Hello, guest
Name: steph
[ Original Post ]
i feel like im stuck. i have 2 kids one age 2 and one age 4 and im 4 mos. pregnant- a high risk . i beleive my 4 yr old son has adhd but our last doctor said he was too young to diagnose . im at my wits end-his behavior is stressing our family, and my marriage...when we are at family get-togethers, everyone tells me im not disiplining him. but he doesnt respond to regular diciplin action-it takes alot of repetition and then it last for 2 seconds and everyone tells me its my fault. but hes been this active and impatient scince he was born...do i dare even try asking his pediatrician to evaluate him? im afraid hell just tell me hes too young again.
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Name: kim | Date: Mar 5th, 2006 3:00 PM
I also am searching for answers for my child. I posted a thread titled Does it sound like ADHD? My son is 7 and like your child has always been hyper and impatient. Matter of factly when I mention something he has done wrong to my family they all dismiss it an say oh, thats jsut how he has always been, or oh what a "Ryan " thing to do. Like it is just born in him to be bad and there is nothing wrong with his behavior because it is him doing it. Well if they were the ones dealing with the outburst at home or the looks I get in public when things don't go his way. I never even thought about medication, I am one of those parents that can't bare the thought that my kid may need medication in order to act like other kids. But, I am out of gas, I guess I am really considering seeing what the DR. would suggest. Sorry I can't give you any real help, but I do understand. 

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Name: heather | Date: Mar 16th, 2006 9:35 PM
I dont know if youve got any advice on this yet and Im not in the position to give you advice.I have a child who will be 4 this may.A boy. I have another boy that will be 2 march 31st.and yet another son that just turned 1 yr old.My almost 4 yr old is out of control.He throws things bites people I cannot go anywhere.No one will watch him not even my parents and I want to put him in prepre school but Im scared to. I cant even go to walmart anymore.The dr. says its normal.they wont diagnose him with adhd because its too early wait until hes 5 he says. The dr. has admitted that he has it but wont diagnose it yet.Its crazy.I have no one to talk to no one seems to understand.So If you just want someone to vent to I know what youre going thru and I know what it feels like for people who dont understand to blame you for his behavior.So my email address is [email protected] email me sometime and we can talk if you want. 

Name: snake1oz | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 7:30 PM
I have th esamae situation only I am not pregnant. I have a 2 and 4 year old. My 4 year old was actually diagnosed at age 3. So it is possible to get him tested. Well stick in there. If you ever want to talk my email adress is [email protected] 

Name: JoAnne | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 8:34 PM
My son was diagnosed at 4 with ADHD and odd . And was put on aderall now he is much better to handel. It took a little bit of working with the doc to get him diagnosed but now he has been on meds for over a year and we can totally tell when he hasnt had his meds but 10 mins after getting them hes great. 

Name: natasha | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 5:33 AM
i am 12 with adhd just go to doctor for answers i take concerta it helps like heck. 

Name: Paulina | Date: Apr 18th, 2006 2:41 AM
Hello all,
Not sure if this will help any but my 3 year old daughter(4 next month) is really hyper and out of control too. It almost brings me to tears to take her anywhere because I can't control at doctors or the mall...etc. I have had a hard time getting a babysitter when I need one. She also spoke at a late age and it isn't as clear or developed as other kids her age. Everyone told me that she was maybe ADHD or just a late talker/learner and everything would settle down with time. I found out today that it isn't ADHD.........she has Autism. I am so disappointed that I only found out now when I could have found out sooner if I hadn't listened to everyone. If you truly believe your child should be tested for something ASK. The sooner you find out anything the better. My email addy is [email protected] if anyone needs someone to talk to.... :) 

