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Name: Angie
[ Original Post ]
I am a step mom of a girl that has ADHD. I don't have children of my own and I have been her stepmom for 4 years. I get so frustrated and stressed and homework is a nightmare. I don't know where to start but I do know I need help. She takes meds 3 times a day now and that helps a lot but I think she has decided that she knows what is best and no adult is going to tell her what to do. She usually does the opposite of what I tell her and she is the queen of negotiations. I have stopped negotiating with her because she wears me out.Is that the right thing to do?
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Name: Ronda | Date: Oct 12th, 2005 3:28 PM
Hi Angie - I am the step parent of a 8 year old boy with ADHD. Yes! Don't negotiate. Who is the parent? We find (with my husbands x-wife) that confusion lies when the child feels she/he is in the driver seat instead of the parent. My husband is very strict with the kids and our ADHD son does so much better in our household (where guidelines for proper behavior are set and expected). Nine times out of ten, he gets in trouble when he's in that household. He's never gotten into trouble if my husband is close by. I feel (only my opinion) that parents make a mistake when they treat adhd as a reason to allow children to misbehave. I agree it is a reason they do but they still have to grow up and become apart of society that has rules and laws of how they should conduct themselves. 

Name: bogginbomber | Date: Nov 27th, 2005 8:59 PM
so what can i do to help you out do you wanna talk about it 1st 

Name: dawndawn | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 5:29 PM
HI!
I believe that negotations is not the way to go with adhd children. They really need structure and strict guidelines to follow. I love the tv show Nanny 911! If you haven't watched that show you need to check it out! Such good parenting skills and with children that are out of control. Good Luck with your situation, each and every child is different, just try and find something that really works with her...

Dawn
www.FinallyFamilyTime.com 

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