Hello, guest
Name: Joanne
[ Original Post ]
My daughter was diagnosed with ADD in grade three. She was on Ritalin for a brief time but because of pressure from family members, I took her off. She is doing ok in school. My problem is that I can not get her to do anything around the house and she can not even handle simple jobs (that my 5 year old can do and he is definitely, definitely hyper!!!). I have four children, her the eldest and the younger children seemed to have passed her in maturity. She cannot do a task unless it is broken down in to minute steps and only two or three steps at a time. This is getting ridiculous. She does not clean up after herself and removing priviledges doesn't seem to matter as I have joint custody and removal of priviledges does't carry over to her dad's house. She is snotty to her siblings and argues as though she is the same age (4 and 5). I am at a loss what to do with her.
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Name: cody | Date: Apr 30th, 2006 4:13 AM
im sorry that you have add i will pray for you evry nite along with my cousine that has a virus in the brain at age 2 

Name: ghay | Date: May 10th, 2006 9:49 AM
i have a 10 yr old autistic nephew..until now he acting like a 6-7 yr old, but we kept telling him that he is no longer a baby thats why he have to act like a big boy,,, we give him some task like fixing his bed , wash his plate after eating. and he did it ( but not all the time). i think you just need to talk to her eye to eye and tell her that she's no longer a baby 

Name: emt71 | Date: May 13th, 2006 9:29 PM
my niece is like that she is 13 also I think it just puberty 

Name: allyson | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 7:41 PM
i am the 13 girl with adhd and i wish i did not have it 

Name: deborah | Date: Jun 21st, 2006 3:55 AM
My daughter is 14 and I have similiar issues. I have only just put my daughter on ritalin and feel terrible for doing so. Lots of pressure from family. However I am starting to see changes and less defiance. I also noticed in the last year her younger sibling aged 12 seemed to be passing her in maturity. She is a typical 12 yr old messy room but at least we can reason with her. It is frustrating to have a child in a young adults body ???Before putting her on medication I tried removal of priviledges to no avail only more anger and also plenty of discussion doesnt make a difference. It must be frustrating for them as well as they dont understand why they are like it and my daughter thinks that we think she is "mental" (her words) because of her actions and the fact she is taking medication. I am trying baby steps with medication and hopefully we can start to rebuild her thinking and everything will get a bit easier. Recently I have been reading articles on Fish OIl tablets and these seem to be working well with children aged up to 12 This might be worth a try. 

Name: Jade | Date: Jun 25th, 2006 5:08 AM
hi. i was doing a search for a chat room and this came up instaed. i am sorry for your daughter. really am.

Name: Kim Mori | Date: Jun 29th, 2006 3:26 AM
To Hell with the family members, I say! Are they there to help when she is hard to deal with, most cases that's a no! Your the mother, you do what you think is the best thing for your daughter! And the house work, don't worry about it, it's not as if the Queens coming over, or is she?LOL
And about the younger children passing her in life, don't be so hard on yourself and her, that's the way it is, just try to be happy ,I know it's hard but if you don't laugh, you cry!

Name: iamlisa | Date: Aug 1st, 2006 7:10 PM
put her back on meds, dont listen to others and do you and your child a favor by helping her to have a producive life,she never will grow out of this . is this what you want for her life ? other people dont understand this disease. its relentless and will desroy yours and her life if shes not medicated. Take it from a 41 year old woman whos had it her whole life and its been hell. now im medicated and it seems like for the first itme i can function like normal. i also have a 5 year old with it and i had to listen to the garbage everyone threw at me about putting my son on meds, but he couldnt do anything or go anywhere without being on them . i figure id rather five him a happy life and a fighting chance than to worry about what others say. Im sure you feel the same about your daughter, and i would do it soon, kids that are not medicated for this disease, are more likely to "self medicate". Not good . please help her ,i know you can do it!!!! 