Name: Patty | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 3:48 PM
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at the age of 3 he is now 4. He has been on meds, which we fought not to put him on for 6 months... it does make a difference, it is obvious when he needs another dose.. he is on methylin ( a form of ritalin) which is a fast acting med... it is in his system working within 1/2 hour and out of his system in about 3-4 hours, so he takes it a few times a day.. The pych drs. said if he is showing these signs of adhd and odd at more than one place, like my son acts out at home and at daycare... so it has to occur more than 1 type of enviornment.... I would find new drs... you need to get on meds, unfortunately, asap... my marriage has been stressed over this, the drs. told us he is trying to run the show at home and at daycare, they observed him at daycare as well.... as for diciplin, the pych. dr. told us to pick our battles, I said I thought the key was to be consistant... he said yes, but do not nag him about everything he does right... HERE IS A TIP... ONE OF THE THERAPIST HE SAW FOR PLAY THERPY FOR 6 MONTHS SUGGESTED... GET A CLEAR PLASTIC JAR AT WALMART, BUY STICKERS AND LET YOUR CHILD DECORATE IT... THEN DO A REWARD PROGRAM... GIVE YOUR CHILD A PENNY TO PUT IN THE JAR EVERYTIME THEY LISTEN... SO WHEN MY SON WOULD LISTEN ABOUT GETTING DRESSED OR EATING BREAKFAST OR CLEANING UP TOYS YOU GIVE THEM A PENNY SO THEY CAN PUT IT IN THE JAR, KEEP THE JAR IN PLAIN SIGHT SO THEY SEE IT ALL THE TIME... THEN AT THE END OF THE DAY IF THEY HAVE ENOUGH PENNIES (YOU DECIDE HOW MANY, I DID 10) THEN THEY GET AN EXTRA STORY OR TREAT AT NIGHT... OR YOU CAN DO IT FOR A WEEK, BUT AT FIRST THEY NEED TO SEE THE INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF LISTENING AND GETTING A TREAT... I WOULD LET HIM SAVE SOME UP LIKE 20 THEN HE GOT A CERTAIN TOY, BUT THE DR. SAID DO NOT ALWAYS MAKE IT A PRESENT WORTH MONEY, MAKE IT MAYBE SPECIAL TIME DOING SOMETHING THEY NORMALLY DO NOT GET TO DO!!!! IT DOES WORK, BECAUSE KIDS WITH THIS NEED POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT TO THE UMTH DEGREE, IT IS EXHAUSTING... BUT THEY LIKE TO BE PRAISED, BUT SOMETIMES THEY COULD CARE A LESS.... MAKE DECORATING THE JAR A BIG DEAL... I unfortunately got away from this during the holidays etc, but I need to get back to doing it....
My son is an only child right now, as we adopted him when he was a newborn, and the funny thing is, he was the easiest baby for the first year, I mean very EASY!!! His birthfather has ADHD... which we knew in advance, we are getting ready to adopt another newborn this summer and we chose not to mark off on the paperwork, meaning we will not accept ADHD from one of the birthparents... 1 is enough to handle... we love him more than life but some days we are just frustrated....GOOD LUCK PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW THE REWARD JARS WORK FOR YOU ALL!!!! 

Name: dkeith2006 | Date: Oct 26th, 2006 8:36 PM
I also have 3yr. old soon to be 4! I cannot get her to mind! She will mind anyone but me, and I dont know what to do! I also have a 2 year old and she is as sweet as she can be! I havent took mine to any doctors, because im afraid they would tell me the same thing! 

Name: JV | Date: Nov 10th, 2006 8:25 PM
I am searching for answers to a number of different things...I am engaged and have a 4 old boy and 6 year old girl from a previous relationship and i have a 3 month old with my fiancee. He has a 4 year old son also. Since i met him his son has always been very hyper and out of control. He does not respond to any kind of discipline at all especially when his father is around. He is always in the middle of everything and asking the same questions over and over and over. He has on numerous occasions hit and punched, pushed and yelled at my kids and myself and his dad, I can't stand it and I dont know what to do especially when his father just turns the other cheek. I am very afraid for him and my kids and feel like i have done a horrible thing by bringing them all together in the same household, as my 4 year old has always been very sweet and able to entertain himself but now is starting to pick up these behaviors. My fiancee's 4 year old is very sneaky and will ask me for something and if i say "no" will go to his dad and try to be very cute and say, "I love you daddy, you smell good (or something that effect)..." and ask for that very thing and then his dad will say yes. We have had incident reports at both daycares hes been at and the second he walks in the door its chaos. i am so stressed out i dont know how to handle it without making his father feel like i am pointing the finger. HELP!! Do you think this could be some sort of behavioral disorder? His other grandmother said she thinks he has a bit of autism as well. 

Name: purpal2002002 | Date: Nov 27th, 2006 1:25 AM
I had the same thing that had happened to me to . I was 3 and started on meds. I am not on no meds for it now. But my son is the same way and I am so lost on what to do . 

