This time I'm referring to myself, not to the Chip. Oh, will I ever be normal again? Yesterday I felt like I regressed back 6 weeks of progress and was stuck in a first trimester twilight zone. It started on Wednesday evening before dinner, when I had a huge, painful gas bubble right in the pit of my stomach. Ginger ale, crackers, papaya extract, and even Tums offered little relief. I could've dealt with it if it were in the intestional track and needed to be, ah, forced out through the back, but no such luck. When I woke up Thursday morning, the gas was gone, but full on naseau had taken its place. Ugh. It's been several weeks since I had a bout with naseau, and this one was bad. I tried a preggy pop. Nope. Gayle at work suggested animal crackers, so I loaded up on those along with a delicious can of regular sprite. Ah, nothing like the glucose-laden taste of sprite to remind one of stomach virus days as a child. But amazingly, it worked, and by lunch the rabid beast that is my stomach these days was tamed.
As if my stomach problems weren't bad enough, I guess I needed to revisit the weepiness of days recently gone by as well. What a freaking SAP I was yesterday! It was ridiculous. First, I felt like bursting into tears when I didn't feel well in the a.m. This is a signature trait of mine that has held on since childhood. I remember a girl in my second grade class validating my illness to the teacher by saying, "You can always tell when Chantel doesn't feel well. She cries." Still true! I was biting back tears all morning. Later that afternoon, I was watching my favorite soap, Young and the Restless. The early labor of a pregnant character and the fear of her husband caused the tears to flow once more. Completely baffled at my self, I called out to Adam: "Honey, I'm crying at the Young and the Restless. Seriously!"
While watching a new favorite show, "Ugly Betty" last night, I felt tremendous sympathy for poor Betty who'd tried her best to make herself look nice, but people still made fun of her. This didn't make me cry, but I did feel rather depressed for awhile as my heart ached for our heroine. After the show, I got a tremendous craving for cinnamon graham crackers, which I mentioned to Adam. He absolutely insisted on going to buy them for me, even stopping in the middle of his studying. When he returned, I was all water works, overwhelmed with self-inflicted guilt over sending him the two miles to the store and interrupting his work. Being the wonderful husband he is, he just hugged me, assured me it was ok and that he didn't mind getting things for me. My job is to take care of chip. His job is to take care of me.
I know, what a guy! I am truly blessed.
Uh-oh, if I think too much about my blessings I'll be weeping again....
Until next time, the cookie's in the oven!
Chantel
2006-10-08 (16 weeks)
Thai Kickin' October 8, 2006
MMmmmmmmm, I love spicy food. I've always had a high tolerance for spice, and I think that's gone up a few notches since pregnancy. Amazingly too, I've had very little heartburn, even though I've been on prilosec for 4 years due to an acid reflux diagnosis in 2002. I guess pregnancy agrees with me in more ways than one! Last night "Aunt Sheramy" and I went out for THAI, which is one of my favorite genres of food. I ordered my basil chicken hot, and it did not disappoint. Apparently it did not disappoint Chip either because I felt movements late last night for the first time since the initial one-time kick at 12 weeks. As I lay in bed, I put my hands on my stomach and felt very distinct movements in my lower abdomen, and one really good pop right up against my hand. Maybe she felt the heat of my hand and went over to investigate? I don't know what got her moving, but I'm hoping this means she'll carry on the grand tradition of hot and spicy food in my family. I can picture her asking for some tabasco with her strained carrots one day.
Feeling the baby move is an incredible experience, and I can't wait to feel more as the weeks progress. It's kind of strange as well as it really drives home the reality that there is a living being growing inside of me. It's hard not to picture the scene in "Alien" when you first feel those little flutters. I know though we have a beautiful baby girl/boy baking inside though, not a slimy alien puppet with a 12 inch tail.
Until later... the cookie's in the oven.
2006-10-03 (15 weeks)
Androgyny Blues
October 3, 2006
My parents visited us this weekend armed with a plethera of androgynous baby gifts, with the promise of many more to come. We got a kick out of the tiny baby bathrobe and the baby sleepers in shades of mint green and pale yellow, but always lurking nearby was the question-- should future gifts be pink or blue??
