doesnt want to be a part of the parties then she doesnt need to be a part of their lives at all. ↑

Name: Layne | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 2:30 PM

fancy- I know how you feel. as I have been dealing with adhd and add with my children for 24 years. You may never get your family to understand the day to day chore it is in dealing with it eother. I am 42 and I decided 2 years ago I wasnt going to expect my family to be understanding and thats when my life got easier. Yur mother inlaw and mother clearly are jealous of the fact that they have to share this grandmother experience. Im sure your son with his new gifts is oblivious to the fact. But what Im sorry about is that the mothers would be so insensitive to you and your husband. Let it go and the next time you plan a get together with both families you and your husband put your foot down on how you will be dealing with the day. because we do have to make a;llowances for our adhd children that they in no way can understand on a daily bases. Hang in there and dont let this bother you to much. ↑

Name: fancy | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 2:06 AM

hi ladies thanks for the advice m.i.l. is better today and my mom said she will be the big person and call her and say sorry but my mom said it made her mad when m.i.l said that Jeremy couldnt have any cake since he wont come in now to eat it but the funny part is hubbys getting blam for it from his own mom because he took the gifts away and closed their door and made them come in the living room for the party and hubbys mom said he should have left them alone but yesterday was a nightmare here which I hope everything is all done and over now any ways thank you all for everything ↑

Name: page_e | Date: Nov 17th, 2006 6:48 PM

Do you know what.... this sort of thing really pee's me off. (sorry)
When i had my first baby my MIL was really upset and a little jealous of my mother as we where so close and she wasn't with her son. she did and said all sorts of things to put my mother down.
She ate her words when my mum died of cancer a few years ago.
Since then my MIL has also died of Cancer and my son is left with no grandmother
So i would say to both of them to get over it and move on.
If they can't then you should...and just live for today! ↑