Name: adp | Date: Mar 16th, 2007 11:42 PM
find another doctor in the ofice or call around your child is not to young 

Name: Akisha | Date: Mar 21st, 2007 4:39 PM
I know how you feel I have a 5,2,1, year old and they all have ADHD as did I when I was a kid, I have never thought it is the parents fault we can only do what we can. I know the doctors say they are to young to diagnose but most doctors do for money not because they care remember they forget who you are as sonn as you walk out the door I live in a small town and see one doctor and she always has to ask my name why I am there, and what she did the last time. I think if you can see he is ADHD then more then likely he is. now the question is what do you do for him put him on meds or deal with it not one of my kids are on meds I have thought about it but I remember when I was on those drugs and I hated it I had no emotion yes it calmed me down but I was a robot not a child. I hope this helps you, I know I am not perfect I am going crazy right now with my kids which is why I am here, I have a fience who is not helping at all, We all need help and remember you are not alone:) 

Name: rose mary | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 12:04 AM
has anyone looked into the omega 3 that seems to be working for kids that have adhd. my son has adhd and i am certainly looking into it. 

Name: Lorie | Date: Aug 24th, 2007 7:34 PM
I have a 3yr old daughter is bad! she hits, screams back talks, spits and is very hyper she cant sit still. I dont know what to do anymore. 

Name: sandra | Date: Aug 26th, 2007 5:57 AM
you need to punish him more often dont let him get away with it.even though your surrounded by other people dont meen you cant punish your child.let that kid know who's boss.trust me i know i have 5 kids and i raise them on my own i have a 12 year old, a 10 year old, a 8 year old, a 5 year old ,and a 11month year old baby. 

Name: Barb | Date: Sep 1st, 2007 2:23 PM
I hear you
I too am lost as what to do for my 3 1/2yr old
I have 3 much older children and have never gone through anything like I am going through right now
Nothing I do works
I have no marriage left because this entire process has taken all of our time
I can't even send her to her room because she will just scream and scream and then hit her head against the wall and door and then I have to take her out of the room
I have tried beind understanding,explaining but I feel like I am being used and not discipling her at all - what I am doing is letting her get away with things
I cry myself to sleep alot and pray for a better day until I can find some help out there
I know this is not normal behavouir but am really stuck 

Name: Barb | Date: Sep 1st, 2007 2:27 PM
I just posted an add about my 3 1/2 yr old
I forgot to give my email add because I would love any help I can get [email protected]

I am the lady with 3 much older kids 

Name: Nicole | Date: Sep 2nd, 2007 12:40 AM
I also have a 3 1/2 yo that is out of control. She does not listen to anything I say. She just does whatever she wants and then when I put her in her room or time out, she goes crazy. She screams and yells, throws things, tells me to get away from her. She has hit me and her younger brother. She does not like to be told no, and ALL day there is screaming and crying in my house. I am at the end of my rope. I have tried spanking, I have tried to talk to her, I have tried taking things away, she does not care. She is very disrespetful to me. I need some real solid advice here. Thanks 

Name: danielle | Date: Sep 8th, 2007 10:52 PM
hi i am in the same type of situation, i think you should keep pestering your doctor until they do something. thats what i am doing 

Name: heislord | Date: Oct 12th, 2007 1:36 AM

Name: poopy | Date: Oct 18th, 2007 10:40 PM

Name: mar22 | Date: Oct 19th, 2007 1:11 AM
steph, dont listen to everyone else there not in your shoes, my mistake was listening to everyone else, so i reorted to spanking which totally made my son worse i dont spank him at all now because it made him agressive. go with your gut and as for everyone else butting in you tell them it takes 6 to 9 months to correct or change a behaciour and it always gets worse before it gets better. your right repitition is the key. if everyone follows what you do then it will be easier, also one mistake i did was try to do to much and switch up the time out techniques because i didnt relize it took long to change a behaviour i have just learned that in the past two years from a seminar. and it works, take one behaviour you want to target for example at my house it was hitting, if he hit right away no chances it was he needed to sit . so he was sat at the table told to practice safety he could colour or play playdou, this would help relax him and channle his energy to positive play, he would sit for ten minutes with reminders then encouraged to play safe, fun, friendly, and nice. sometimes role modelling what playing nice is can be effective as well. some kids just dont get the language and learn from being shown. try not to let the other people get to you. do what you feel is best for you and your child and stick to it. if you feel they are going to be a problem then hang around someone else till you get that first desired obediance accomplished, so you build your confidence as a mum. nothing worse when people are beating you down. you sound like a great mum just stick with it girl it will come. if your husband and you tag team and are doing the exact same techniques for the behaviour change then it will be easier. good luck and keep me posted. 

