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Name: Pam
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Name: Carol | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 8:00 AM
I need some advice. We have my three stepkids over 50% of the time - ages 11, 9, 7. I really work my buns off keeping our family in order (we have an 18 month old also) and I work. I really thought I had a good relationship with them until today. I was running an errand and saw the ex's car, she and two of the stepkids were in it. I saw her start to laugh and they all hid under the dash, etc. I was completely perplexed that she would be so mean and so childish , so I walked right past and said hello so that she had to acknowledge my existence. She did a fake surprised look and very charmingly said hello back - as the two children were coming out of hiding (embarrassed and giggling nervously). All I said was "I thought that was you guys hiding in there," and walked off. I have to say I'm very hurt. There's no room in my life for playground tactics, especially with someone who doesn't want to see her kids for weeks at a time. When these children are in my care - they are so well looked after and loved! In the meantime she's strategizing which relative to fly them off to when her time to be responsible rolls around. Serously, she's going to see them for only two days in the next month. How do I handle this whole hurtful mess? 

Name: stacie | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 7:22 PM
Not many people take the necessary steps to help solve the issues you are currently experiencing. I applaud your outreach to this forum.

I'm actually working with a psychiatrist right now. His name is Dr. Keith Ablow, and based on his experience and likeablity my cpompany has given him a new daytime television show debuting in September. Dr. Ablow is a renowned psychiatrist who's goal is to advise, educate and inform, not to judge or sensationalize. The opposite of Dr.Phil's approach in every way. He's younger, approachable and genuinely interested in helping people strategize and take away tools for a healthier life. You may have seen Dr. Ablow on TV, he's a frequent guest on Oprah, Good Morning America, CNN, etc. as an expert. He was also a practicing psychiatrist in Boston. To find out more about Dr. Keith please visit www.keithablow.com

I'd love to hear more about your story and you're under no obligation to appear. You can reach me toll free at 1-888-372-2569 ext 4347 or email me at [email protected] 

Name: Amanda | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 7:33 PM
I actually need help...sorry not much of a reply...My problem is I have a 10 month old Stepson...long story and my child is 5 months old. My Stepson is starting to learn words and I wanted to give myself a name until he is old enough to give one to me, but I do not feel comfortable being called by my first name. Any suggestions would be great...I have looked everywhere! 

Name: ryan | Date: Jul 28th, 2006 3:01 PM
mom 

Name: momof3 | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 12:10 AM
I have a step-son who was 10 months old when I met my husband. He just started calling me Mom when he started to talk. We tried to teach him my name and he would say "no, Mom". My husband finally said "He sees you as a mom, we will let him call you that" The only reason we tried to teach him my name was out of respect for his mother. She was very angry to find out that he called me that, now that he is older he still calls me mom. but knows to address me by name to his mother. I would say, let him call you what he wants! Good luck 

Name: ComfortBear | Date: Sep 15th, 2006 2:47 AM
Hi, I am very happy for you Pam, I plan to begin my life with a man who has a daughter from a previuos relationship. I know it will not be so blissful. The mother is very angry and vengful. When she has an argument with the father or just has a bad day she calls the daycare and atempts to keep the father from picking up his daughter or for me to wave to her from the other side of the fence. Will this ever change?, I have a gut feeling that it won't because the mother won't, take care of her underlying issues. I feel so helpless, I am engaged to this man, threfore I have no legal "rights" when it comes to comforting this little pink and pretty 5 yearold. I feel so sad and I feel that my hands are tied.... this little girl really needs me.... 


Name: terri | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 2:34 AM
I HAVE A STEP DAUGHTER THAT IS CONSTANTLY LYING AND CAUSING TROUBLE. SHE HAS DECIDED SHE WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH HER MOTHER WHO HAS NEVER REALLY WANTED HER. SHE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO BE ATTENTION REGUARDLESS WHETHER IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGITIVE. ANY SUGGESTIONS. 

Name: Christine | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 8:26 PM
You are very lucky. My husbands ex has done nothing but make trouble for us for 8 years.,and she broke up the marriage for another man. I have 2 step daughters 11 & 14. 

Name: Becca | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 2:10 AM
Dear Lara,
i am in a so very similar situation as you i would like to chat on line with you if it is possible i think we could be good for each other as i am a family of seven RE- my partner , me , daughter 11 son 8 and three step children girl 12 love her son 10 love him and a boy of 9 who i dont like and probibly never will by his choice not mine he is a very cruel mean smart mouth little boy and he has told me he will like this till his father sends him away which will not happen even deep down in side i would be gald to see the back of as he is affecting the other childrens time with us and my children dont know whats going on as they have always been in a happy family my husband and i have never had huge loud fights until now he has told me he doesnt care that he is destroying our family and that the kids are missing out on their dad for he is so high maintenence dad has no time left at the end of the evening for the others .thier is alot more to this story but would really like to chat online . short version he has treatened his own brother with a calving knife wjile he was sleeping and stabbed the pillow he has grabbed a can of mower fuel and lighter and ran towards my son saying he will burn him in hell he does this all when father is not home and when father is home he turns into a little 5 year old that needs to be told to have shower told to brush teeth told to eat properly i am at my wits end as his father and i fight every time i discuss what is going on as the father knows i dislike him and thinks it is me making trouble if the other kids tell him about the child he thinks i told them to tell him those things and that they are making them all up . i must mention that he hasnt seen this child since he was 18 months old where as the 2 step children have grown up with him and have said he was always like to with mum i thnk thats why she gave him up but the other 2 were taken to and givin to us 10 months ago ??? i will send my msn addy if you would like to chat more as i feel for as in same same situation take care rebecca. 

