Hello, guest
|
Name: maribel
[ Original Post ]
my roommates son is 8 years old and had ADHD We can't go do anything because he's out of controll and he dosen't care he's really disrpespctful does anyone have any suggestions.
Your Name


captcha

Your Reply here


 
Name: Leah | Date: Jun 19th, 2005 8:30 PM
"Disrespectful" claims always make me look first to myself...do I treat the child respectfully? Do I treat him how I want to be treated (within reason as this is still a child we're talking about)? Do I listen and respond? Do I acknowledge their comments and feelings.

OK so all that sounds nice, doesn't it? Well, I do it because it's ammo for combatting smart mouths and rudeness. How else can I say "Hey! Look at yourself and how you treated me (or someone)...I don't do that to you!" I try to stay away from "How would you like it if..." statements because I don't think it hits home as well.

Work with a doc to get his hyper and impulsive behaviour under control. Keep a behavior log so you can say something better than "out of control". Note where the behavior happens ("The kid goes nuts when we go into crowded places or big stores! Runs aways, doesn't listen, can't keep his hands off of anything, etc.")

If it's truly ADHD, then you can't blame the kid for their behavior (too much - but disrespect is not an option). If it's just lazy parenting (where someone has allowed the kid to be the way he is without appropriate intervention) then there's a long row to hoe ahead. Kids are remarkably resilient but they are creatures of their environment. 

Name: scott | Date: Jun 29th, 2005 6:49 PM
i think my child may have adhd wer not sure hes very hyper makes funny noises for no reason talks constantly cant concentrate it is worrying me can anyone help 

Name: nemrac | Date: Jul 27th, 2005 12:06 AM
I think many families with ADHD start out with out of control kids. Frankly, we don't know how to parent these kids, and we never expected out of control kids. I think these out of control kids really control the family.

First, the parent has to decide that the child will no longer control this family. Unfortunately, you aren't the parent. Second, decide on a strong method of discipline (not punishment). The book 1, 2, 3 Magic! really helped us when we were at this stage. Third, it gets worse before it gets better. No one ever wants to give up control - this child won't either.

I mention punishment. These kids seem to react negatively to punishment. I'm sure you've heard not to spank these kids. There's a reason. I describe it as a downward spiral. Yelling isn't good either (I know from experience that it's hard not to yell at these kids).

Read up on ADHD so you truly understand what it is. This helps with the frustration level. It also helps you to love and appreciate these kids more. I still get frustrated, even though I know my son can't help certain behaviors. My hubby and I try to remind each other that that's just how he is. I recently told my husband to ask me daily if I've been patient with my son. This doesn't mean the child shouldn't be held to certain standards and that there aren't consequences to behavior, but it might help you remain calm while disciplining.

My son was 6 when we decided to take control as parents. We used to have more bad days than good. He's 10 now, and we still have bad moments, but not entire days that are bad.

Last, this isn't a quick process. If you're consistent, the hardest part will be over in 3-4 weeks. It took years to get where we are, and we're still working on improvements.

Leah mentions lazy parenting. I believe that we have to learn to be better parents than the average parents. Things that might work on other children from the beginning might now work with our kids. Have you ever tried to calm your child with a stern look? Our kids normally have to be removed from the situation to calm down.

We've been helped by some therapists. We've also had some that didn't help at all. If you find a good one, they can help with "behavior modification". 

Name: Rachael Butler | Date: Sep 8th, 2005 2:46 AM
I want to know if anyone knows of a special school to send out of control kids to. My son is ten and I can not control him anymore. Please post if you know of anything. 

Name: marie | Date: Sep 28th, 2005 12:59 PM
MY child is out of control she 11 years but thinks she 18 dont know when to call home stay out late at night, She ADHD & blopoar People have told me over &over to call the court & have her taken from the house I'm a single mom 2 other boys &one on the way Yes she is my only girl & middle child I love her &cant call the courts & do this to her but then I dont want any thing to happen to her. I'm prayin she will just get better & be my little Angle 

Copyright 2024© babycrowd.com. All rights reserved.
Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Forums | Advertise With Us