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Name: flare2005
[ Original Post ]
Hi everyone! My son was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD in grade 3. He is one of six of my children. It has been a long and hard struggle with the school and on myself. Everything pretty much started in grade 1, I tried to have him tested but didn't get it until he was near the end of grade 3, he's been to a behavioural class and did very well. He was only there for a short period and did a complete turn around until he was sent back to his home school and fell back into the same patterns, he is now in grade 7, not sure how he got there cause he did nothing last year. I've worked with different agencies and am on different waiting lists for other programs. Who knows how long that will take. Now he does nothing, I can't get him to participate in anything, he only goes to school half a day and they call constantly, he's on ritalin and respiradal, I haven't noticed any change really. I'm confused and frustrated, sometimes I feel like I want to leave but then if I do who's going to take care of him. Sometimes I wish there was someone to talk to who's been through what I am going through right now. Sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is right and do I really understand what this is. Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles with this issue. It's such a long topic. Can someone help? Am I doing something wrong or do I not understand it correctly?
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Name: shanak10 | Date: Nov 26th, 2006 3:46 PM
Flare,
I know how difficult it is to deal with special need children. Did you know that you can help your child drastically by removing all the toxics and chemicals from your home? Do you know that it is not expensive to do that and that it is proven to work? If you need more help pleas email me at [email protected]
Good luck,
Shoshana 

Name: jennys | Date: Nov 27th, 2006 6:38 PM
ikown my friends mom son has the same thing 

Name: teresa | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 1:16 PM
Hey flare2005, my daughter is in the 4th grade and takes strattera for ADHD. I know exactly how you feel. Most of the time I wonder what it is I'm doing wrong, but I have come to realize it's not me, it's her. I have recently put her into counseling because I am at the end of my rope and don't know what else to do. I feel like you most of the time, wanting to leave but you're right, who is going to take care of them if we are gone. I'm hoping that counseling will do something for us. Only time will tell. If you want to talk you can email me at [email protected] 

Name: taybry | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 8:35 PM
Teresa, Is Strattera the non-stimulant 24 hour one. taylor is on Daytrana, but I hate the side effects of weight loss? 

Name: Yawmom | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 12:27 AM
There are laws that the school has to comply with if you file the paperwork correctly.
Ask for him to be tested if he hasn't been already. There is a 5041 Plan which requires the school to help a "disabled child" of sorts. You can make the requests and they need to follow them , within reason of course.
Look it up on the net.
For instance I asked that he gets more time to do his work, if he can't concentrate on reading then he can't grasp the concept because he's focused on the vocabulary.
They also set him up with an "office" which was a 3 sided partition on his desk so that he wouldn't get distracted .
I asked that he got his tests verbally rather than him reading, which they complied.
It's a law and the teachers either don't offer the plan or don't want to deal with it.
As far as getting frustrated, whether a child has ADD or "normal" they are frustrating people. But I hear ya. It's hard to grasp that they don't understand or you think they don't try.
There are so many great books out there, you need to read and educate yourself.
Do a searh on line, there's groups that can offer support too.
Deep breaths and prayers! 

Name: tiredmom | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:15 AM
My son is also add/odd and in grade three. i felt like i was just reading something i wrote. i would love to be able to help you. I have no answered just wanted you to know that you are not alone. i read all the people who suggest homeopathic treatment and diet and all kids of other things.. every kid is diffrent you will find somthing that works. i love my son and you love yours...i keep reminding myself that he dosent like being the way he is anymore than i do and i am sure your boy feels the same way. stay strong. 


Name: mn-mom | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:50 AM
Has he tried other medications other than ritalin and respiradal? Since you haven't noticed much change, perhaps you should consider other medications. I know for many it takes quite a bit of testing with medications before they come up with the one(s) that work. Also, I'm not sure what your situation is, but I take my son to a social worker who specializes in working with ADHD/ODD kids. They help come up with age-appropriate ways to use positive reinforcement for desired behavior. These kids need ten times more positive reinforcement than the "average" kid, since their self-esteem is usually pretty low. My insurance covers it. Might be an option rather than waiting for agencies to respond...just a thought. 

