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Name: zbgmsmom
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I have a eight year old son diagnosed in the fall with adhd but we have our doubts or maybe our hopes of misdiagosed. He does not have social problems yet but I am afraid they may come. He gets along well at school socially but he does not do his work. He usually just bothers himself and not others but he does hardly anything at school and has to do it at home when he remembers to bring it home. We are at a loss as of what to do to get him to care. We take things away it does not work. He has no passion to take away. He will tell you he does not like to work and basically he doesn't. How do you get him to care and to do work. We do not have him on meds and do not want to do that route if possible. He is doing all right in school but that seems to be going down hill because the teacher is expecting him to be like the others and get his work done. My husband and I are new to this and have no idea what to try and do! We have three younger daughters that need attention too and right now he gets all his fathers attention every night to get homework done. We want him to be successful and have him in educational therapy NILD but not sure it is doing any good. We need coping techniques for right now. It drives me to migraines because I just don't understand him or what to do with him.
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Name: KathyK | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 3:45 PM
zbgmsmom,
I understand what you are going through. I have a 5 year old boy with a.d.h.d. and o.d.d. He was diagnosed at age 4 and has been on medication for almost a year. He was in regular kindergarten but had to be transfered to transitional kindergarten which is a smaller, slower paced class. He had problems keeping up with the other kids and does seem to be doing a little better in this class. He does although forget to bring his papers home and sometimes doesn't finish his work at school, so when he remembers to he brings it home and we finish it at home. It does take a while for him to finish it sometimes, but he is not allowed to get up and play or do anything until his homework is done. It is hard to keep him on task as well for very long.
I find that when I get down in his face and ask him to look at me while I am talking to him it helps. I have started a reward system for him for when he does something he is asked to do. I have started giving him tokens for all of his good behavior. He likes working for a reward, which helps us not fight so much. It is alot of work but it is worth it if you can keep it up. I also have another child a daughter who is 7 and she feels it when he is getting more attention than her. It is hard to juggle the time between both kids but if your husband is working with your son than maybe you can spend that time with your daughters. I know it is tough and tiring, but that is what my husband and I try to do and it seems to work. I wish you luck and hope things get better soon. 

Name: zbgmsmom | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 6:47 PM
Thanks, we have read where it says to give breaks but when we give him a break we never get him back to do more but I hate to make him sit there for hours. It is good to know you make him sit and do work. It is so frustrating. He says I am going to do my work well today and it works for about 30 minutes and then it is back to usual (me pulling my hair out). 

Name: KathyK | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 7:43 PM
zbgmsmom,
I know how frustrating it is when they don't like to sit still to do their work. I do have to fight him sometimes, but everytime he gets up I just put him back in the chair. I also tell him he will not get to watch cartoons, or play with any of his toys until his homework is done. There are some good days and some bad days. But I just got back from taking him to school and the teacher told me that he is beginning to show signs of o.c.d. at school. She asked him to do some cutting and pasting and he did not want to do it because he was so worried about getting glue all over his hands. He tol her he wanted to wash his hands and even when she raised her voice to make sure he heard her he wouldn't do it. He just looked at her like he didn't hear her. I told her she needs to get in his face and make him look at her. I make him look at me and I get in his face too and it does seem to work (sometimes). His teacher is suggesting that he has a tss worker come into the classroom with him so that she can work with him and help him keep up.
I have felt like pulling my hair out as well. You have to be thankful for every good day that we have I guess.
keep me posted
Kathy 

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