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Name: SmilyJ
[ Original Post ]
My son is twelve years old, and has been living with diagnosed autism for five years. He has a difficult time varying from routine, and spends alone, playing and talking to himself. I have been taking him to speech therapy and special needs classes for years now. Though I see an improvement and know how to handle my son, I am worried for his future. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer and worry that I won't be able to hold out to look after my son. I had planned on being around a long time, to help my son in his adult years, but that may not happen now. I am a single mom, with no one else to help look after my boy. Can anyone offer some advice?
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Name: melanie | Date: Jun 16th, 2005 3:08 AM
I am very sorry to here that, i also have a son with autisim, and wounder about his future everday ..... it is very nerve wreking. i suggest you look into every possible thing out thier , there is alot of very good assted living centers out thier, all you can really do is check in to every thing possible and go with your gut feelings about them, have you looked into respite house? contact you local community mental health buliding and see if they can point you in the right direction.. i will keep you and your son in my prayers.................melanie feel free to e mail me if you like
[email protected] 

Name: Sheri | Date: Jun 23rd, 2005 12:43 AM
Well I cried when I read your story, the only thing I can tell you is God provides, and he will bring alot of blessings to your 's & your sons life it may not seem like it right now, but I have watched alot of heartache in my own life they for the life of me could not explain why or how it could happen all at once, but if you do any thing please stay hopefull & thankfull & Everyday I ask God to give me Grace & i know he provides, Godbless, Sheri 

Name: anitha thomas | Date: Jun 24th, 2005 4:07 AM
I would like to know whether at the age of 35 is it dangerous to concieve and would any complication take place at this age 

Name: Irene | Date: Jun 27th, 2005 12:32 AM
Please go to your county mental heath agency and tell them your problems. I am sure they will have some answers for you. There are special scools that are funded through your school district. I don't know where you live but maybe you can find out on the internet or at your school district. I was also a single mom raising my autistic son. I had 3 children older than him and one younger when my husband died.At that point I had already looked into the special school because our local school district could not handle him in the classroom. He went away to school at 6. It broke my heart to leave him there but I knew that it was best for both of us.He came home at for holidays and vacations. I know there is help out there. Good luck, and God bless you both. 

Name: mandy | Date: Jun 29th, 2005 11:50 PM
This breaks my heart! Let me see if I have this correct, your son was diagnosed with autism at age 6? That is a late diagnosis, but all of the intervention you have applied throughout the years has no doubt helped. Keep on the path that you are on, I am sure with your love and patience, he will be able to take care of himself oneday. I know now that sounds far-fetched, however, it is probable. 

Name: Irene | Date: Jul 1st, 2005 1:41 AM
No my son was diagnosed finally at about 3. I knew that something was wrong at about 18 months. I took him to our local Easter Seals society (Helping Hands). We started early intervention there at 18 months. I was told to take him to get a sleeping hearing test. That rulled out deafness. I was then sent to a neurologist who sent us to a psychiatrist who in turn sent us to a child behaviorial specialest. We finally got a diagnosis.By that time he was 3 old and old enough to enter an early intervention program funded through our county intermediate unit. He attended there until he was 5 . Because our school district did not have an appropriate progran, he was then bussed every day to a school about 35 miles away.There were other children (blind and deaf) that also road with him. The buss went 70 miles to drop them off first and on the return trip he would be dropped off at his school. The following year was when I took him to the special school for Autistic children. 


Name: mom | Date: Jul 1st, 2005 1:43 AM
No my son was diagnosed finally at about 3. I knew that something was wrong at about 18 months. I took him to our local Easter Seals society (Helping Hands). We started early intervention there at 18 months. I was told to take him to get a sleeping hearing test. That rulled out deafness. I was then sent to a neurologist who sent us to a psychiatrist who in turn sent us to a child behaviorial specialest. We finally got a diagnosis.By that time he was 3 old and old enough to enter an early intervention program funded through our county intermediate unit. He attended there until he was 5 . Because our school district did not have an appropriate progran, he was then bussed every day to a school about 35 miles away.There were other children (blind and deaf) that also road with him. The buss went 70 miles to drop them off first and on the return trip he would be dropped off at his school. The following year was when I took him to the special school for Autistic children. 