Name: DES | Date: Nov 4th, 2007 2:50 PM

Name: Nicholas | Date: Nov 5th, 2007 7:27 PM
Hello Steph, im a guy from denmark, im 18 years old and i have adhd, when i was a baby i cried all the time, my mother hardly got sleep, all the way trough my childhood i have been in and out of institusions, my mother always knew i was different, when i went to school it was normal for me to find my table without a birthday invitation, when all the other kids got one, i have now as a young man, started to analyse myself and reflect on my life, trying to find out how i feldt so i could descripe it to others, if someone tells you to decipline your child by spanking etc, dont ever listen to them, ever, my father abused me when i couldt settle down and that maked me a violendt kid, i have been in jail and only recently learnt to control my temper and my need to hurt others, the best thing you can do, is to be a loving mother who never give op, always show him that you love him, ofcourse you already do that, i still as an 18 year old need my mom to help me with my budget and other stoff, you child needs you as hes frame, hes safety, a child with adhd like i can easily get the felling that nobody love him or her, i used to before i got control, seek profesionell help so he can be get the tools he need, remember that he feels he fails at everything all the time because people always, yells, reject and restrict him, you need to provide him with the safety that he needs, so he knows that you will always be there to point him in the right direction, he may have a had time to show you that he loves you, i know it sometimes fells like he cant be reach mentally and you just cant connect with him, that will be easier when he gets older, but never stop trying to get profesionel help, i got it when i was 9 and i have passes my exams with good grades and i funktion fine socialy, never fell bad to give him medication if a profesionel mention it, and dont fell bad if you have to place outside home in a institution, it will give you the space you need to be a good mother for him and your other kids will have space. it will be a tough decision but it was a very good for me. just remember that your kid is speciel as you know and dont try (like some parents) toact like his normal and do nothing. i have hid my mother many times when i was younger and i regret more than anything, but know i live in total harmony with my whole family because she took the help from profesionels and never gave op. 

Name: marrion | Date: Nov 7th, 2007 6:08 AM
Hello i have 5 childen 4girls 1son who does not live with me and im currently deployed in iraq and my kids are also high energy . and my wife is home with the kids now and really is having a hard time with them my kids range from 12 , 8,5,3,2 . sincle i have been gone i have had to help my wife understand that since im not there the kids see a divided front so to speak . She did not understand that when dad away the kids will play or visa versa for the dominate parent . Its about a pattern i have found and follow through i also have heard all the request or insight on meds for kids and i do'nt see the need unless it a genetic trait . what i do with my kids is this i don't yell or fight with them i stay in a model tone and i talk to them all the time im a black male who was raised in the south where correcting a child behavior was with a belt or what ever at the time . Was it right no and i understand and i have learned there are a lot of thing you can do to correct a childs behavior you have to watck his or her ups and downs and track the times when it starts and stops what are the triggers and what are not . And if you see apattern with it show the findings to your chids doctor so he or she can gage and see if meds are needed . good luck 

Name: JOLENE | Date: Nov 10th, 2007 12:46 PM

Name: jessica | Date: Jan 17th, 2008 11:59 PM
PPL hi 

Name: mike | Date: Jan 25th, 2008 3:54 AM
hi kids 

Name: charmaine | Date: Feb 8th, 2008 2:14 PM
Hi steph, i have exactly the same problem but with a 4 year old girl, she has been thrown out of 1 nursery already and the one she is at now is trying their best to sort her out? yesterday she kicked a door so hard about 6 times she ripped the lock off, and she constantly attacks others around her including myself and teachers, i am fed up with doctors and health visitors they do nothing telling me the same, it is not your fault, i have 3 children, 4, 3 and 10 months, the other 2 are completely fine as normal children are? your family should be trying to support you not putting all the blame on you, my parents don't support me but they don't blame me either, i grew up around ADHD as my brother had it so i know the signs. If you want to chat send me an email to [email protected] and we can talk more, it would be nice to talk to someone with the same issues. 

Name: oilybabyman | Date: Feb 8th, 2008 3:14 PM
she laeraned her lesson now she barely talks. 

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