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Name: babymomma
[ Original Post ]
My step son has the same problems as most of the kids I've read about here.He needs constant "redirection", nothing in front of or around him to distract him. He has to be heavily supervised with pens and markers- they'll suddenly statr coloring in his fingers, face or whatever surface is near by! He's 8.He honestly does not know what his hands are doing! Luckily, we live in an excellent school district. His teacher and the guidance counsoler have us on speed dial! The poor child has no friends at school. He is one of the "class clowns" so all the kids know his name, but no one will play with him or sit with him at lunch.He gets picked on by the kids, made fun of, all the usual sandbox politics.There are a few understanding children who will be nice and talk to him for a while, but they won't get too close. He displays almost psychotic symptoms. Talking to himself constantly, percieving others as picking fights with him when he is really the one instigating (but not meaning to, just doesn't see it as mean or confrontational!) We are just starting treatment. no meds, just alot of rigid work. We are going to begin chiropractic and look more into suppliments like fish oil. The kid's troubles are compounded by a junkie prostitute mother who just has no 'routine' no proper bedtime, doesent bring them back home at the agreed time, won't take them to school, and has exposed them to very violent situations. Consistancy is so important for kids like him, but we simply don't know how to get the mother to be, well, more consistant. Are there any divorced parents out there who have gone thru custody proceedings with an ADHD kid? How do you help them thru it?When he is "symptomatic", he is oppositional, defiant, argumentative and completely unreasonable.He will get violent with smaller children and mouthy with bigger kids.We know the boys love their mom, and she loves them, but we just can't let these things continue.
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Name: trasca | Date: May 22nd, 2009 1:42 PM
Hi Babymomma,
I dont like your chances with this boy if he is constantly going back to his mother. I know this sounds harse but he may be better of you. You do sound like you have the right idea and yes these children do have to be supervised all the time and redirected to do the right thing. I am divorced with a son who is 16yrs old now and luckly for me his father and I have a good relationship so I know this is different. we have or should I say I have worked very hard to get to where we are now,but may I add that someone like your self who is willing to try and give him the best and interact with the school for him can only be a good thing.is he on any medication? not that this is always the answer of course because home life when not with you would be very upsetting to this poor confussed child.
I am mot sure where ou are located as I am in australia but peraps you may need to get some advise from child welfare if he is being exposed to the wrong thing as this will not sit well with him when older. yes I am sure his mother loves him is just thinking of her self and not the child. I also have another child 6yrs old and I was sad to hear one of the little boys in my sons class has just been taken away from his mother for similar reason as you have stated and now he lives with his grandmother while she is trying to rebuild this little life.I know the child and he is such a special kid with a few problems not adhd so when these children with adhd are exposed to anything but love and understanding only do a 360 and go the wrong way.look I may not have helped much but please leave a reply if you would like to chat further and I shall get back to you good luck and god bless you for caring. 

Name: trasca | Date: May 22nd, 2009 1:47 PM
PS: just be there for him and tell him you love him and constantly remind him how special he is. his confidence must be very low and praising him for the smallest of efforts that he puts in is a great thing. good luck 

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