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Hello. I have an 7 yr old daughter on concerta, and its not working, she is so out of control when she gets home from school, and the mornings are the same, she doesn't want to do anything for herself, she argues with me on everything. i ask her to do something and she throws a big fit, i try not to yell but i get so mad she is arguing with me and not doing what i ask, it makes it worst. she wants to constantlay be around me, i can't get a break for nothing, she always interrupting me. i have two other girls, two and one, and she treats them like crap, then accuses us of loving them more. i can't handle her anymore, im going crazy, im so depressed, when I ask her to get her home work out she whines horriably and complains and we argue about doing it for an hour, she just sits and whines and throws her little fits, until its too late to do anything, she can't even read that well anymore, and her spelling sucks. i don't know what to do any more, the concert isn't working i know that, i needs something that will work accross the board into the evening, im feel bad things, i love her so much but other times....ahhhh ↓
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| Name: krazmom | Date: Sep 28th, 2006 11:32 AM |
| michelle, 1st of all, talk to the Dr. about her meds. I also have an 11 yr old daughter whos been pure torment at times since she was diagnosed at age 6. I understand the frustration. I've often felt like "this is my daughter and I love her, but I do NOT like her very much" then feel guilty for feeling that way. There's never a black/white or right/wrong solution to handling day to day situations with ADD kids. I have found tho, if you make everything like a game or a fun race to get it done, sometimes that works. I know its hard when you have other kids because you feel like as a parent you dont have time to spend ALL your time with 1 child. I used to sit in the bathroom with my daughter and say, "ok lets see if you can get your whole body washed before I sing thru my ABC's"......small things like that get the job done and mean alot to the child making them feel like you are spending non-confrontational time with them. Everything with my daughter is a power struggle and I try very hard (but dont always succed) in making things fun and not a war. It's hard I know because you have 2 younger ones and you just wish your 7yr old would "fall in line" and do what she's supposed to......but her mind doesn't think that way. If you can, find some time to spend by yourself, if you have any family or friends you could enlist to babysit from time to time, because as parents, if we dont step back and refuel our emtions, we run on empty and thats not good for you or her. Hang in there!! ↑ |
| Name: teresa | Date: Sep 29th, 2006 12:19 PM |
| Hey Michelle, it sounds like I have your twin daughter living in my house. My daughter was diagnosed a year ago and she takes Strattera. This is a non-stimulant medications that last 24 hours. Where I have seen a tremendous improvement in her life outside of the house, inside my four walls, it's a whole different story. I have come to the conclusion that when they are home with mom, no medication keeps them in control because they know you love them no matter how they behave. When my daughter starts throwing her fits after school, I just have to send her to her room until she is ready to behave properly. She is not allowed to do anything else until her homework is done, if she throws a fit for two hours that's two hours of playtime she no longer has. My daughter also plays sports, and if her fits keep us from doing homework and she is not finished by game time, NO GAME. I have talked to her until I'm blue in the face about her behavior and consequences and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. I just keeping repeating the same things over and over. I'm hoping SOME DAY something I say will sink in. Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be but this forum has helped me alot by reading that other parents are right there with me. If you want to chat you can email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: BrendansMom | Date: Sep 29th, 2006 11:18 PM |
Hi there,
First of all take a deep breath - or four! We have all been there and most of us are still there on certain days! Talk to her doctor. Also, if you need to get on anti-depressant meds you do it! You are no good to your kids if you do not want to get out of bed in the a.m. (speaking from experience!!). My son is on Ritalin and it has helped greatly. We still have trying times at home and in public of course. At home we have been trying to implement detailed schedules which we keep on the refrigerator. Its a reward system that I have heard works well for Ad/Hd kids. Also, very calm music at times seems to help him. Hawaiian guitar music of all things. Found this little tidbit out from his Kindergarten teacher! Keep talking to people...it helps. If you ever want to chat I am at [email protected]. Take care and remember to take good care of yourself! ↑ |
| Name: Lisa Thyr | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 3:00 AM |
