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Name: Observer
[ Original Post ]
i was hoping all of you could help me out. i am married to kind-loving man with a 14.5 year old daughter from a previous marriage. during our time together she has been doing stuff that is consider very inappropriate - she sits on his lap for long periods of time constantly shifting, has strattled his lap directly on his crotch, she lays with her leg directly on his johnson, they slap each other on the butt, she has tried several times to pull down his pants when they are playing tag or are in the pool, they spoon each other and sleeps in our bed when i am away on business travel. when i brought all of this to his attention he accused me of being jealous, but when i pressed the issue and told him she does it with her step dad too he stopped the behavior right away and had a chat with her. although it was a huge adjustment, she is doing much better but slips up once in a while by trying to sit on his lap or spoon with him and he does not correct it until i speak up which always turns into a huge fight. in my mind he is sending a mixed messages, i'll allow it when my wife is not around and when she is here you have to stop; which can lead to other problems. even though they don't do all of the stuff i mentioned above... i recently i noticed that when he talks to her on the phone or instant message he touches himself (discreetly in his own mind but very visible to the rest of the world) by holding on to his johnson or like last night he got a slight woody while taking to her on the phone, which i find disgusting. although i do not think he is a molester i do think there is a degree of sexual attraction between them and i don't know how to bring that up without him blaming me for thinking such sick thoughts. to me if she "affects" her dad like this i can only imagine how her step dad respond and how far things could go with either one of them. please help... do you think she is getting this behavior from someone that is molestering her or is she exploring puberty/sexuality with the two men she is closest to? although i blame the men in this case, especially the dad (as he is getting something out of it too) can someone please tell me how i should deal with all of this? is it better to walk away from the marriage or save the relationship? ps: i am also starting to dislike his daughter and despise their relationship. when she is there i don't want to be around and now that he is 'affected' by her even when she's not there i am starting to resent the man i love and feel like the other woman. please help...
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Name: A Dad | Date: Aug 9th, 2007 11:26 AM
that is called sexual deveit action and he could go to jail,,the father is a sick man and is molesting her, he may not know it but he is a sex offender, I would call cps and report him , you can't blame the girl he is an adult, when he is holding his penis when he is calling her he is masterbating himself 

Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Aug 9th, 2007 2:16 PM
wow.. gross....... 

Name: Observer | Date: Sep 30th, 2007 1:19 AM
Thanks 'a dad' for your reply - I totally agree!! I had a chat with him and pointed everything out and everything has stopped. The only thing now is the fact that she constantly needs attention... she always wants to cuddle with him or me constantly and always wants to be in the middle of us when we are all sitting on the coach. In my mind she is just way TOO needy. Always needs to be told that she is great, hugged and loves to play tag & hide-in-seek with her dad. She is too old for that given that she's almost 15. Her other new thing is that she always has something bothering her (e.g. my foot hurts, I have a headache, my leg hurts and the list goes on) for her father's (or anyone for that matters) attention. I just want to scream frick'in grow up! 

Name: Burn4Me, | Date: Oct 1st, 2007 1:22 PM
omg what a looser, the girl i meam 15 and plays hide n seek with her dad.. shel neva marry at this rate 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Oct 4th, 2007 11:07 PM
oh my, thats not normal behaviour, oh think of what you would do if she was yours and his, I bet you would walk away, she is just a child, I think I.d have to speak to someone about it, what if one cay he got carried away and couldnt stop at these things????? 

Name: Observer | Date: Oct 8th, 2007 10:43 PM
I share with him how everything has made me feel uncomfortable and it turned into a huge argument. i was pissed that we went to her soccer game and out of habot he VERY descreetly placed his hands right below his stomach right above or slight on his privates... and every so often while watching the game i could see him lightly strum or stroke himself. i asked if he was excited and he he said no! he said he was relaxing, watching the game and was wondering what i was talking about. it later esca.lated into a huge argument, he got pissed off and told me that he was perverted, fantasizing about little girls or his daughter, etc and accused me of being sick minded sexually. To all of the men out there... is this a sub-conscious act? More importantly, why do men stroke, tug or touch themselves when not in a sexual situation with their partner? Are they fantasizing, simply adjusting or simply like stoking themselves (like most little boys do)? 


Name: Observer | Date: Oct 8th, 2007 10:46 PM
I share with him how everything has made me feel uncomfortable and it turned into a huge argument. i was pissed that we went to her soccer game and out of habit he VERY descreetly placed his hands right below his stomach right above or slight on his privates... and every so often while watching the game i could see him lightly strum or stroke himself. i asked if he was excited and he he said no! he said he was relaxing, watching the game and was wondering what i was talking about. it later escalated into a huge argument. he got pissed off and told me that he was NOT perverted, fantasizing about little girls or his daughter, etc and accused me of being sick minded and was insulted that i could imply or ask such a thing. To all of the men out there... is this a sub-conscious act? More importantly, why do men stroke, tug or touch themselves when not in a sexual situation with their partner? Are they fantasizing about someone, just adjusting their package or simply like stoking themselves (like most little boys do)? 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Oct 14th, 2007 11:13 PM
Hi observer, are things any better or have you decided what you are going to do? that is a bit strange him carrying on like that at a kids game! I mean are there not any other ways of relaxing yourself than doing that? I really feel for the predicament you are in but I know what I would do! 

Name: joey | Date: Dec 11th, 2007 6:25 AM
mmmm thats hot and sexy 

Name: MARY | Date: Dec 13th, 2007 6:07 PM
MY HUBBY HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE TO OUR DAUGHTER they will lay down together and sleep togethe. I love seeing them so close, she is 13 starting to develope, and she has small breasts and hates to wear a bra so many times while laing on the bed her tee will work its way up and expoae a nipplw. I have seen him run his hand over her breast. I have no problem with it, i love them both, they both love me. How far will it go, i suposse some place down the road they may go all the way, but if they do i know it will be gentle frm him because he loves her. By the way all three of us have slep together and my hubby and i have had sex while she was in bed with us 

Name: D - D | Date: Dec 29th, 2007 7:42 PM
OBSERVER
I can understand your worries about this situation, I have a step daughter of 20 and a daughter of 10, if that went on I would hit the roof! You say she does this with her step-dad as well, have you ever mentioned this to her mum? Maybe a quiet word with her and then you could both have words with the men in the childs life.

MARY
BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUBBY SHOULD BE JAILED! HE IS A PERVERT AND YOU ARE EVEN WORSE FOR ALLOWING IT TO HAPPEN, SOCIAL SERVICES SHOULD TAKE THAT CHILD INTO CARE AND NEVER ALLOW EITHER OF YOU CONTACT AGAIN. YOU ARE SCUM THE PAIR OF YOU. 

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