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Name: thaifley
[ Original Post ]
I have three step children and two of my own from my deceased ex-husband. The oldest step child hates me. She wants her dad all to herself and the funny thing is I was warned in the beginning of this relationship that she would eventually hate me. She has a history of running women off from her father and she has was part of the reason him and his exwife divorced. She was accused of trying to drown her younger step brother and sister in the bath tub. She blames me for her dad and her not having a relationship but the truth is she has kept all of this going for the past 8-months. The week we buried my children's father, we were served notice that her mom was requesting more child support. When they didn't get it, his oldest daughter said she is the one that wanted more money because she wanted to hurt him. She hurt all of us and doens't think she is to blame for anything. I think this ins't fixable and I have even thought of leaving so they can have a relationship.
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Name: Mrs.Robards | Date: Dec 20th, 2009 6:38 PM
She will turn eighteen soon enough. Just kill her with kindness, and talk to your husband about the importance of having father daughter days with her, and as bumpy as it could be, having days where just the three of you go do things together. You just need to show her in these subtle ways that she is the problem distancing her from her father, not him, and not you. They can have a relationship and he can have relationships with you, your children, and his other children. She should also DEFINITELRY be in therapy. If she tried to DROWN someone's children, she has some major issues that a dady day is NOT going to fix. It is sad to say, but maybe nothing can. I have my degrees in Psychology and worked with children who were institutionalized for their violent, and sometimes deadly behavior. Is there any way you can talk to the mother of this child? Surely she does not want her daughter ending up in prison, or being in an unhappy state. Or is she too part of the pronlem? 

Name: txcowgirl71 | Date: Feb 10th, 2010 6:41 PM
I have a total of 3 girls. 2 are mine and the other girl is from my husband first marriage. I am having issues with how he treats his daughter and how he treats my 2 girls. He does not treat all three equally and that burns me up. I have told him countless times you can not treat your daughter differently than my daughters no matter how old they are. He always says he never got to watch his own child grow up and that he could discipline her the right ways. This is not my fault or my girls fault. He is retired military and he was always gone for training excercises so he was rarely home with his child again not our fault. So when it comes to my girls he is much more stricter on them than his own. We put her through cosmotology school for a year and he never discipline her when she got into trouble or didnt clean up her room. So now when my girls get into trouble or dont clean their room like they are suppose to he yells and such at them that it has made my two girls hate their step dad and they see how he has favored his own child over mine. Even though he does love them terrible and would do aything for me we are at this stage now where if i say anything about these issues it hurts him and i have no clue how to fix them. I told him who what when why and such and that he should talk to his step girls and fix this but he wont. I hated to tell him that his step girls hate him but what is one to do. I didnt cause this between him and the girls. I have tried countless times that he has always favored his own child over mine and he says nothing or makes the comments i never got to watch her grow up or she is older than the girls. I say hell with the ages of children when it comes to proper discipline you get busted or into trouble you should pay no matter how old a child is. treat all equally when it comes to discipline. Now what do i do to try to get this loving family back to being normal lovely and not full of hate. 

Name: Barbara | Date: Apr 1st, 2010 12:16 AM
Well I have been marrried to my husband now for 22 years, he had a daughter and I had a daughter when we got together, the girls were about a year apart. I had been married before, and he was just high school sweethearts with his daughters mom. Ever since the girls were little his daughter would come every other weekend, and on the weekends that she got what she wanted it was good, but if something didn't go her way, she would find a way not to come the following time. Well she is now 26 and pregnant, and things still are NO better. She hasn't changed at all... We were always good enough when she was getting clothes, cars, shoes, but now that she IS an "adult" she has decided she NO longer has to speak to me. She claims that "I have made her life miseralbe" It has caused alot of problems with my husband and I and I think that's what she wants. What do I do from here? 

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