I'm not sure what my topic is. We have a 4 year old daughter who is in daycare. We work far from home and our days are long. We leave for work 6 30 am and get home 6 in the evening. I am having a terrible time trying to create any assemblance of a schedule when we're home.
In the evening, I'm so tired it's all I can do to make dinner, and get ready for bed. The problem I have is that once we get home all my daughter wants to do play. We play together, but she will not play by herself. I need time, sometimes, to do things. I know it sounds crazy. I know she misses me during the day and I do try to make time every day when we get home to play together for a little while, but it is as though she needs my undivided attention 24/7.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Even with my husband. He'll ask her to play games but she only wants me. I dont' know why see feels as though I'm never there? Even on the weekends when I try to schedule a day.. I'll get up early to try to organize so I can spend more time with her, but I find myself up at 6:30am playing boardgames and out in the backyard playing on the swings by 8am.
I feel like I sound horrible. I think I'm the insecure one. I feel like I've failed her and
I've never felt like such a failure before! I dont know what I'm doing wrong. How can every other mother in america have play time, nap time, quiet time. I cannot seem to establish that. ↓
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| Name: Princess | Date: Aug 8th, 2005 10:14 PM |
| I have a question. Can you ask your daughter if she misses mommy and what does she want from mommy? Kids will tell you what they want. Just something to start with maybe... ↑ |
| Name: Former Working Mom | Date: Aug 28th, 2005 5:32 PM |
| You're not going to want to hear this, but I think that one of you needs to spend more time with her. Either you quit working and downsize or you switch to the nightshift so that you can be home with her more hours during the day. She is telling you that the hour she spends with you is not enough. I speak from experience here. I was employed full time and things were OK until my little one got old enough to notice I wasn't there. Think about this, you have very little input into your daughter's upbringing. A stranger is raising your child. Now I understand the need to work, I've been there, but if there is any way you can cut back, switch times or quit, I would. She will be in school soon and as they get older they count on their friends more. You really have very little time left to put your values into your child. You have too much on your plate. Both my marriage and my children suffered when I was working full time. I wish I could go back in time and correct it, but I can't. You're daughter will be fine anyway, but think about cutting back and spending more time with her. JMHO ↑ |
| Name: Rebecca | Date: Aug 29th, 2005 9:38 PM |
| I feel your pain. I was a full time working mom and we tried so hard to make a routine for the kids but my husband works crazy hours and I would pick up the kids from daycare only to rush home, cook dinner, bath them and maybe find time to read them a book. My 2 hours at night with them was not enough and they were unhappy little ones. Now I work 3 nights a week out of the house and stay home. This is not my professional decison because I miss having a job and deadlines and meetings to fulfill part of my life but it is what works for my family. Good luck and part time work is really the easiest answer. ↑ |
| Name: Helen | Date: Aug 29th, 2005 11:35 PM |
| It sounds to me that you need some time to your self and time for you and your husband. I had a hard time getting my daughter to play with her dad, because she just wanted me. It was hard because she would cry the first couple of days when it was just them two playing. Now we dedicate a saturday and go to the park. I don't think you failed her, its normal your a working mom. Dose she have any family members of her age that can spend time playing with her. ↑ |
| Name: ghkghjkgh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 1:21 PM |
| Name: sonshine | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 5:48 PM |
| Forget about the Former Working Mom response. You are raising your daughter and you are the most important person in her life. It sounds like you just need to be able to switch gears better. Know what your're making for dinner in the morning then on your way home from work get in the nourishing mommy mode and find out about your daughter's day and give your daughter a big hug once you get home. Turn off the TV and keep talking to her while you are doing a few things. Through the week ask her what she'd like to do on the weekend and tell her you need a little time Saturday morning to do a few mommy things. You can do this and your daughter will love you for all your effort. Working moms have struggles all the time but keep your mind on your daughter's needs as much as possible when you are with her. The dirty dishes can wait until after her bedtime. ↑ |
| Name: Crystal | Date: Feb 27th, 2006 11:04 PM |
Hi Lynn
I Had The Same Problem With My Son And I Have Searched For Stay At Home Jobs And Things Along That Line Just To Try To Be Home With My Son And I Found This Place Called Arbonne And Figured I Would Give It A Try So I Joined Arbonne To Stay Home With My Son And Its Great Income But Its Not A Get Rich Fast Place But The Money Is There. I Don't Know If That Is Something You Might Injoy Or Not But You Can Take A Look At There Website And If You Have Any Questions I Would Be More Then Happy To Answer Them For You.
Thanks
God Bless
Crystal
www.arbonne.com ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi... | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 11:15 PM |
| There's nothing wrong with what you're doing...your her roll modle..& she wants to do everything just like you & be just like you...sometimes...chores can be playing with your kids...if you approach them right...try letting her help you unload the dishwasher...teach her how to put silverware & plastic cups away while you're doing plates & glasses...teach her how to fold towels...when you're putting laundry away...she can fold washclothes & towels...if you truely just need a break...give her the vaccume...she may truely get nothing done with it ...but can push it thinking she's helping you...or while you're doing something...get her a writing note pad...& let her practice her letters while you're doing what you want done...is hard having kids under your feet...feeling like you never get a break....I only work prn...some weeks work frequently some weeks don't work for weeks....my husband's gone for weeks on end...so...my break seems to be...from the time my kids go to bed...till I force myself to go to bed...praying for at least 5 or 6 hours of sleep... ↑ |
| Name: Cherylcd | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 12:51 AM |
Weekends,Weekends,Weekends,Weekends...
I have 4 kids Twins girls 4yo, 3yo boy, and a 9 year old and the weekends are our time together. I also work a full time job and I also go to school but online. I hardly have time for my kids but the weekends fully belongs to them.
During the week, I put in a movie so that I have can get some work done. We eat dinner together and have a ball.
I have created a schedule and I will share shortly. ↑ |
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