Hello, guest
Name: hailey78
[ Original Post ]
I am a single mom to 3 boys, who are 9, 6, and 4. Last year I met an amazing man, who has 2 little girls, who are 8 and 5. Life has been great, and we are so very happy together...the ring is on my finger, and we have spent the last 6 months looking forward to beginning and building our lives together. However, we have come to a huge bump in the road, and I don't know what I should do.

When I got divorced 3 years ago, I decided the best course of action for me was to get back into school, and pursue becoming a pharmacist, which has been my dream for as long as I can remember. I have worked SO HARD for this during the past 3 years, and it has finally paid off. It has now become a reality, and I have been accepted to a pharmacy school 9 hours away. I feel like this would be in the best interest of my kids and I, it would secure our future financially, and I could finally get off of government assistance and onto my own 2 feet again!

Just so there is no confusion, I should mention here that my fiance is a hard worker, but he only makes 38,000 a year, and 800 a month goes to child support. He is in no way financially stable enough for me to assume I will have no financial worries once we get married. I need to establish a career not only for my boys and I, but for a future with him as well.

My fiance does not want to leave his girls here, and move with me to pharmacy school. He also does not want to ask me to give up pharmacy school and stay here with him.

I don't want to expect him to leave his girls, but don't feel I should be expected to give up pharmacy school...my dream, and the stability that would give my kids and I...and a future with him for the rest of our lives.

I am catching myself feeling like he should come with me. If we have made a decision to build a life together, then he should be willing to support me in this, because it would benefit us both in the long run. I in no way expect him to forget about his girls, and just move on without them. I agree that every sacrifice should be made while we are away for him to see his girls as often as it is possible...even if that means taking out additional student loans and forking out money for a round trip plane ticket every other weekend. But, he is seeing it as me expecting him to choose between me and his girls...and he says that isn't a very loving act on my part. Am I being selfish?

What do we do? I need some third party, unbiased advice. Should him being close by his girls be most important, or should me pursuing my life-long dream and establishing a stable financial future be most important?
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