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Name: Lucy

[ Original Post ]

My husband and I just bought a bigger house to accomadate our growing family (three kids with twins on the way). A few months ago, my husband brought up the idea of his mother moving in with us. He talked about in a "one day, many years from now" kind of way. Well, long story short, "many years from now" is actually now. As wonderful as his mom can be she can be a bit pushy. He knows I can only take so much of her but now I'm going to have to take her all the time. He keeps pointing out how handy it will be to have her around, to help out with the kids, etc. I just feel like I'm going to have a mother telling me what to do all the time. Am I being selfish? Should I set some ground rules before she moves in? I don't know of anyone else who has had a parent move in with them so any insights from people who have extended family living with them would be great. Thanks. ↓

Name: ReBecca | Date: Jun 13th, 2005 8:38 PM

The exact same thing happened to me about four months after my husband and I moved across the street from my mother-in-law. Before I knew it, she had sold her house and moved in with us! Needless to say, I wasn't pleased. It was a rocky road for us, so let me give you a few tips to help you out along the way. If you have the money, build a separate apartment for her. Believe me, she will love this as much as you will, and it won't feel like she's living with you so much. If this isn't an option, have a conversation with her. Tell her up front that you are in charge and you should be making the decisions regarding the house and kids. If you aren't around, then grandma can be second in line. Most of all, you'll find that grandma just wants to stay useful and young at heart. If she has any talents, like sewing, cooking, etc ask her to create something for you or the kids. Take advantage of her knowledge of the family and get her to spend "grandma time" with the kids. Most grandparents know that multi-generational families can be difficult, but they can also be one of the most warm and rewarding ever. Just lay some ground rules in place. ↑

Name: Lisa | Date: Aug 16th, 2007 6:39 AM

mother in laws are great...that is the farther away they live. most mean well but in the end that is there little boy and as a mother you know that the mothering never stops. I have a brand new little girl and my husband and i are currently living with my mom (my choice) she is helpful but at times its hard for my husband to feel as if we are in charge so knowing how he feels its easier for me to see where you are coming from...and I think if you are honest with him he will be more appreciative than if it turns into a resentment sort of thing. Then again I could be way off base...just a thought ↑

Name: cjsims | Date: Jan 16th, 2008 7:00 PM

OH, HELL NO!! My mother in law would NEVER move into my hubby and I's home. My own mother would never move into my home! Neither of them would never be allowed to move in. Never. My mom makes stupid comments about EVERYTHING, and the hubbys mom is nosy, and thinks everyone wants her opinion. So, basically, one of them would probably get smacked if we had to share a home with them all the time. ↑