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Name: jshubert
[ Original Post ]
I am 44yrs old w/ 19yr old boy & 12yr. girl. His daughter lives with us 4-5 days a week every week. She is 10yrs old. somewhere arly on my husband decided that I am his wife, not a step"parent". I have no say so at anything.....not even something as simple as table manners. I am passively told to stay out. If I displayed unhealthy parenting around her, I would fully understand his decision. however I believe that I am repected by friends and my exhusband as a good parent. My husband and I have exact opposite schedules as do the kids(small overlap) Everything else is the prioirty and when sacrifice is needed its never taken away from his time with her, its our tiny tiny blocks of time. From Mon -Friday they are stuck together. Literally. I have maybe 1-2hrs a day to chat and thats it. I have been living in this situation for 5+ years and I now am at the point I cant stand to go home when she is home. She is at the age where she appears to play games. to ave absolutely no influence or vice in the situation has made me recentful. Am I normal? I am so tired of killing myself to afford the home we do and all the "extras" I do for her and having no respect from him or her.
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Name: Ti | Date: Feb 7th, 2008 2:41 AM
I can sympathize with your situation. I am married and have my own 11y/o daughter and my husband has a 9y/o and 6y/o girls who he has joint custody of. We have the girls every other week for a week at a time. My husband is wonderful and the girls are too. We are very close and they love me as much as I love them. They are though always seeking attention from my husband/their dad which I understand but it leaves very little for he and I as a couple. Every night after dinner we all sit together in the living room and his two girls sit on his lap the whole time. while I am squished in the corner of the love seat. I know it sounds a bit selfish and then again maybe not. The girls definitely need his attention, I understand, but if he and I cannot keep the connection as a couple then where does that leave us? Also, his ex-wife, the bio-mom, has always tried to get at me in various underhanded ways and I am so tired of it but I feel she is not going to change and I have another 10+ years of this to look forward to. 

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