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Name: tiredmom
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i have got a meeting with the teacher tomorrow my son has been kicked out of his afterschool programme and i just dont know what to do anymore..he is out of contril thee is not a day that goes by where he is not in a rage or crying. i dont know how to help him and more frustrating it seems no one wants to help me. if he had a physical condition he would have had treatment by now and a dr to follow his case but because you cant see his illness i have dr[s tell me there is nothing that they can do. they have already just pushed pills at us. i said they dont work but they tell me i have to give them time its been over a year and still not working when do they kick in. i am just at my ropes end he is abusive to me physically and verbally i am afraid to leave him in the room with his little brother. he has no friends he is known as the weird kid at school sometime i feel so bad for him and think what it is like being him...and sometime i am so selfish i just wonder what i did to deseve this. i guess i am rambling.. and maybe just looking for a suggestion. if anyone started there child on ritalin and something else better worked please let me know. and if anyone found anything that lasted all day please let me know....help is what i need just dont know wher to turn
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Name: mn-mom | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:39 AM
My son takes Metadate CD...20 mg in morning, the school gives 10 mg at lunch, and I give 10 mg when he comes home from school. It has helped him a great deal. He is ADHD/ODD. This has enabled him to stop and think a little first before reacting. This also has allowed opportunities for positive reinforcement, which he reacts to very well. Any small thing I notice that he does well and is a behavior I want him to repeat, I really give out positive reinforcement. We also use reward charts and removal of privileges for bad behavior. One of the biggest things with ODD children is to not react with much emotion when dealing with consequences; state things very matter-of-fact. Sometimes when he's on a time out, he can say things that are incredibly mean and almost scary, but the key is not to say anything during the time out that would fuel this behavior. Obviously, much easier to say than to do. 

Name: Yawmom | Date: Dec 1st, 2006 7:57 PM
I hear ya!
You didn't mention if he was diagnosed or what meds he's on. My son was on Ritalin--worst time in our lives, she switched him over to Concerta and it made a huge difference.
My son had even fractured his hand bone on my others son's head! Temper is a horrible thing. Let alone they are singled out as troublemakers or too much work to take care of.

My son was banded from going to a class trip--he was the only one out of the whole class! I took off the day and took him anyway. Filed a greivence and contacted the school board. Fight for your kids. No it's not fair to the other kids, but it's not fair to your son either.

Try a different medicine, give him healthy treats (yogurt,string cheese, etc) and make sure he gets enough exercise to wear him out for a good sleep. You get to point where you are just punishing him, yelling and he thinks you hate him...it's hard. Read everything you can to help you out, get involved in a support group, make sure he's on the right meds. I hated Ritalin, his mood swings went from pure hate and anger to just breaking down and crying thinking eveyone hated him...it's horrible for the boy. Concerta helped us a great deal, and of course they need more postitive reinforcement than most kids. Hang in there and educate yourself. Think of how they feel. 

Name: mar22 | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 3:14 AM
my son takes concerta 36mg and reperidal.25mg. resperidal one in morning two at night. i went through the the physically and verbal abuse from my son as well. with help from a behaviour team and going to a seminar in canada i have learned how to handle situations when they arise and i also had to change my evening routine to best suite his needs. my child is one that needs the complete structure of most things. I to was scared to leave my son with daughter alone because he seemed so impulsive and vandictive that i was scared of what he would do to her especially when hes mad or hadnt had his own way. But know i can say that is no longer my worries he is now a very well adjusted boy with fewer episodes. he can know play at school and there is no hitting and has made friends too this year. He is also able to particpate in sporting activites with no problems, he can go to a shopping centre and behave himself. He has trully stop hitting me but we are still working on some verbal but all in all hes come along way. As for you dear hang in their your turn to will come, it trying to figure out what works for your son. are there any behaviourist around your area willing to come to the home for support and backup. Child and youth worker at his school to work on isssues, im kind of puzzled as to why the doctor wouold not do a med change after a year of not working. maybe request a med change. dont give up because you know hes worth it , its hard to get the breaks we need as parents, but sounds like your doing your best so pick up your feet and brush yourself off and keep pluggying away and push for more help. sometimes doctors need a little nudge to get them to fully undrestand. i remember once my doctor didnt have a clue as to what i was going through with my guy until a worker had sent him a fax requesting help for me for my son. then things started to happen. hang in there girl your doing a great job give yourself creadit were credit is do. kids like ours need concretes if you do this than this is going to happen if you dont do this then this will happen. routine and structure if he hits have same consiquence everytime my guy sits at the table doing safe things like colouring, playdou, lego he cant talk or get out until half hour this helps change his mood. hope i was helpful. hang in their girl! 

Name: Gaining Strength | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 5:46 PM
I have tried to ritalin type medications for my 5 year old and neither are working well. We started with FocalIn. When we tried it a year ago it actually exacerbated his symptoms so I cut that out immediately and didn't try anything for another year. Then this fall when his kindergarten teacher expressed her great concern I went back to the doctor who initially started my son on Methlyn tablets and then switched him to FocalIn again.

The FocalIn does not help with his behavior at school. But he is less beligerent at home - his tantrums and rudeness are less strident and less frequent. The Methlyn works better at school but not well enough. The Methlyn seems to help him cut through the overstimulation to some degree. We need to go back to the doctor and try something else or some other level of medication. The hyperactivity and meanness are the most difficult for me. The attention problem is something we will have to deal with later on. Right now the behavioral issues make life difficult for everyone around. 

Name: shanak10 | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 10:46 PM
Hi Tiredmom,
I read about your son's condition and was saddened by your suffering and by his condition. I was wondering if you knew, that the chemicals and toxics in your home could aggravate his condition. If you want more info, please contact me at [email protected]

Name: Angelgirl | Date: Dec 6th, 2006 4:33 AM
I certainly feel your pain, and aggravation. I too have two children with ADHD/ODD. My son started taking Focalin 10 mg.
He is like a different child now. He actually acts normal. He can stay in his seat, get his work done and not aggravate everyone.
He is thinking before acting. His memory is better too.

Since he's growing and gaining weight he now takes 15mg in the morning and 2.5 mg Focalin in the afternoon.

Focalin XR usually lasts until around 3 pm. Then the short acting one kicks in. Ask your doctor to see if Focalin XR will work for him. It was an answer to prayer.
I will pray for you and your son and family. Hang in there. I know it's not easy, and at times you feel like quitting. But don't quit. I have found out that kids and people with ADHD/ODD actually are quite gifted and creative. They are very intelligent and go on to be very successful in life. Example: Ty Pennington for Extreme Home makeover has ADHD. He is a spokesperson for it. God will reward you one day for all that you're doing.
Be Blessed. 

Name: robinjoud | Date: Dec 8th, 2006 10:39 PM
I feel the same way! Meds aren't working for us either. My daughter's teacher seems to be in another world. Whenever I ask him about how my daughter is doing in school he starts his little speach and tells me how she is one of the best kids in his class. I wonder what planet he is on? So, for me too, if anyone has a suggestion, please let me know. I hope things get easier for you. 

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