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Name: Frustrated Mother
[ Original Post ]
I am a single mother aged 38, engaged to a great man aged 50, who provides everything for myself and my daughter. The only problem in our relationship is that he doesn't get on with my daughter. He is always comparing her to her friends, complains that she asks stupid questions, calling her immature and not normal. She is very clingy and insecure as she has never had her father around and has always had me to herself. This is starting to become an issue in our relationship and I don't know what to do anymore. He calls her names, can't stand it when she asks a question and says she must only ask "intelligent" questions and not ramble on about nothing. Right now I have told my daughter to stay out of his way and vice versa but I constantly feel as if I am playing referee and can never relax. Any advice out there??
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Name: ben | Date: Oct 9th, 2006 8:46 AM
do not marry a man who talks about your dauther the way this man treats your dauther you will never be happy 

Name: sam | Date: Oct 17th, 2006 7:20 PM
at least he does not spank her 

Name: jillw | Date: Oct 17th, 2006 7:57 PM
I agree you have to set some ground rules. You can't allow you child to grow up believing that it is ok for men to speak to her any way the wish or she will end up in a relationship with that type of man. If she is truely immature and anoying then maybe she needs see a a dr and talk with him/her or you need to have a talk with her, but either way him calling her names is not foing to make her grow up and be mature. I have a friend who's sun is really imature and anoying he will say dumb crap like space men are invading you kitchen in robot talk. He is 11 years old and it jsut gets on my nerves because it is not how 11 yr olds need to act. He even gets on my 9yr old nerves, but I just tell him in a nice voice that he has to use his real voice when he talkes to me and that I do not like make believe stories. He also had ADHD so I think that is part of the issue. I would never be mean to him though or call him names it is wrong for your guy to do that. 

Name: kaitlynn1835 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 3:31 AM
If your intended and daughter do not get along, do not get married to this man. Bottom line. When you are a mom, your child always comes first. I know some kids can be petty about the new man or woman in their parent's life, but if your man is the one at fault, then you need to put your daughter first and leave him. The way he is now is not going to change after you two get married, and you will make your daughter miserable. Your happiness means nothing compared to your daughters at this point in time. If your daughter was grown, and not living at home this would be a non-issue, but you need to realize that your happiness is not the important thing at this time. If you do marry him, not onlly will your daughter be unhappy, but you will kick yourself for marrying someone who doesn't love your daughter as you do. Why would you want to marry someone, and bring them into your family, when he doesn't love ALL of you, which includes your daughter. 

Name: kaitlynn1835 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 3:32 AM
I also forgot to mention that how your guy treats her will be her example for future relationships, and she may end up with a complete jerk in adult hood, which I am sure you do not want. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:30 PM
Never choose your man over your child. If he can't get over his jealousy of her and be an adult about the situation then you need to move out or move him out.Don't continue to let him disrespect your daughter like that,it's not fair. 


Name: Been there, mom ruined that. | Date: Oct 20th, 2006 6:50 AM
Get rid of him. A man is only worth it when he koves you and your children for who you are. Tell him to find out wherein his issues lie and get help, or your gone. For his great guy status "What you see is not what you see, its only what you think you see." 

Name: A devoted stepdad | Date: Dec 3rd, 2007 9:47 PM
Your daughter is your only responsibility. I don't care if you have to be alone for the rest of your life, your duty is to your daughter. This man is devastating her emotionally. I have two teenage daughters of my own and it should be evident to you how important selfesteem is to a girl in this day and age. He treats your daughter with respect or he is out of the picture, no compromising 

Name: David - Step dad | Date: Dec 15th, 2007 8:30 PM
Yes it is difficult, but put your self first, do you love him?, does your daughter do things to annoy, without you chastising?, does he do the same? in the end what do you and him want. 

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