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I am 22 years old ... my fiance is 32. We have a 3 month old baby girl and I also have a 15 year old step daughter and an 11 year old step son... did I mention I am 22??!! haha My step kids live with us, as their mom left about 7 years ago but they do see her again now on occasion... my fiance often asks what I have to be stressed about... does anyone else out there understand why I find my life a bit overwhelming?? ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 21st, 2007 4:21 PM |
| You shouldn't really be stressed as long as his kids respect you and treat you as a parent figure. However,if they do not respect you then you have a problem! ↑ |
| Name: stepmom19 | Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 2:44 AM |
| Thanks for your reply... and thanks for being honest :) I suppose you are right ... stepkids aren't stressful .... I love them both as much as love my own little girl. I guess its not them thats the hard part, its the dealing with an ex wife and a divorce that is still in the process... and the age factor only comes in because being 22... I dont have many... or any friends who are in the same situation... so its tough to find support when its needed... I guess thats why Im here :) ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Jan 29th, 2007 5:27 PM |
| lol I can totally relate I am 25 and my husband is 40 and I have a step daughter who just turned 17 she lives with us also my 9 and 7 year old live with us and im also 9 months pregnant ↑ |
| Name: stepmom19 | Date: Jan 30th, 2007 8:27 AM |
| WOW ... thank you! haha Its sooo nice to hear someone with relatively the same story... how long have you been together? How did you overcome the overwhelming part...? ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Jan 30th, 2007 2:51 PM |
| we have been together for 2 1/2 years. I havent overcome the overwhelming part I dont think it completely goes away. I think the hardest part of it is dealing with the ex wife. My husband ex wife is always trying to get some kind of trouble stirred up. And I love my step daughter like my own and we get along but her mom manipulates her so bad for example we have her on our cell phone plan well her mom got to keep her for 2 weeks over x-mas well she took her to Florida. Well evertime Ash put her phone down she would use it or her husband would and ash would catch her and say dont use my phone I can only use it here for emergencies and her mom would give her some sob story and she would let her use it long story short for those 2 weeks in flordia we got a 650.00 phone bill just from ash's phone,. if i wasnt pregnant I would have went drinking lol ↑ |
| Name: stepmom19 | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 11:27 PM |
| Hey Tanya ... I hear ya on the drinking part! lol When we got pergnant with our baby girl we had only been dating for 3 months... imagine THAT 9 months, trying to get a house in regular order, the other 2 kids just getting older and everything that comes with that... and not being able to drink! haha That sucks about the cell phone! And I hear you loud anc clear about the ex wife who tries to stir the pot! Lanes ex left him and the kids about 7 years ago. She is now in their lives again and is a half decent person I suppose. Her house is a safe place to be so I dont worry at all when they are there, she doesnt treat them badly at all and I suppose she has grown up over the years... but just a bitch. SO full of herself and its just always something else with her. The guy she left Lane for... they neevr believed in marriage... until we were pregnant, and then they set the wedding date for the same day that Karleigh (my daughter) was due! They couldnt even have a proper wedding because the divorce isnt final, she always has some problem with it and wont sign the papers for one reason or another and has never paid child support. Also... as soon as we got engaged (this C'mas) she announced... shes pregnant! And shes due right around the same time as Karleighs birthday again... shes just evil... cant handle that her ex husband is now successful and finally happy I suppose. So... thats enough of a story for now I guess haha... when is your due date?? Do you know what you are having? ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Feb 1st, 2007 12:26 PM |
| stepmom, its ex wives like our guys that give ex wives a bad name lol I feel for you on your situation Mike's ex is a evil bitch too.Im due Feb 8th and Im having a little boy we are naming him Keegan Im so excited I cant wait. Mike and his ex wife have been divorced for 15 years and she just cant stand for Mike to be happy so she is always starting stuff. If I was your guy I would take her to court for back child support and weekly support for the kids now. My ex is supposed to pay me child support and he didnt but since I had a court order for it he is in jail for not paying ↑ |
| Name: stepmom19 | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 4:45 PM |
Hey ... I wonder if you've had your baby yet!!
If so ... welcome to the world little keegan, and if not.. good luck :)
Ya... ex's like ours do give them a bad name, thats for sure. Lane and I were just away for the weekend and I had to meet her.... shes just what I expected... even said to me ... "you're april right??" ... ive talked to this woman about 1000 times... she knows who I am!! haha ... just a peice of work, honestly. And gave lane a big hug... ohhhh you look sooo good I havent seen you in soooo long.... GAG lol
Anyway... what can we do hey??
