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Name: Stephanie123 | Date: Nov 19th, 2006 2:10 AM
Spank them both! 

Name: jade | Date: Apr 27th, 2007 9:04 PM
same situation sweetie. my husband does not get along with my 6 year old daughter. he started verbally abusing her when she was 2. then it escelated to physical abuse when she was about 3. everything was her fault b/c she had adhd. he has a son from his first marriage. we have 2 children together. when all of them would do something wrong, my daughter would get a bad whipping. and noone else. always screaming at her. we searched for help with different doctors and she had to go into the hospital twice. did'nt do any good. i live in ms. and my oldest brother lives in ky. 14 hr. away. she has lived there now for over a year. doing very well. they have no problems with at all. it definitely messed her up mentally. and i blame myself everyday for it, b/c i could have left, but i did'nt b/c i was scared. the sad thing about it was, every time it happened, she would look at me like, why are you letting him do me this way. she has turned against me a little. now , i don't want to even be around his little boy, b/c he's doing some of the same things to our 2 children. is this wrong for me to feel this way. i've threatened to leave and he says he don't care if i stay of leave. does anyone have any advice or input on this?thanks. and good luck. 

Name: natalia | Date: Jun 22nd, 2007 4:23 AM
I can relate to you completely. My only advice to you is to figure out what you need most. The peace of mind that comes from having him gone or struggling in the hopes of making this marriage work no matter what. I am in the same situation and I can attest to the fact that nothing in my life has been more difficult were it not for having a child with my husband there would be no reason to pursue it further. Good luck god bless. 

Name: jkandre | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 12:00 AM
I have the exact same problem you have. i have a daughter from a previous marriage and now me and my husband have 2 children together. i don't know what else to do with my marriage. its hard to pretend everything is okay when you know its not. its only going to get worse for me because she just got her license and has a car now. i wish i could find the answer for both of us but where do we get them the help they need without getting another divorce to stop the madness. and i was thinking i was the only one with this problem. 

Name: Christina | Date: Oct 27th, 2007 6:55 PM
I am now 18 years old. My stepdad has been in my life since 10. He is verbally abusive, and even now we've had fights. He and I have fought ever since my youngest sister (now 5) was born. I push his buttons, granted, but he treats me horribly, and have gotten to seeing me as his enemy, and not as a kid. ...please do not subject your daughter to abuse. She will become angry with you as well, for not protecting her properly. 

Name: michelle | Date: Dec 15th, 2007 11:42 PM
I'm in the same situation and it is ruining our whole family! 

Name: Forren6 | Date: Jan 22nd, 2008 2:56 PM
why would you marry someone that is not compatible with your children? 

Name: Christina Reilley | Date: Feb 27th, 2008 3:44 PM
My older son is from a previous relationship as well. My husband and I have a 9-month-old together. I do notice a difference in the amount of attention he pays to the two boys. So I have an understanding of what you're going through.
I think you need to give your husband a firm ultimatum, a set time limit in which to change his behavior permanently or he has to leave. Perhaps, it would be helpful if your husband and daughter spend time alone together doing something fun that they'd both enjoy. This way they could experience something enjoyable together on neutral territory and make memories with eachother that not stressful or negative.
Good luck. 

Name: kanga | Date: Mar 9th, 2008 4:17 AM
hello my name is kakak 

Name: Burcu Meydan | Date: Mar 9th, 2008 4:18 AM
Who would i marry with when i grow up? 

Name: Dalissa | Date: Jun 1st, 2008 7:17 PM
im only 9 years and im afraid of my new dad but you have to be patient youll get through just pray to the lord so he can help you 

Name: Fred | Date: Jun 24th, 2008 11:44 PM
I am in a similar sitution but my 18 year old step daughter is a complete brat, how do i know this is because i took care of her and raised her and she turned 18 and moved to her grandma's because she didnt want to obey rules such as moving her car out of her driveway. People constantly come over and ask why she acts like such a brat and mostly to her mom who she gives absolutely no respect to at all, My wife has to buy her to come over and gives her money, Sure she did not grow up in the best family me and our wife had our fair share of fights but the way she acts towards me and my wife is a complete disgrace, she is a cronic ecstacy usual so her moods are always grouch, she has been more troublesome when she is out of our house than in it. i will sometimes invite her for breakfast and she constantly wines and cries and says i dont want that, or you know i dont like that, my wife tried to repair the relationship on numeroous occasions but it just goes in one ear and out the other to the point now my wife does anything to buy her love. So for all the fathers out there you only can do so much for so long and yes you have to be the bigger man but if it doesnt work after several attempts, its time to ignore her or cut her off because it ruins the other people in your life...so before someone says its you or blames the father make sure you find out all the facts first... 

