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Name: Eileen
[ Original Post ]
I know I will get calls from school that is nothing new. My son is in 2nd grade he gets frustrauted and is now making a habit of sticking out his touge for fun. The teacher has warned him a couple of times about it until she called me. She was very nice about it , She asked me what should she do about it. tell you the truth I was caught of gaurd on how she should handle it. I told her I will have a talk with him and I punished him by no t.v.. But I know he will do it again. So I told her to be stricked with him other wise he will be all over it. He is on ritalin 20 mg. I Been doing the sticker reward for about 3 months now and he says he don't care if he gets a sticker or a prize. It almost like no matter what I take away from him he just dosn't care he finds something else to keep him occupied. I even feed him dinner at 4:00 one time and put him in his room for the rest of the night. then the next day he did the same thing that he got punished for so I feed him dinner and put him to bed again earlier. So as you can see were the patteren is going I'm very constance with him and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere. I have explain to him about wrong choices and good choice we had talks all the time. I just seem like I can't get threw to him. Please help!
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Name: teresa | Date: Sep 15th, 2006 12:19 PM
Welcome to my my world. My daughter is in the third grade, however, she behaves really well in school. Home is altogether a different story. She is just like your son, nothing I do or say seems to matter. I have talked with other parents with children the same and they have the same problems. We have discussed that you just keep punishing them, keep talking to them about bad/good choices and eventually they will get it. It just takes three times as long with an ADHD child. I have heard that they don't normally get there until they are grown. Have you had your son tested for ADHD? I think this should be your first step. 

Name: Eileen | Date: Sep 15th, 2006 2:26 PM
yes my son has been tested for adhd when he was in kindergarden. I allways knew he had adhd when he was two because he never listen and was always on the go running and jumping all the time and hitting. Very active. He takes after his daddy who also has adhd. But he didn't have the problems in school like our son does. different generation I guess. the disapliane is not the same teachers also can't do much just like the parents the kids run the show these days. I think it was a good thing to be scared of your parents I never did half off the things kids do today the are disrespectful and I'm talking about the kids that don't have adhd. i feel bad for teachers to. But I have to give his teacher credit were credit is due least she asked me what to do.But this is my first child and every step of the way is a new one. 

Name: JAB | Date: Sep 16th, 2006 12:44 AM
Behavior problems are often remedied with nutrition. I know you've heard that before, and it sounds like such a huge task, especially if you are already paying attention to his nutrition. Glyconutrition is proving to have absolutely amazing results with behavior problems -- ADD, ADHD, Austism, etc. This is real hope for you and your son and your family. 

Name: Eileen | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 2:14 PM
jab, What is glyconutrition can you tell me what foods it is in. Thank you. 

Name: fancy | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 2:16 AM
Hi I was in the same boat like you but have you talk to his doctor about changing his medicine my seven year old was like that and I took him into the doctors office and actually she saw him the way I was stating but my son was always in trouble and taking anything away was like fun to him he tought it was a game but the doctor changed medicine and now hes a different child in school the phone doesnt ring for any more meetings with the teachers but now hes on concerta and doing great hes well behaved in school at home sometimes but with the medicine hes a different child talk to his doctor about ways to help I did and I 'm glad I did hope it works out for you 

Name: flamom | Date: Oct 27th, 2006 11:18 PM
I agree with JAB. Start there and I would also seek counseling (if your insurance covers) because sometimes the child needs counseling and medication. There is such a thing as ODD Obstinante Defiant Disorder look up and see the signs. It's very difficult when there's trouble at school. I just put my 10yr old on Focalin with very good results. Good luck to you. 


Name: lillie3 | Date: Oct 28th, 2006 2:00 AM
most schools have to provide in-class supports when a child's behavior gets in the way of his education - try and find an educational advocate - what about wraparound supports? 

Name: khend1969 | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 1:39 AM
Hi, my name is Kristy, I have an 8 yr old boy with ADHD, we have tried several different medications and therapy, finally I found a doctor who will listen to me. I did the punishing, taking the tv away, time outs and none of it worked. In the last month what I have started to do is everyday he comes home from school with a good report, he gets an hour on the computer, this seems to be working since we started this he has come home with maybe 4 bad days. I tried the stickers and it didn't work with me either. Also something i found out about iskeeping them busy, I know we don't want our kids in front of the tv all the time, but video games go as fast as their little minds are going and this seems to be effective. I also find for my sanity that I need time away, so go to a movie by yourself, shopping, things that make you feel good. It will get better. 