Name: Becca40 | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 4:18 AM
Dear Tiara,
When i read your story it was like reading about my own life that is what i am living at the moment ,would be good if we could chat online it was so surreal to read as it was my life in writing please post a reply . Becca 

Name: sexy mom | Date: Aug 8th, 2007 7:24 PM
I am very happy for you Pam, I plan to begin my life with a man who has a daughter from a previuos relationship. I know it will not be so blissful. The mother is very angry and vengful. When she has an argument with the father or just has a bad day she calls the daycare and atempts to keep the father from picking up his daughter or for me to wave to her from the other side of the fence. Will this ever change?, I have a gut feeling that it won't because the mother won't, take care of her underlying issues. I feel so helpless, I am engaged to this man, threfore I have no legal "rights" when it comes to comforting this little pink and pretty 5 yearold. I feel so sad and I feel that my hands are tied.... this little girl really needs me 

Name: sexy pregnent step mom | Date: Aug 8th, 2007 7:25 PM
Dear Lara,
i am in a so very similar situation as you i would like to chat on line with you if it is possible i think we could be good for each other as i am a family of seven RE- my partner , me , daughter 11 son 8 and three step children girl 12 love her son 10 love him and a boy of 9 who i dont like and probibly never will by his choice not mine he is a very cruel mean smart mouth little boy and he has told me he will like this till his father sends him away which will not happen even deep down in side i would be gald to see the back of as he is affecting the other childrens time with us and my children dont know whats going on as they have always been in a happy family my husband and i have never had huge loud fights until now he has told me he doesnt care that he is destroying our family and that the kids are missing out on their dad for he is so high maintenence dad has no time left at the end of the evening for the others .thier is alot more to this story but would really like to chat online . short version he has treatened his own brother with a calving knife wjile he was sleeping and stabbed the pillow he has grabbed a can of mower fuel and lighter and ran towards my son saying he will burn him in hell he does this all when father is not home and when father is home he turns into a little 5 year old that needs to be told to have shower told to brush teeth told to eat properly i am at my wits end as his father and i fight every time i discuss what is going on as the father knows i dislike him and thinks it is me making trouble if the other kids tell him about the child he thinks i told them to tell him those things and that they are making them all up . i must mention that he hasnt seen this child since he was 18 months old where as the 2 step children have grown up with him and have said he was always like to with mum i thnk thats why she gave him up but the other 2 were taken to and givin to us 10 months ago ??? i will send my msn addy if you would like to chat more as i feel for as in same same situation take care rebecca. = 

Name: Carrie | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 6:05 PM
I am 40. I am concerned it will be difficult to conceive. 

Name: Tina | Date: Sep 24th, 2007 6:05 PM
Don't worry. You can get pregnant at 40. 

Name: carol | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 10:28 PM
i love my step kid but sometimes i get really jeolous when my boyfriend plays with him his ex is a mouth cow who constantly causes trouble 

Name: cerie | Date: Jan 24th, 2008 4:18 PM
thats realy great for you and your husband. but my problem is my stepson and his real mother do meth together.so we fight all the time.there are 5 step kids all together. The ages are 11,12,19,21,23 and it's hard.the 19yr old totaly hates me.the youngest ones11&12 yr old we got full custody of because the my husbands ex-wife is and does her kids. she puts every thing and everybody befoe them. 

Name: rach | Date: Mar 12th, 2008 2:03 PM
I am 32 weeks pregnant. due in may 08. and I have step daughter she is 5 yr old.. every time when she gets here.. and she makes faces and all that whenever I asked her to do not to do those things and she whines and cries telling daddy that i am being mean to her which i am not!!!!!!!!!! she is being a brat and a spoiled kid. and i found out that her mother told her not to listen to me at all.... Which drives me nuts. and when she stays here for a night or during the weekends.. she never listen when i told her to pick up her toys off the floor when I have chores to do around the place. and she make faces and smirks and i get really frustrated and. father... just sayin stop .. stop .. enough stop.. stop making faces. when he turned his head around and she makes faces.. no matter what.. I was like about.. walk off.. and leave the place..... and uh.. she disrespects me. and now on.. when she kept doing those things daddy have to take of her toys and tv and dvd movies put up... but did he? he did not.. and still. and I have to do it myself.. which he wont let me to do.. and she thinks that i am stealing her toys and I said no.. YOU the one who arent listening to me so you are not getting anything from me. PLEASE GOD JUST HELP ME! SICK OF THAT BRAT KID TREATING ME CRAP EVERY TIME SHE'S HERE! 