Name: tvchick | Date: Jul 21st, 2008 7:22 PM
I know exactly what you are going through!!! I am in the same position as you are.. I was a single mother of 2 when I met my husband and we dated for 6 years before we got married.. now.. like you say it's an all out war!!!! DAILY!!! I don't know what to do!! 

Name: Jen | Date: Aug 25th, 2008 5:25 PM
My situation is similar. My husband was soooo in love with my daughter and spoiled her until we had our other daughter and son together. He is always yelling at her, talking to her with a tone that sounds like he despises her, basically always talk down to her about her brain size and things like that. My daughter doesn't do things on purpose to antagonize him, she is just a normal young girl that sometimes doesn't think before acting, forgets things, likes to play, etc. I get upset with her sometimes too, but i think he is too much. I told him about how i feel and then he gets upset and just wants to say nothing about raising her. He also said that he doesn't get upset with our children like that because they are younger and dont understand things yet. I don't know what to do. I feel like my daughter is always singled out and treated unfairly alot of times, but my husband doesn't think so. What do i do? 

Name: Amy | Date: Sep 16th, 2008 11:40 PM
This is so sad, I want to know how we can get help. I have the same problem I have read all the posts and it is my life what can we do, im tired of talking to my husband about and my daughter it has to stop, they dont even really talk to each other anymore they ignore one another, she is a good girl and I think that he resents her because she is with us full time and his 2 from previous marriage only 50%.I want to leave for my daughters sake but I also have a son with my husband. Im stuck in the middle. There has to be a solution if anyone has found it please let us know as i feel like im walking on eggshells 24/7 and waiting for the bomb to explode and when it does he also blames my daughter he always brings it back to her even if we arnt talking about her. Lets be strong and do something, he is a great dad and gives them everything but this taument needs to stop. 

Name: Alexis | Date: Sep 17th, 2008 12:30 AM
It is apparent he has an issue not being her real father that he didnt realize until you had on together. He needs to realize that he is her father figure adn he married you full aware that you had a child..treating her differenty will make her shy away from all of the family...including you..I went through the same thing only it was my step mother..I havent seen my father or three step siblings in over two years becuase of her. You need to sit him down and tell him either he treats her equally or he can leave and no tcome back..that sounds harsh but you have to think of yor child..it will effect her in the long run...if she doesnt have the rt male figur enow she later in life as a teen may try to find it in another guy AKA a boyfriend and that can lead to more serious things. I hope this helps a bit...It might also be a good idea to talk with your child and let her know that you care and that you are there for her..and that you want your family to get along...hope something i said helps. 

Name: lee | Date: Jan 20th, 2009 10:40 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I have been with my current husband for fifteen years now and have an 18 year old daughter from a previous marriage. We also have another daughter that is eleven and his. My eldest and him have always been at loggerheads and I know how stuck in the middle and hurt you feel. It is not an easy thing for a man to take on someone elses child, but on the same note, if they marry someone with a child it is their responsibility to treat that child with love and respect. My sticking up for my eldest has caused many fights between me and hubby, and it leaves me feeling very sandwitched and hurt. I think on one side he is just harder on her because she is the eldest and expects more of her. Another thing is personality clash. They do have quite different views and expectation in life and my hubby is not so understanding of anyone that sees things differently. When it comes down to it I think men like to be in control to a point, and when they don't feel so, they begin to act a little childish and unfairly to try and gain some control back. I think the best you can do is nicley voice your opionioin when you think he is being unfair to her, and i also think that many sessions of councilling are needed, not just one or two. This is not behavior that can be changed in a session or two, or a few weeks. If you try everything that you can to get them to understand each others way and behavior and nothing changes, then it is viable to leave. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

regards, Fellow sandwitch. 

Name: Jennifer | Date: Jan 26th, 2009 7:43 PM
I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one with this problem.
My daughter told me the other day that she knows that she should love her dad (he adopted her at 8) but she's sad b/c she finds it hard. My heart dropped. 

Name: cindee | Date: Jan 31st, 2009 12:56 PM
my dad dont have respect for anything i do and am 18 years old he wants things to always be his way and he never has took the time to treat me with love and respect he always want me to go places with him and my mom and sister but when i do he always does something to mess thing up and now that am 18 i feel i know longer have to put up with it and that just gets him more mad what can i do to make my dad understand that he make bad all the time when he always thiks he is right and have to his way. 

Name: chantal | Date: Apr 7th, 2009 1:03 AM
I am going through the same situation taht you are. My daughter is 9 as well...she will be 10 in may. They are constanly at each other throat..she does everything to upset him...And my son doesnt help the situation..He sometimes makes matters worst...I dont have any answer for you but just wanted to tell you that you are not alone...I will be check on this site ofet so if you have any solution please post it and i will do the same Thank you...and hang in there! 