Name: nikki30l | Date: Nov 7th, 2006 1:36 AM
MY SON WAS THE SAME WAY BUT I REALIZED THAT PUNISHING WAS DOING NOTHING AND MY DOCTOR ADDED AN EXTRA RITALIN DURING THE DAY AND PUT HIM ON RISPERDAL IT WAS THE BEST THING . HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS BEING PUNISHED AND NOW I GET THAT IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO FIGURE IT OUT. MY SON WAS PUNISHED AND LOST THINGS AND NEVER CARED BECAUSE HE WASNT COMPREHENDING WHAT WAS WRONG HE THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL . NOW THINGS
ARE GREAT AND WE ARE DOOING MUCH BETTER
NIKKI 

Name: babigyrl | Date: Nov 20th, 2006 2:18 PM
Ok, I have a seven year old also who is ADHD. My first suggestion is to have his meds checked. My son did way better on concerta then anything else. As far as his defiance gos, he is looking for limits. He needs to have more structure maybe?? He sounds like he needs more positive attention and confirmation. It sounds like he is having some pretty big feelings of sadness that he may not be sharing. One thing I do with my son that sounds crazy, but works is jumping jacks. Everytime he has an attitude, there is a feeling(happy, mad, scared, sad) behind it. I ask him what is your feeling right now. He usually say NOTHING! Then I tell him to do jumping jacks until he can figure out what is bothering him. It sounds so stupid, but it really works. Also, maybe giving your son a lunch box meal. This is something like Bread, crackers, ,water and celery, you know something bland. If he misbehaves, or sticks his tounge out, he loses dinner and gets a lunch box meal. He will learn real quick. Trsut me on this, these things work. Kids want to have limits, and kids with adhd need stricture and limits. It makes them feel secure. Maybe something is bothering him at school and he is scared to share it with someone. Hope this helps. My email is [email protected] Email me anytime. 

Name: Yawmom | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 12:59 AM
I agree with the one response, adhd/add kids don't clearly comprehend why they are getting punished for. And I think if you put him in his room he's not working off his energy. I think I'd have the doctor check his dosage, but if he's only misbehaving a little it might be extreme. It's hard to judge ADD and "boy". I'd have his teacher reprimand him "that is not something we do, it's unacceptable behavior and if it happens again you will need a time out".
At home let him run wild, good exercise workout so that he's pooped at the end of the day and will sleep good. The kids don't get enough rest and getting good and tired to it will help. They do their growing in their sleep.
As far as the meds go--I am totally against Ritalin. We switched to Concerta and it made a huge differnce. With Ritalin the mood swings were horrible. Perhaps you might want to have the doctor suggest a different one, there's Adderall also. 

Name: ccanul | Date: Dec 17th, 2006 4:54 AM
I am a mother of a child who was diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, and Aspergers. My son was first diagnosed with these disorders when he was 6, and now he is 8 going on 9. When we first started he was on meds that slowed him down, and made him calm. We still had behavior problems, but no one could tell me how to break this vicious cycle. He would get angry at me and would throw things so I would go to my room and lock the door. He would then kick the door. Everyone thought that it was me that was causing this. I finaly found a therapist that listened. She handed me a book the first day, and when I started reading it I thought she was crazy. She wanted me to basicly have fun even though my son was standing there having a fit. I tried it. My son was throwing a fit. He was stomping his feet, and screaming. So I stood there and calmly said yell a little louder the neighbors cant hear you. Then he stomped off mad. He went to his room, and I said don't forget to slam your door. I knew he would. That day he didn't. I have alot of fun with him when he is angry, and let me tell you it dosn't happen as much as before. Believe me I tried everything else, and I was and still am very concistante. If u would like to read the book its called Love and Logic. 

Name: mar22 | Date: Dec 18th, 2006 3:24 AM
instead of giving him attention when he sticks his tongue out why not egnore it and when you see him do it ask him if he wants a snack or find a task for him to do to get his mind of the behaviour give that a try . just trying to help. or this might sound horrible but sometimes when everyone joins itn it takes the fun away. so if everyone in the family started to do this very often in his presents i wonder if he would stop because its no longer giving him the satisfaction hes looking for. just a thought but i dont feel the school would go along with this but you could try at home. hope you find a quick resolution soon. best wishes 

Name: PattyJ | Date: Dec 21st, 2006 9:01 PM
Hi what you describe is the same way my son acts and he has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. The ODD(Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is what you are describing as far as not listening to the teachers at school about sticking his tongue out and doing the same things even though he gets in trouble for them the day before or even the same day.
My son will get grounded also and go right back to do the same thing he got grounded for. It can be very trying on you. I get the phone calls from the teachers also. My son is 9 and in 4th grade he also IQ tests at a genuois level for his age which makes it even worse because to him everything is not fair and he will argue everything out with you. And he knows it all.
He is taking Strattera and Adderall which helps with his ADHD however not with his ODD so his doc is talking about but him on Resperdal.Right now we have increased his other meds to see if that will help will know in 3 weeks if he wants to change them. 

Name: truebluetara | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 9:01 AM
well i have exactly the same issue with my kids about consequencing i follow through and they just dont care ..if you find an answer please share it with me im desperate 

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