Name: chris | Date: Apr 10th, 2008 1:54 AM
hi there i have problem my ex bf took my kid from me and now im fighting with him and the courts to get my kid back help me please 

Name: deb0508 | Date: Apr 10th, 2008 4:09 PM
Wow how I wish we were in the same place as you. I have two step children and I love them dearly. They are like my own. However their mom is unbelieveable. Jessica just passed away from a three year battle of cancer. She was like my own child. I have been blessed to have her in my life since she was 3 months old. She was 9 when she became an angel. Her mom wants all the control and is always always causing problems. 

Name: extraordinarycoper | Date: Apr 17th, 2008 4:43 PM
u r very lucky...I am going through a hard time with my family due to scheduling and lack of communication on the part of my husbands ex. She refuses to communicate and we have never met so I am basically on call as to scheduling. Her daughter is not even allowed to mention me even though I am the one taking care of her half the time.!!! 

Name: son | Date: May 13th, 2008 6:24 AM
mommy daddy? 

Name: Sue | Date: Jul 29th, 2008 3:11 PM
I am a stepmom and the ex wants to have a birthday party with my us for my stepson. However I am leery because she is manipulative and a month ago we put him in a reading class that cost over 350.00 and she didnt want to contribute because it wasn't her idea, yet her son is 8 years old going in the first grade and still struggles, so her priorities are really not on the same page as my husbands and myself. She than proceeded to tell me that it wasnt a good idea we spoke on the phone, yet she wants to have a bday party?? Help 

Name: Teena | Date: Aug 10th, 2008 2:47 PM
Help.. stepson seem keep trying to separate me and his father when we try to hug or kiss or cuddle, even though he likes hurt me by hitting me and rough physically. Help!?! how to solve that, we just been together for one month and try to live together with other two 5 years old stepdaughters. 

Name: jackie | Date: Oct 23rd, 2008 7:26 PM
I am step mother and I have step- mom who is good person.I being step mom is so important but to my husband not big deal.This kids being raised by grandmother who raises these kids. It mostly drives crazy knowing the mother gets child support and little money to the grandmother.My husband and i try to help, but we can not make it money wise to survive. 

Name: Ali | Date: Apr 9th, 2009 1:44 PM
I am in a blended family. My boyfriend has two girls from a previous relationship 6 & 8 we also had his step daughter for 3 out of the 4 years we have lived together. Well, after we bought our home I wanted a baby. Two years later we did. Ever since our son was born I feel I lost feelings for the two girls. I am resenting them. Before the baby I was able to handle caring for them and focusing on them. Now, I just get so tired after work and get frustrated with the situation I am in. My boyfriend and I are thinking of buying a bigger home in a couple of years, but in the back of my mind I feel that I would be happier getting a condo for me and my son. I think of splitting up, but I hate thinking of splitting my time with my son. I'm really confused and need to make the right decision for my baby. 

Name: LISSY | Date: May 7th, 2010 1:31 AM
MY BOYFRIEND HAS ANOTHER BABY ON THE WAY AND I CANT BARE TO GET IT THROUGH MY HEAD , WHAT CAN I DO ? 

Name: janice | Date: Jul 19th, 2010 8:35 AM
Well you are very lucky that bio mom is cool mine is crazy! Congrats on your baby I have never had one of my own! 

Name: Tracy | Date: Sep 3rd, 2010 4:54 PM
Your so lucky that you have an appreciative ex wife to deal with. Not all of us are that lucky. 

Name: Just call me dude | Date: Oct 2nd, 2010 7:25 AM
The is amazing,you can show love to your little stepson,i'm sure the love an affection you give now will earn you a place of respect as he grows older.i always hate hearing about the step parent claiming to "hate" their stepchild,it's really a pathetic statement on their part to hate or be jealous of a little kid,then try to make his life a living hell or make the dad choose between them or the kid....then the dad picks the woman because he's a worthless POS...so i suppose he's a perfect match for her....that ladies and gentlemen is the beginning of a life of hatred and serial killing for some kids......anyway,i applaud you young lady,wish there was more like you. 

Name: Michelle | Date: Mar 11th, 2011 6:29 PM
stepmom to 2 kids- 14yo and 11yo
mother to 3 kids- 3yo d (w/current husband) 11 yo boy & 8 yo boy (from previous marriage) 

Name: Krissy | Date: Apr 26th, 2011 6:46 PM
I'm a gay woman that is a step parent and am having a really rough time with our 8th grade daughter. She hates me!! And it is breaking my heart!! I love her so much and put alot of money, time and energy into the family and truely dont know what i should do anymore. I like to get the kids nice things and all i expect is the kids to do good or atleast try to do good in school. My 8th grader like nice stuff ipods laptop season passes to amusment parks but it is very hard to get this for a kid that put on her facebook that she hates me and wants me dead. What do I do just back off and let mom handle it . She never does wrong in moms eyes and mom let everything slide till its too late. like right now she is just about to fail out of 8th grade!! This is killing me I just want the best for her. HELP thewn this will turn into a me n mom battle What to do???? 

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