| I don't think your daughter is on the right meds. it may work for some but not yours. Thats okay what works for some may not work for others it's a long process of trial and error but the most inportant thing to remember is that you are NOT ALONE. There are so many people out there that are going through the same thing as you including me. My son is 8 and has ADHD and he is currently taking dexcedrine and it seemed to work at first but it doesn't last long enough it wears off by 2:00 and he is wired for sound by the time he gets home from school. We are going in to see the doctor on Tues. We also have to drive an hour to see the Dr. but you do what you have to do I guess. You are doing the best you can as a parent. GOOD LUCK. ↑ |
| Name: littlemom | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 3:37 AM |
| LET ME CLUE YOU INTO A SECRET~ MEDICATION ISN'T WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS, SHE NEEDS A MOTHER! SHE KNOWS YOU DON'T MEAN WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE YOU;LL JUST SIT THERE AND ARGUE WITH HER LIKE A CHILD AND THEN INSIST THAT SHE DO WHAT YOU SAY~ HYPOCRIT! SHE NEEDS FIRM AND LOVING DISCIPLINE AND TRAINING, THIS TAKES WORK, I MEAN ACTION. THE FIRST TIME YOU SAY SOMETHING IT MUST BE OBEYED OR SHE SEES YOU AS A WIMPY LIAR WHO DOESN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HER. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT FORTH EFFORT HERE, NOT JUST WHINING AND PLEADING BUT PUTTING YOUR FOOT DOWN. THIS NONSENSE ABOUT ADHD IS ONLY AN EXCUSE FOR LAZY PARENT SYNDROME, THERE ISN'T A THING WRONG WITH THESE CHILDREN EXCEPT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE LAZY PARENTS WHO DON'T CARE TO DO THE HARD WORK OF CHILD TRAINING WITH LOVE. STOP HANDING HER OVER TO THE DOCTORS AND "PROFESSIONALS" WAKE UP AND SEE THAT YOU ARE THE PROFESSION HERE, GOD GAVE HER TO YOU! ↑ |
| Name: teresa | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 12:03 PM |
| michelle, don't take what littlemom says to heart, evidently she doesn't have a child with ADD or she wouldn't have the gall to say what she did. Parents with ADD children are not lazy we are challenged. The rules change everyday and you have to be creative because what worked yesterday may not work today. Hang in there, you are a GOOD Parent! ↑ |
| Name: fancy | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 3:20 AM |
| Hi I've been in your shoes my son hes seven and on concerta and the doctor had to up strengh his meds hes been on alot of meds now but the doctor just up his meds to 2 27 mg and hes doing fine of course he has his moments but the key to all of this your the parent and everyone will have a opinion about everything all the others mothers will agree but the best thing is go bye what you feel is best no family or friends can really help make sense cause really no one knows what we are going though unless you are going though it remember do for your self and your child go to her doctor and have a talk with him or her let the doctor know whats happening if you want to chat email me at [email protected] I will tell you it will get better take it day by day and talk to the doctor I hope I helped but its not your fault no matter who or what states it just hang in there we are here for you!!! ↑ |
| Name: jamberrt | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 3:25 AM |
Hey michellefarnham, I SO hear you.
Lilttlemom...that's just mean. None of us lives in each others house and turn off the ALL CAPS...YOUR OPINION CAN BE HEARD WITHOUT YELLING!
My daughter is 12 and on concerta and risperdal/risperdone?? and I think it's the 2 together that helps. We never do homework or chores for more than 15 minutes at a time. We're gradually increasing the time and I've got some really good friends who take her occasionally to do things with them.
I have a friends whose girls are on stratera. It is a med that has to start at a low dosage and worked up and if they ever miss more than a day you have to start again. She also has a behaviour therapist who has taught her some amazing techniques that I can't graps but if you e-mail me, I'll ask her if I can forward your e-mail to her.
We're in Manitoba, Canada. I am [email protected]
HUGS! ↑ |
| Name: jamberrt | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 3:26 AM |
My favorite quote:
I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully identified 10,000 things that don't work! - Thomas Edison ↑ |
| Name: Lisa Thyr | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 3:12 AM |
| You just have to read everyone else on this websight to know that littlemom is wrong, people want someplace to go to talk and to know that they aren't going through this alone. People don't need to lectured and told they're lazy. I hope that you don't take what she says to heart because there are people who will listen and not critisize you. ↑ |
| Name: dizzy | Date: Oct 8th, 2006 4:37 PM |
| don't give up hope! one month ago I found myself making decisions about our familys future together. my 10 year old daughter had become so aggressive that my 7 year olds school teacher called out social services because of her constant bruises. i knew at this point it couldn't go on like this. i found myself making a decision that as a mum i hated to even contemplate. i knew if things didn't change i had to give my 10 year old to my mum to live on a permanant basis for the sake of the two little one, then after a chat with the doc my eldest started on ritilin what a miracle our life has changed so much. life could almost be classed as normal we have days out that are stress free and fun. time together as a family with no arguments, it's a true miracle. so dont give up, it always gets better in the end. ↑ |
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