Name: flare2005 | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:53 PM
yesterday I sat and talked with a family preservation worker and we came up with a list of things to do...so now it feels like start all over again. I am getting my self involved with the learning disabilities association of Ontario...I am in Canada. I'm not sure if the education laws are the same as the states. I am so against medication, but I did decide to try it so he's only been on the medication for about a month and a half, so I don't know it I would see results right away or in time but for now I've noticed nothing. Now hes says things like " I'm on drugs" and I know with the proper help he did great, he was a different kid, but now that he's in grade 7 the special education department is telling me there is no programs for him because the programs are for primary grades and he's not a primary grade. He also told me this morning before he left that the school will ask him almost everyday if he took his medication and they tell him to remember to take it every day so he won't have bad days. I was shocked...I would think that its not very positive to ask him that...kind of like a reminder of the bad days he did have. What do you think? It is kind of nice to read what people have to say and read their stories, knowing that I'm not alone. This is the first forum I've ever joined, so I'm not too sure how everything works...Can I write on here everyday if I want...its nice to be able to talk about it especially with people who are going through the same thing. 

Name: mn-mom | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:45 PM
I would have an informal chat with the school letting them know that you will be sure that he gets his medication and ask them not to remind your son about it because it only points out the negative rather than the positive. Ask them to really look hard for anything positive he does and verbally praise him, or put a hand on his shoulder saying he's doing great, etc. If you've taken psychology classes, you will remember that people will behave the way you expect them to (self-fulfilling prophecy). So, if you keep pointing out the positive (some days it's REALLY hard to do, I'll admit), eventually they will believe it about themselves. 

Name: mn-mom | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:49 PM
Also, that type of behavior modification works best for the ODD since that's more of a behavioral problem. All of the things I've researched says that for the ADHD part, a combination of medication and behavior therapy works best since the ADHD is more biological in nature. As I mentioned, if the ritalin doesn't seem to help, I would ask your doctor for another suggestion for medication. Everyone reacts so differently!! 

Name: teresa | Date: Dec 1st, 2006 1:38 PM
hey taybry, stattera is a non-stimulant 24 hour medication. My daughter has been on this for over a year and there have been no problems with eating or sleeping, however, I don't think it's working anymore. My daughters behavior has gotten more agressive and hateful the last couple of months along with her grades dropping drastically. I was very happy with the Strattera for about a year but I believe we are going to have to try a change in medication before they have to put my in the pschy center. Talk to your doctor about it, every child is different and reacts differently to to meds and it did work really well for me for a year. 

Name: mar22 | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 3:37 AM
almost sounds like he needs to go back to th behaviour class if he does well their why not keep him their, maybe there routines are more suited to his needs. stay strong and good luck 

Name: JJJWKT | Date: Dec 3rd, 2006 3:45 AM
Boy, do I know how tired you are. Having to stay two steps ahead of the game. Your doing everything right as a mom. Trust your intsinct...I have to go my baby is crying and husband isn't handling it well. 

Name: biker | Date: Dec 5th, 2006 3:15 PM
hi ur not doin anything wrong; its hard i know i have 2 of my 4 children with adhd and other problems 

Name: Angelgirl | Date: Dec 6th, 2006 4:58 AM
Hi, Sounds like the Ritalin isn't working.
Ask the doctor to try another medication.

There is Focalin XR, Adderall, Concerta are a few to consider. He probably need a stronger dose also, maybe 15mg in the morning and 5 or 10mg in the afternoon.
I recently had the doctor up my son's medication. The 10mg worked good for awhile, then I noticed alot of his "old" behavior trying to come back. Now he takes 15 mg in the morning and 2.5 in the afternoon. He is in the 4th grade.

Since starting the Focalin XR my son brought home straight A's and B's and no marks in the behavior. That's a total change from last year, where he was almost retained.

I think if your son changes medication you will see a different boy. I know I did with my son.

Focalin XR will help him to focus and want to participate in activities, and actually do his classwork and homework.

I also found out that after school programs are very good for children with ADHD/ODD. They need to be doing something like basketball, football, baseball, soccer or just riding their bike.
I hope this helps.
It will work out, just trust God and he will help you. Just pray about it. :) 

Name: flare2005 | Date: Dec 7th, 2006 2:54 PM
Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded with advice. I'm really glad I found this website. I am seeking help and I hope everything goes good for everyone else.

Thank you all so much. 

Name: adp | Date: Mar 16th, 2007 11:35 PM
Have you tryed focalin along with resperdal? if the meds are not working then tell Dr. or therpist its not working I had to change therpist before meds got changed by Dr. 

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