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Name: Nikki Eisenmann
[ Original Post ]
My husband has known our son is ADHD since he was tested in the summer before he started 4th grade. I asked him numerous times to help me with his education because we had twin girls that were that were not even one yet. He never found the time. Our son is now 16 and my husband has now decided he is going to take over the monitoring of our son's education and I should stay out. Keep in mind that I have worked with our son since he was diagnosed (and before he started school) and set him up with 504 in his intermediate school and high school, and worked with all his teachers to help him pass each year. But I am supposed to stay out.

I believe one of the twin girls is ADD. After so many years of working with my son I know the signs. My husband knows it is possible but does not spend any educational time with her or her twin at all. All he talks about is his son and nothing else and how he needs to leave with him. If our son calls him on his cell phone and complains about anything, my husband comes home from work and blames me. Our twin daughters witness everything and he still blames me.

I believe my husband is ADHD also which would explain his behavior towards me 95% of the time.

When all of us evacuated to my husband's brother's house because of hurricane Rita, he admitted to his sister-in-law (after she said she thought his brother was ADD) that he thought he was ADHD. I have suggested more than once that he get tested and he keeps telling me he never said it.

Our son now disrespects me and tells me to shut up all the time and calls me a jerk. If I ask him to do anything he changes the intent of the request and calls his father who in turn blames me.

Not sure who will be reading this but I do not know what to do. All my husband talks about is taking our son and leaving. He never mentions his daughters, as if they do not exist. Forget about me. We have been married for 19 years and he has been nowhere to be found regarding any of our childrens's education until now. Ever since he made the attempt to handle our son, both of them get into yelling matches just about every night and our son calls him names and then gets whatever he wants because my husband can not deal with him.

I don't know who to talk to. Please help!
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Name: tracy | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 10:09 AM
i am so sorry for the situation you are in. i can understand that you are worried about your husband being adhd, but what you must look at is your son behavior ( YOU TWO ARE ADULTS REMEMBER) from what you have said my guess is your son feels the friction between you and your husband and this is making his behavior worse as his mum and and dad you must stick together, your son knows he can get what ever he wants from his father. As for the yelling matches thats not doing any good either, i am a mother to an adhd and i know its really really difficult , but we as a mum and dad stick together on choices and dicisions. I have adhd but i never use it as an excuse. you as parents need to sit down and talk about your future and try and work things out You have three children that need to be treaten equaly by your husband, so i wish you and your family happiness and i hope things work out for you god bless 

Name: Kim | Date: Apr 9th, 2006 11:20 PM
I have been married almost 5 years to a man that told me after we were married that he had taken rittalin as an adult -he said he was able to focus better on it
I didnt really know much about ADD or ADHD till i read an artical about a mother and taking care of her toddler son who had behavior problems
well i have twin 3 1/2 year old boys and they are wild as ever and i am sure they have something along the lines of ADHD
My husbands behavior
unloving , cold , stand offish , he wants to lead and i am to follow , our house is one big mess he starts things and never finishes
he has a porn addiction , but i wont allow it in my house or marriage so he masterbates in public restrooms this is what he told me he does after seeing pretty woman
his jobs are unstable , he isnt money smart when he had the ATM card he would spend and never be concerned with the check book balance i always have to fight him on paying the bills , he believes you let things go they wont do anything to you for being late , well i dont follow that paractice , so i end up yelling to save myself
he cusses and hits the kids he has no patients , I can't be intimate withhim knowing he stares and lusts after woman on the street , knowing that sure doesnt make me feel special
i dont trust him with any of my kids , i have never left him alone with any of them .because of how violent he is .if all this sounds bad , its really worse i just don't know how to relay it well in words , whats worse is no one knows , they all see myhusband as being a wonderful man , he puts up a front to people he loves to impress others . behind closed doors oh forget it ever since ourwedding night its been over between us . ihad 2 pregnancies with my husband and both of them he was unloving and unhelpful . i feel like since i got married my life has gone down hill i feel alot of the times i am dieing i have no family support or firnds of any kind its just me and my 4 kids i do have a 17 year old daughter that has been witness to my husbands ways , she hates him with a passion and it has affected her , i would have divorced this guy but i fear him having the kids without me and whathe might do to them
oh and the dirty mess he makes all over the house he wont take his shoes off when he comes in the house , i have to ask him if he washed his hands its just gross he has totalled 3 cars in less than 5 years , he gets alot of tickets he makes me a nervous wreak rushes me in stores trys to tell me how to cook and what the house should look like , i'll stop here but there is more 

Name: Guest | Date: Dec 14th, 2009 9:27 PM
You reap what you sow! Wasn't he married when you met him? 

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