So how do you and your husband go about parenting with both sets of kids?? do you distinguish between your kids and his kids in any ways? or just parent all together as "our" kids .... i know that is easier said than done... we try our best to make it "our' kids but sometimes you can see a very distinct line between his kids... and our kid... its tough... ahhh step parenting is such fun sometimes!!
well hope all is well with you... and new baby boy :) ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 12:36 PM |
| Hi step mom sorry I havent gotten a chance to get on here I went sunday night during the super bowl to be induced and you know what I was already in labor and didnt know it lol I had little Keegan monday at 11:24 am I had a easy labor and delivery and he is such a good baby he never cries I had to stay in the hospital a little longer since I had my tubes tied To awnser your question we discipline our children as our kids we dont treat them any different. even though my kids will push him a little more then me my husbands ex one night called at 11 and told my husband that he needed to pay her cause when she has ashley its hard to make ends meet and Mike told her he was paying her crap and if she couldnt make it when she had ash then she didnt need to have her. She needs to stop buying drugs with every dime she gets. anyways we are gonna take her to court. the first time he went to court with her he had a crappy lawyer who didnt do anything and was overpaid this time we are using my lawyer and he will eat her alive he got my ex husband pretty good lol as for your guys ex she is the type of woman (it sounds like) that you just want to smack around I hope things are going better for you hope to hear from you soon take care ↑ |
| Name: stepmom19 | Date: Feb 10th, 2007 11:33 PM |
Hi Tanya... congrats!!
Aww easy labour... I dont know what thats like haha... but its nice to hear that it does happen! :)
How much did little Keegan weigh?? So good to hear he is good and doesnt cry... Karleigh was the same way, shes such a good baby... Im very lucky with her. How are you feeling?? HOws was the tubes tied part of it? Probably pretty minor compared to what you had just gone through hey?
Ya... Lanes ex is definitely the type you just want to slap haha but is is getting a bit better... although it seems to go kind of up and down, sometimes better, sometimes not... but all in all its not bad. Its not constant stress or anything which is good.
Im glad to hear you discipline the kids as your own... I believe that way too and I find it frusterating when you hear people say "dont try to be their parent" or about how you can just be their friends.... wouldnt that be nice?? haha ... there comes a time when you cannot just be a friend, as much as that would be great.
Sounds like your husbands ex is a real delight too hey? Yikes... we havent had to go through any courts so far so that is a blessing... but the divorce is still in prgress... and as far as HER child support goes, she has been paying a tiny bit, but nothing compared to what she really owes... once the divorce is done, that will be put into place for sure, and I dont think Lane will go after her for backpay... just not worth it at this point... but you never know, if she keeps pushing... we will just push back! haha
Well thats all for now... hope to hear from you soon... if you want to send me an email its [email protected]
take care of you and that lil guy! ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Feb 15th, 2007 3:00 AM |
| hi stepmom little keegan weighed in at 8 pounds 7 ounces and was 22 inches long he was a good size baby lol how is your home life going? step parenting has its good days and bad its the case of the ex's that sucks.here is my e-mail if you like to here is my email addy [email protected] we can contact each other that way. by the way where are you from? im in indiana ↑ |
| Name: needshelp | Date: Jun 18th, 2007 5:03 AM |
| my boyfriend, is seperated from his soon to be ex, i wasnt the cause of the divorce i met him after they were seprated. my question is this, she has a daughter from a previous relationship. he has raised her since she was very young. she told him that it was his responsibilty to tll her he wasnt her biological father. i was in the same boat (i have no children by the way) my mother told me when i was like 12 or 13 that he was not my dad, but he loves me just them same as my brother and sister. i was upset but i got over it. now i told him that it was the mother's responsibilty to tell her child. did i give him wrong advice? ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: Jul 1st, 2007 2:55 AM |
| what exactly is overwhelming you. You are a little young to have three children. That is probably why your stressed. You can work through it give me an email I would be more than happy to try an help you. I had a son before I got married so I know all about the step parent thing. So if you would like to talk [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Natasha1 | Date: Aug 10th, 2007 1:22 PM |
