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Name: kirstynsmama
[ Original Post ]
Ok, this is my first post here and it gives me some hope someone will have an answer! So here is the story- my husbands twin bro(my brother-in-law) had a baby with...a casual ``hook up``. Well even though the father couldnt stand the mother, he stayed with her for 2 yrs but couldnt make it work. She lied and stole, it was crazy. so the ''mother'' met someone online and signed the papers giving the father full custody and leaving herself ''reasonable visitation''. So, the dad to provide works long hrs as a deputy (as well as my husband) well when i saw my niece going to anyone he could keep her, he'd even get people to watch ger while he slept after a night of video games. So, I suggested she live with us so she'd have a stable home. well the father gave me porvisional custody since im the main caregiver.At first her dad would come over for hrs and play with her but his visits are becomming less and less. The little girl is very smart, however she can talk but not really communicate. Shes almost 3 and cant tell me shes hungry or hurt and im almost possitive its because her parents didnt really talk to her. I realized the issue and learned some ways to help her catch up. she amazes me with how fast she picks up.So my original question is, since mom is gone and she barely sees dad, she calls everyone she meets ''mom'' & ''dad'', She calls me mom or mommy, do i let her and encourage it? i know ill never take the place of her bio mom but maybe until shes old enough, ill be her mommy`. or do u think it would confuse her? she doesnt see her mom at all. its so touchy because i want the best for her and i want to provide comfort and security. So yay or nah on her calling me mommy? by theway, her dad doesnt mind one bit. please give me any thoughts and advise, i realli appreciate it!

thanks,
confused mom of 1.....or 2?
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Name: Kristal | Date: Sep 8th, 2010 7:58 PM
As much as it may make her feel better for you to let her call you mommy, at any time the bio mom can come back and then where would that leave her? My sister's aunt had the same kind of situation with her other aunt's two children, and they call her 'Auntie'. I think it is best that you show her other ways to address you and that you don't call yourself her 'mommy' because she does need to understand the difference between who her mother is and who everyone else is. I think you are doing a brave and wonderful thing for this little girl and I wish you the best! 

Name: Felicity | Date: Oct 5th, 2010 4:42 PM
Speaking as a complete stranger and not a mother I don't know how much help I can be but in my eyes the sentiment 'anyone can be a mother but it takes a special person to be a mum' is true. Let her call you mummy. Providing she stays with you she wont know any different until she is ready to understand and even then I know I would prefer to have a 'mum' then an aunt especially as she would be around your child. She is only 3 so what she needs most is a mother. And she will thank you later for it. 

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