Name: Kitty | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 6:37 AM
In my opinion, you should let family member decide what is best for your child. My son is on medicine which was a very hard decision but we made it because he need help focusing. He has a younger brother which at 4 could sit and focus better than him at 8. Things didnt' improve for him until be but him on medicine in the 5th grade. Now that he is on medicine it allows him to be able to sit and read a book, he could never do that before. It wasn't because he didn't want to, he just couldn't control himself. I use to yell at him to sit still and concentrate.

Think of it this way, if your son need insolin (spelled wrong) you wouldn't not give it do him because your family members dont' agree. I am not saying that you have to give your son medicine but make the decision what you think is best for him not what other people think. You know what's best for him. 

Name: ADDGIRL | Date: Jul 4th, 2007 2:23 AM
I have ADHD- and I can tell you once your daughter takes medication, now that she is older and can see the difference, she'll thank you. I didn't take medication until I was older, my parents are doctors and didn't want to drug me to the point that I couldn't function - this was 15 years ago and most everyone took Ritalin.
My point is I started taking medication when I was your daughter's age. I finally had a feeling of what it was like to be able to pay attention for a little while. My mom used to write down my task list for me - and I had til the end of the week to get them done...this worked great for me and there was a lot less arguing.
Part of having ADHD/ADD is being less mature than your peers. Having little self - restraint, and being moody - it doesn't help that she's 13. The other thing my mom did was put up post-it reminders of things I needed to do, in places I would find them. It's a tough road, but trust me, she'd prefer to be able to finish the tasks, remember them, and stay on task more than you could ever want her to be able to do this.
There are a lot of great books out there about ADD/ADHD and the CHADD website has support groups for parents and kids - and it's free! It's a great resource. 

Name: ADDGIRL | Date: Jul 4th, 2007 2:31 AM
This magazine is online and has great information written for people with ADD and their families....and they have a lot of online resources as well as a store.


Name: mar22 | Date: Jul 7th, 2007 10:48 PM
sounds like there might be more going on , have you had her short term memory tested, and a physychoeducationl testing done to rule out other issues, i feel this is more than just adhd hope all the best for you good luck 

Name: Crystal1975 | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 8:45 PM
I am so sorry for you & your daughter. My son is 9 and adhd he is also diagnosed with o.d.d. oppisit defiant disorder. He (at age 9) is also likeyour daughter. I can only imagine how it feels to have my brain going 100mph and my body can't keep up. It would have to be terrible. I too have to repeat everything in baby steps to my son. it is very frustrating, but i also look at how frustrated he gets not being able to comprehend simple task with instructions. he gt very angry at himself as well. His teacher ask me if I would have him tested for audio processing disabilities, i told her if she thaought it would help him. It is a problem ith hearing what is told to you, but no being able to follow through because it is not comprehended into the brain like it should be so everything has to be broken down. the medication is none of your families bussiness. they don't have to know what you do with your child especially if it is to benefit your child 

Name: Toni | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 8:34 PM
Heyaa i fink you should just try and help her because its not realy her fault and you shud be pasient with her 

Name: jamie cann | Date: Jul 14th, 2007 11:17 AM
im a 13 year old boy i ave adhd i have took ritalin since i was 6 years old in te year 2000 i can tell u i ate taking ritalini tried exycem xl but it didnt work i do admit ritalin does help.
when your daughter does sometink good praise her and give her a present not all te time but now and again when she does something bad punish her when she wont do somethink you tell her dont speak to her dont communicate to her so she feels bad and she would do it 

Name: salnea | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 6:43 PM
hi my name is slaena i have add to i am sorry that you have to have it i will pray for you 

Name: livegreeneasy | Date: Aug 14th, 2007 2:29 AM
What i have found to work is to make sure you give her a very short list of things to do. 1-2 items at a time. Kids with add get over whelmed very easily. That age group has a hard time focusing reguardless. changing the diet and removing toxic products from your home is a start.www.livegreeneasy.com 

Name: Micahel | Date: Aug 24th, 2007 12:47 PM

Name: katie | Date: Aug 25th, 2007 9:52 PM

Name: nikki sams | Date: Aug 26th, 2007 9:59 PM
im add and i wish i didnt have it and i hate it im not medicadted for it and i love sports and country music im a huge fan lonestar 

Name: hottie 12 | Date: Aug 27th, 2007 10:50 PM

Name: Jake Nobile | Date: Aug 27th, 2007 10:59 PM
hi my name is jake can i chat with a 13 year old plez that lives in fresno california plez.... 