| Dont be stresssed out, I understand my blokes daughter comes to stay wiv us every 2 weeks and its hard for me i no it sounds bad but it is knowin that he dont want anymore kids and says that e has his daughter and dnt want anymore children and were meant 2 b gettin married were engaged to be engaged! How long have u been with your bloke? ↑ |
| Name: sabandivans | Date: Oct 6th, 2007 3:07 PM |
| i am in a similar situation i was 18 when i got together with my husband he had kids too and was 12 years older than me we had loads of problems with the kids and now i am 27 and have 18 year old step-daughter who has just had a baby and is now in foster care we are busy fighting for him to live with us he also has a 12 year old who lives with us and i now have 3 kids of my own to my husband ↑ |
| Name: pup | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 2:20 PM |
| You have a lot to be stressed about!! just having to deal with the mother. How do you and the children get along? I have a 11-year old step son who would rather be with me than his mother. That doesn't go over to well with her. So she really makes it hard for me. ↑ |
| Name: amers | Date: Jan 19th, 2009 10:54 AM |
| I am 28 and have been raising my step son since he was 7 months old. I am fighting for step-parent rights. The thought of having my step-son ripped from my arms because i am a step-parent, and given back to a un fit mom who hase a bad background. Just makes me sick, it should matter that I have raised him, since he was a baby, it suposed to be what is in the best interest of the child, but even though I am what is in his best interest I cant keep him because I am a step parent. ITS NOT RIGHT. HELP FIGHT TO GET THE BILL PASSED ↑ |
| Name: Katy | Date: Mar 14th, 2009 6:21 AM |
| How do i get along with my 9 yr old step son? Me and his dad have been togethter for over 3 yrs now and when i thought things were getting better they got worse. ↑ |
| Name: shay | Date: Mar 19th, 2009 8:19 PM |
| i understand! im 23 and my husband is 38. i have a 14 year and 11 year old step-daughters. and i know exactly how you feel. me and the 14 year old just now get along and now it seems i am going through the same thing with the 11 year old. my e mail address is [email protected] if you ever need to talk! ↑ |
| Name: RaRaa03 | Date: Apr 23rd, 2009 5:56 PM |
| well my father was 41 wen he married his 31yr old wife. to be honest i was completely happy for him and we tried to treat her with complete respect but it didnt turn out, she was a selfish women who didnt try to accept us as a part of my dad. i currently dont speak to my father because hes chosen one family...??? you dont seem like that type of women so im sure they love and respect you like a mother. if his ex is in the picture and is causing trouble, well i dont kno wut to say. she needs to grow up and get over him. good luck. ↑ |
| Name: heartbroken | Date: Aug 10th, 2009 11:04 PM |
| I totally understand. I'm 33 and I have a mentally retarded stepson (12) and a smart mouth stubborn stepdaughter (8). I have 1 year old twins with my husband. We have his kids with us two weekends a month, every other holiday, and all summer long. He thinks it should be easy for me. He has no clue. Their evil mother brainwashes them and poisons their minds about me and my husband. She coaches them on how they should feel about me. ↑ |
| Name: sopie | Date: Sep 6th, 2009 2:35 AM |
| how to tell my child that her father abandoned us? ↑ |
| Name: celeste | Date: Sep 20th, 2009 3:31 PM |
| i'm 22 with a 1yr old son i also have a 11 yr old step son but the state took him from his mother and gave him to his aunt his guardians dont want to let his dad and i see him i found them and contacted them she left without telling the dad{my husband } she was pregnant later she told him that he had a kid but he couldn't see him we've been looking for him for yrs we pay child support how should we approach this sittuation ↑ |
| Name: hopefull | Date: Oct 17th, 2009 12:16 AM |
| Just wondering what to do about feeling like my wife is aggrevated by son all the time. He is very well behaved and very respectful. I dont know if its me just being over protective or over reacting. ↑ |
| Name: LoobyLou1977 | Date: Nov 5th, 2009 2:07 PM |
| Yes i know exactly where your coming from, im 32 no kids of my own but 3 step kids by 2 different mums...........one 18 one 10 and one 8 just been out on another course of antidepressants and he thinks life is rosy, we have been marrid 2 years and were only together 5 months prior to getting married........ ↑ |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Apr 16th, 2010 10:05 PM |
| I completely understand. I am 23 years old. My live in boyfriend is 37 and has a 6 yr grl and a 4 yr old grl. ↑ |
| Name: jayne2874 | Date: Sep 6th, 2010 12:49 AM |
| My 15 year old has moved out to live with his grandmother because he doesnt get along with his step dad ↑ |
| Name: omarrah | Date: Sep 26th, 2010 1:55 PM |
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| Name: stacey | Date: Apr 11th, 2011 3:02 AM |
| Absolutely I can see why your stressed you don't get the time to enjoy your baby girl and fiance, because his kids are always there. Good luck. ↑ |
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