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Name: CEEXCEE

[ Original Post ]

Can’t take any more
My stepson came to live with my husband and I last week he is 8yrs old his mother says she can not handle him any more I don’t want to say he is bad but he is in trouble all the time at home at school any were he goes the kids don’t want to play with him. Last weekend at a party (I have two boys from another man 12 & 13) he spit in both of my children’s faces so my son spit on him and hit him I know it was not right for my son to hit or spit on him but he did spit on both of my boys. All my husband says oh he’s just a boy their is always a reason for this kids behavior. He has been enrolled at a new school for 5days now the teacher has called us 2 x’s removed him from the class. Last night he was throwing pool balls around because he was mad. The kid has been kicked out of after school programs for hitting, kicking, pushing other students and lying. They did not let him eat, play or sit with the other kids in class. I am really trying to be their but my husband feels his son can hit my kids and mine are not to put a hand on him because of the age group. So to avoid any problems I tell my kids not to play with him no kids in the neighborhood want to play with him. His father makes the kids play with him. I see him as being a very angry child. My husband blames his mother for how he acts. The boy is smart he plays his father against his mother. He tells his dad he hates his mom she does not love him she is lazy, she is mean and he allows him to talk about her that way. He can not go one day without getting into trouble hitting, kicking, pushing, and lying about anything small or big. My husband does not want to admit their is a problem with him. I think he feels if something is wrong he is a bad parent. How can I get him to get help before it breaks us up or this kid ends up really hurting someone or himself? Our house has turned into a battle field every night their is a 2-3 hour discussion over what he did wrong and my kids are being left out. I have to sit in or he will play his dad and get out of trouble by saying oh I'm just bad I can’t do anything right and his dad feels bad so it goes from discipline to holding laughing playing. And poor me.. Someone please help... well things have not changed they only have gotten worse Nov. 13th he attacked 7 children on the school play ground and one school yard supervisor now he has only been in school 1wk also he was screaming at the princeable and his father in the middle of the office. My husband did nothing no punishment at all…. He was kicked out of the after school program again. Now he has been in school 4wks and on Nov. 22nd he attacked another student put this little boy in a head lock. Also again attacked the after school playground supervisor. It was so bad they could not control him they called the police and put him in hand cuffs and a crises counselor speak with him. And his father takes him to get a hair cut buys him some new clothing he went out to eat that night was sitting in his bead watching TV that night the next morning. Top it all off his dad allowed him to go to Mexico for the long weekend. He was suspended from school. But at home he can do no wrong. Remember this boy is only 8 yrs old and he is just an evil little kid. At first he would say oh their making fun of me he has openly told his father I just do it because I want to. At times I want my boys to beat the crap out of him just so he can see how it feels. I cant stand this kid io have tryed and tryed and what makes it worse is his dad is just blind to what this boy does no matter what anyone says.. Please some one help!!!!! ↓

Name: marija | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 2:20 AM

CEEXCEE
First of all KICK your husband...really really hard!!!!... then the teachers, principal and police...
i know i have just posted a therapy and medication post in SAHM about how easy people tend to lean on drugs and meds...butttttt you fall into the other catergory..this has been ongoing for years it looks like... has nobody referred him to a specialist? He looks as though he has a personality disorder or ADHD.
My husband used to have a foster boy every second weekend and when i first lived with him my son was the same age..and like you thought he was a evil little kid..hubby said it was because of his upbringing and thought letting the kid have his way was going to make it better, my son (both were 5 at the time)was not allowed to win any game they played because the other kid would get too upset and throw things, i told him not to play with him and then the kid would run to hubby crying and telling him that my son was mean and threw things at him..(lies) my dh would then force my son to play with him and lose, every time he let him win this kid would jump around him in his face and called him a stupid loser and im the greatest cause im the winner...how much of this can a "normal" 5yo take before he becomes angry. I stomped on it after a month of it..my husband had to pick the child up and only have him during day hours. on those days we went out. 2 years later they found out that he had Aspergus?? and was put on meds and now if you see him you wouldnt recognise him..very well behaved..has his moments like any other kid.
I cant believe that noone has thought to look in this direction
1st clue...mother cant put up with it anymore..( In your eyes is she a good mother)
2nd clue...No body likes him..(classic personality disorder symptom)
3rd clue...Hard time focusing on tasks (school) and Everything is about him...ADHD kids can be self-absorbed and have short attention spans
what is sad about your situation is that these people (school staff and police) are trained to look out for these clues and should of discussed these with the parents long long ago.
good luck ↑

Name: girli_bird | Date: Jan 16th, 2007 6:06 AM

he is 8 and you think he is an evil little kid, that is really sad and I am sure that he can read that about you. It is hard to deal with a life change and its even harder when the child acts like this. Now I am by no way saying he should get away with this behavior nor get rewarded for it. But ther could be bigger problems here then everyone thinks and maybe he needs some type of help.Maybe you should talk to his dad about things that can improve his behavior and deflect the bad behavior. Putting parents agisnt each other is pretty commen. They are going to have to talk and agree that they while the child can exspress their fealing, the parents wont be evolved in talking bad about the other parent or you. I do think that it is importamt that your children play with him or i don't think his issues will go away. You might want to spend alone time with him just you and him. It might be strange at first but I think it will be good for you and him. ↑