Name: nat | Date: Aug 29th, 2007 6:37 AM
im 13 

Name: sheridan | Date: Sep 13th, 2007 9:26 PM

Name: taybry | Date: Sep 18th, 2007 11:24 PM
Joanne, My daughter is 10 and I had alot of the same issues with mine.I tried metadate ,Concerta. They both worked, but the withdrawal issues were horrrible. She is now on the 20mg patch of Daytrana, she has no withdrawal and her personality is like night and day. I would suggest that, it is normally a 9 hour patch and we take it off when we want to. Its slow release thru the skin. Maybe try that, because that is something she can control, even when you are not there. 

Name: zeyad | Date: Oct 1st, 2007 12:12 PM
can you add me 

Name: omar | Date: Oct 4th, 2007 3:55 PM
i am 12 years old 

Name: Elizabeth O'Neal | Date: Oct 7th, 2007 5:20 AM
Ive always had the same problem with my 13 year old inattentive ADD son. You need to remember, they're not trying to do this. Their brains have so much other commotion going on in their heads that without medication it's like trying to look through a foggy window to make out all the details. What Ive noticed seems to work is for him to take the medication at the same time every day. Fill out a graph system where you write down her routine of what she needs to do every day throughout a seven day week period Monday through Friday (make it simple). List each task according to time intervals under that day. Give them 10 cents for every task finished that day and tell them at the end of the week it can go for Pizza and movie night on Fridays (or whenever) accordingg to however much money they made. If you had 13 tasks in one day that would average out to 7 days times 1.30 = $9.10 possible. and include that with a sibling so the child with ADD doesn't feel singled out. That way they can try and make as much money for their Friday night as possible working as a team and you can get some help with the housework that Im sure you're in need of. Take the graph to the husbands house if need be and tell him what the problem is, Im sure he'd be happy to have teamwork at his house as well. So many parents try to win over their children's love after divorce, but if you explain that this only hinders children instead of helping them, Im sure he'd be more than willing to work as a team. Get him involved in the care of your child and take him to the Pediatricain with you if possible or give him a report of what was said and get him excited about improvements in your child's care. If your younger children are passing her up in maturity, that could be scarey because she may become depressed as well. If the Grandparents are the ones nudging you to stop medication take them with you to the Pediatrician's office and have them fill out a Vanderbuilt scale after having them help your child with homework. If they refuse then they have no right to have any say in her care. Having to break down a task is normal when they aren't on medication, but imagine what it's like for her to try and focus in class and absorb all that information. What kind of a job will she find when she is older if that be the case?? Prepare her now for her future and pay close attention to both her progress and her setbacks. Only you and her teachers will know whether she needs a boost in meds and self-esteem. No one else unless they make a committment to be there. I had my son in a private catholic school of ten children per class (best thing I ever did for his ADD). Now he is in a very large Middle school. He is going through puberty and is thriving socially, but his grades have dropped significantly even though his I.Q was in the 95th percentile of the nation when he was 9 years old. I'm scared, but I know without the medications he would be scared and his self esteem would be next to nill (and from what Ive seen there's nothing more important than preserving their self esteem/confidence). It doesn't matter who they are, where they're from or what their grades are or where they go to school. Where I got lucky in school is having a teacher that could relate to him for two full years and knew by instinct what he needed which was an act of God. I'm making sure now that each teacher knows he doesn't have any behavior problems (because the stigma is so evidently out there), but just has a daydreaming problem and to let me know if they notice any changes especially with puberty in full swing. Im going to try and pick out just a few teachers so that they don't all have to know, but I don't know how long that will last. 

Name: kris10 | Date: Oct 13th, 2007 12:15 PM

Name: Mickie_James | Date: Oct 13th, 2007 10:39 PM
hey you watch wrestling 

Name: ROSY | Date: Oct 14th, 2007 2:40 AM

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