Name: Sandra | Date: Apr 14th, 2009 6:14 AM
I know exactly what you mean. I have a 12 year old from a previous relationship. I was just remarried about 6 months ago and he stays on her about EVERYTHING. He gets onto her about cleaning her room when her room is clean and gets onto her about not doing stupid little things that he doesn't even do himself. Then she gets mouthy with him and he gets back at her. So I have to talk to her about her attitude (even though I feel she's fully justified cause he's so freakin anal it's ridiculous) and then I have to get onto him about what he said to her and how he said it like he's one of my kids or something. It's like I'm always in the middle and it's so distressing. I don't know what to do about it either. 

Name: Kayla | Date: May 16th, 2009 8:59 PM
my stepdad always yellz at me and alwayz makez me do everything and never dose anything to the other kidz....if anyone can help plz send an email to [email protected] plz 

Name: bendare | Date: May 28th, 2009 7:21 PM
no man can ever come into a existing family and make it work without being filthy rich. All step kids need are large sums of money to be good and other than that they will hate him. No exceptions to this rule i have lived both sides to this setup and it sucks no matter. You are both better off alone and never get married to anyone again until the child has aged 40 or 45. This is about the time most kids are wanting to stop breast feeding and want a place of their own. 

Name: Ann | Date: Sep 19th, 2009 10:48 PM
I'm going through something similar. I'm at my wits end and now I'm filing for legal separation. My husband has been with us since my daughter was 2 so she has grown up with him but since we had a daughter together he basically dumped my oldest and treated her like a red-headed step child. She is now 17 hurt and wants nothing to do with him. When he gets angry at her for not giving him the time of day and starts picking on her so we get into big fights. He cant wait for her to leave for college next year and thinks our marriage will heal. However, at this point because of the way he has treated my child I have lost so much respect for him because to me if you love me you love my child and respect my child...so my advice to you is don't let it go on any longer and move on. My mistake is I waited so long. My daughter is hurt and angry and for that I feel like I let her down. 

Name: Sara | Date: Jan 29th, 2010 12:23 AM
Same situation and my husband wants to move which means I give up joint custody of 8yr old to ex. Uggggh hardest thing in the world 

Name: Petals | Date: Sep 14th, 2010 1:29 AM
ROCK AND A HARD PLACE. I have two children from a previous marraige (boy and a girl) my son stayed with his father and my daughter came with me. I have been re-married for 7 years now and have two small children with my husband. My husband and my now 16 year old daughter do not get along, my daughter hates his guts. I love them both and this is killing me. My daughter does not like my husbands controlling personality, it can be a bit much. My daughter does not like the way my husband reprimands his kids, she thinks he is abusive and has called the authorites spewing this claim. My husband is a firm disiplinarian and makes it known. I sometimes feel like he can be to hard on the kids;however, i respect his stance. I would never allow my children to be abused. My daughter wants me to choose bewteen her or my husband. My daughter wants me to leave my husband and has told my family and her bilogical fahter my husband is abusive and she wants to live with him. My daughter has told me she hates my guts for stating with my husband, and that my husband harasses her when i'm not around, then lies to me about it. Our kids adore their father, as do i and would be deeply sadened with his absence. I love my daughter and hate that our relationship had faltered. My husband will not go to counseling, he does not believe in it. My husband wants to be her disciplinarian, my daughter is not having it! i feel like he should just leave her alone and worry about his own kids and let me handle my daughter. My husband feels like its his house and his rules. HELP!!!! 

Name: Jennifer | Date: Oct 20th, 2010 6:58 PM
I know where you coming from. My step daughter that is 9 is a total brat to me depends I do stuff for her buy her stuff and yells at me all the time. I dont know if I dont like her becuase of her ways or she is her mothers child. I hate to put it like that but I dont have recentment towards her because of her mother she looks and acts just like her. Whitch her mother is a total B****. I think that your husnad might have an ger towards her because she is someone else. He might think she is t he only thing stopping your family from being perfect, becaUSE YOU HAVE YOUR CHILD BY HIM TOO. I AM NOT SURE BUT I WOULD DEFENTLY MAKE HIM CHANGE GIVE HIM A DEAD LINE AND IF NO IMPOVEMENT HAPPENS HE ISNT WORTH IT. BUT MAKE IT LIKE 3 MONTHS. 

Name: Emma | Date: Oct 21st, 2010 8:58 AM
I am in exactly the same position. I feel I should leave for the sake of my older daughter from my previous marriage who is being bullied and picked on by my new husband (even though we have now been togehter for 9 years) we now also have a little girl of 6 who adores her Daddy and if I leave it will break her heart. I don't know what to do either 

Name: Crystal | Date: Nov 29th, 2010 12:18 AM
I'm having the same issue, my husband goes and shuts tv off in my daughters room while she us watching it and making her bed??? Why would he just go do that? 

Name: molly | Date: Oct 20th, 2012 8:08 PM
men are just asshole 

Name: molly | Date: Oct 20th, 2012 8:10 PM
sorry mine is anyway 

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