My doc said we'll do the determine-the-sex ultrasound at 20 weeks, which is a mere month away at this point. People have asked me if I want to know the sex, to which I always reply, "What are you, new? Of COURSE I want to know! I MUST know! I NEED to know!" And more waiting ensues. I must admit, it'll certainly change my current thinking and interactions with my belly to know whether whom I am addressing is male or female.
The next question I always get is, "Do you want a boy or girl?" While the PC answer tends to be, "I want a healthy baby", since I've never been an overly PC person I shout the truth: I WANT A GIRL! This isn't to say I'll be devastated if chocolate chip is a boy because of course I will love this child if he/she were pink and purple striped, but yes, I've always dreamed of having a bonified mini-me, all the way down to the brown ponytail and keen tot fashion sense. So, I wait anxiously for the U/S and try to prepare myself mentally if it indeed turns out to be a boy.
My every instinct says it's a girl. Many signs have pointed to girldom as well, including a history of female dominance in both our families (both literally and figuratively!), an online old wivestale test that revealed my girl chances are 60%, and of course, the ancient Chinese gender calendar that affirmed we are baking a sugar cookie. The only thing that worries me is that my mom doesn't seem too sure; in fact, I think she secretly believes it's a boy but doesn't want to dash my hopes. My mom's instinct is usually dead-on, so I guess time will tell!
No, I won't be crushed if it does turn out to be a boy, but I will be a little disappointed initially and will need some time to adjust my thinking. I've been dreaming pink since I took the EPT, after all.
Speaking of that, I have to give my commentary on the pink/blue separation of babies in our society. Personally, I prefer blue to pink; I always have. However, the thought of dressing a baby girl in blue does not appeal to me. My sister wondered why a baby girl shouldn't be wear blue. My first thought was that she could wear blue, as long as it was a blue dress.Am I feeding into gender stereotypes, or do I just not want anyone to mistake Juliana for John? Would I be upset if my boy wants to play with Barbies or my girl wants to play with monster trucks? I don't know. I do know that I like the idea of a baby girl in pink. In my opinion she'll have her whole life to listen to my female empowerment speeches. Why not let her be cutesy while she's too little to understand what it all means anyway? Besides, little girl clothes are SO cute. Just check out that bunny bathrobe, for goodness sakes.
Until later... the cookie's in the oven.
Chantel
2006-09-28 (15 weeks)
Look at me from the side...
September 28, 2006
.... do I look different to you? Well at 15 weeks and 10 pounds of additional weight, I can't imagine I don't! Some people are more, shall we say, subtle at pointing out the extra load than others. I've been worried about my weight gain anyway (even though Doc says I shouldn't), and it only amplifies the concern when people at work are joking that I must be having twins because I'm showing so much. Etiquette should say never joke with a pregnant lady about her weight gain, but some people appeared to have missed that memo. Luckily, it seems most of the weight is concentrated in the front, so at least I'm not on the road to resembling prenatal Britney Spears.
I feel relieved to officially be in the second trimester now, and even more thrilled that naseau and fatigue have dearly departed. The emotional onslaughts still remain though in full force. Let's recall what has caused Little Mommy (as my mom affectionally calls me) to shed tears as of late....
1) An article on babycenter.com about the stages of labor. Oddly, that was more tears of sap than tears of fear, even when I got to the part about my privates tearing.
2) Holding a friend's newborn. Now that was more fear than sap. I felt a little helpless and overwhelmed at the prospect of being the one that gets the baby back when she starts crying. yikes.
3) A dream that I smoked a cigarette and the overwhelming guilt it caused. I woke up actually believing I had done it. No one ever mentioned that pregnancy causes such vivid dreams. I've had many.
4) The movie "Selena". I've seen the damn thing a dozen times, and it's not exactly a surprise ending that our heroine gets offed in the end. Still choked me up though.
5) An email from Adam's aunt Diane describing a dream his cousin had about our Bill. In the dream Becky says she saw Bill making pancakes, and he spelled out "enjoy life" in chocolate chips. Two days later, I got a fortune cookie at my favorite Asian restaurant (PF Changs) that read, "You have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life". I saved that fortune and am looking at it right now, which is tearing me up. This isn't really a pregnancy thing though-- it's a human thing. I loved Bill and miss him. I wish he was here to see his newest grandchild.
