I have a grandson who has had ADHD/impulsivness since he was about 2. He has also had a very hard life because his mother left him and his father was a single parent. The problem I have is his step-mother. She is very, very strict, is alway griping at my grandson for every move he makes, pays no attention to him when he is talking, forgets he is 13 yrs old, not an adult and so on and so on. I don't know what to do anymore. Anytime my grandson gets into trouble at home, by daughter-in-law will take something away that he enjoys. For instance, she bought him a stereo for Christmas. My son told her if she was just going to take it away from him, not to buy it. She did anyway, and the first time he got in trouble, she took it away and has not gotten it back (it has been gone for at least 6 months). I got him a game system for Christmas, he got in trouble and she took it away. He got a guitar for his birthday in June, she took it away and he has not gotten any of them back. My grandson has been wanting a guitar, and he can also sing very well.
The incident that made me come to this chat room, happened today. For some reason, my grandson and my daughter-in-law got into it today after school over chores. Thing is, she does not know when to stop when she is yelling at him. He has an anger problem, and she knows this, but it's like she enjoys getting him so mad that he stomps off to his room, starts yelling things to hurt people, and the last 2 times this has happened, he has punched a hole in his bedroom wall. He has to go to his room every day after school, so they don't fight.
I have 2 other grandchildren who are "normal" by this lady and she worships them.
I have tried to tell my son to get help for his anger and that his wife needs to grow up. My grandson does not want to live at home. He wants to live anywhere so he does not have to be around her.
My grandson's mother only sees him every other month at the most, and I know that bothers him. Somtime I think that is why he takes alot of stuff out on my daughter in law, but she just will not leave him alone. \
I know he is not perfect, and there are times he deserves to be in trouble and punished, but not on a daily basis. I also don't want to put my son in the middle of all of this because he loves them all.
They do see a psychiatrist every other week, and I guess now they are working on the little issues that my daughter in law has with my grandson, but I know there is no love there.
What do I do? I can't stand to see him mistreated all the time. He is taking Concerta, and it seems to do pretty good. ↓