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Name: Dark Horse
[ Original Post ]
Hi, I have 2 dilemmas at the mo....
1) My 10yr old stepson is a very confused little boy. Both parents want to be in his life, and both have begun new families. My stepson (the only child from this pairing) constantly has emotional breakdowns/tantrums because he's missing out on things in either home. This results in meetings between both sets of parents and more often than not, results in changing everyones visitation schedules, pick-ups and commitments etc. This has happened a few times now and basically, he gets what he wants, realizes that he's now missing something else and throws another. Personally I am tired of this and believe as parents and role models we need to show him that we are the parents/adults, so we make the decisions about his life and that he cannot throw tantrums to get what he wants (what kind of adult will that teach him to be?!). I guess it would help him to understand that he cant be there for everything but to be grateful for all of the great things he was apart of.? Im seriously considering asking his mum if we can get him some therapy, because these crying tantrums happen on the field when playing sports etc when the refs calls or team mates dont go the way he wants. Is this unreasonable?

2) My next one is, my husbands ex now keeps expecting him to pickup and transport her other child, to another man, along with there one son. Now this to me seems really wrong, because well this other little boy is no responsibility of me or my husband. The father to this boy has long since gone and I get the feeling that my husbands ex, is using the one father that did stick around to take care of both. I dont even think she made any attempt to change any of her personal life to accomodate her other sons committments by trying to be there herself, she's just assumed that because my husband is picking up there son, he will take care of the other too. Do I have a right to be angry and frustrated about this?
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Name: Shay | Date: Feb 23rd, 2010 1:19 PM
Hi Dark Horse Problem 1 is simple this child knows what to do to get what he wants and you and your husband need to stand up and let him know that he is a child and will not have everything his way. Just once say no to him an ignore his tantrum he will learn. Problem 2 to tell your husbadn that this bother you and that his ex is using him. this will later affect your marriage if you don't do something now hope this helps 

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