Name: sue | Date: Jul 2nd, 2005 12:25 AM
the words that come to me are these....stop being afraid. purify your diet and let go of the things you've been holding in your heart and the cancer will flee. It doesn't stand a chance against love. I believe there is a plan for all of us, including your son. Let it into Gods hands and know in your heart that He takes care of all His children. Have faith that what will be is intentional. Breast cancer is a whimp. Our bodies and our minds will heal themselves if we allow it. LET GO! The cancer is something you are holding onto. You have a beautiful young boy who is autistic because God decided he should be perfectly him. Be perfectly you. Forget life and go back to simply loving. Healing is really that simple......at least i think so.
peace and love
sue :) 

Name: dana | Date: Jul 2nd, 2005 9:22 PM
get yourself a will, and try to find someone who can help you. if not the state will put him in a group home. it's not what you want to hear, but it'sa sad truth. i am a single mother also the facts are that options are few for disabled people w/out people to care for them. you need to also focus on getting well. i wish there were more options. try to think positive and do what you can. 

Name: janine | Date: Jul 9th, 2005 12:27 AM
Iam so sorry to here about your diagnose i am really sorry i hope everything works out . and about your son i have a 2 year old son that was just diagnosed with pdd autsim and i was cruched and i think if you go to a local church they will help you regarding your son . 

Name: wendy | Date: Jul 30th, 2005 5:00 AM
I am so very sorry about this health crisis for you.I know you have to be a strong individual to have your son and to have raised him alone with autism.This alone makes you tough as nails and able to overcome the odds.My autistic Spencer has taught me this.You can do this and the strength from all who have a differant world and home can silently offer our support. 

Name: GILLIAN MCINTYRE | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 10:11 PM
WHERE DO YOU LIVE AS I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOU I HAVE A SON WITHAUTISM WHO IS 10 YEARS OLD 

Name: Karen | Date: Aug 15th, 2005 11:54 PM
I have a 2 year old son that I am just beginning what I be lieve to be the very hard autism journey. I myself have been a special ed teacher for years...but children in our county go to specific autism classes at3 Years..It seems to be VERY limited before 3 which is horrible!! I was told he was deaf...then he had CP....then some sort of delay...now Autism..So many things seem to overlap with this disorder I believe that why it takes many children sooo long to get properly d iagnosed. Anyway to you smily...You sound like a very brave woman who would do anything for your son...There is a state that will watch your son forever if you are a resident..not in intitutes but wonderful caring homes just for autism...A lady told me this because her mother founded it years aGo as she was in the exact same situation as you..there is only one state that does this program as I understand..I will find out where..I want to say Minnisota or Illinois...they take over 100% of everything for your child for the rest of their lives if your child has noone who can help him and he is autistic They are like a real home....You may have to move to get the resisency qualifications...but you will have more to gain with getting him set for life .....God bless you and Ill get back to you as soon as possible with the state. 

Name: martine | Date: Aug 16th, 2005 7:11 AM
my heart goes out to you. I am a single mother and not in the best of health myself. In fact I recently found a lump on my chest but have not got it checked out. My son has a diagnosis of adhd/autism spectrum among others. I also have a daughter. I worry about this sort of thing constantly. His father would not be an option. But I live in Oregon and he is in a special school placement that actually has foster kids and mental health counselors. They place kids for adoption in cases where parents have passed away. I assume if this happens to me (or I hope ) they would help. Where do you live. This is a great program in oregon. They also help abused kids or kids who have been taken away from their parents for their own or their parents violence. Is it possible there is some sort of mental health or social service center you can get support for yourself and your worries. You may be just fine in the future but it would be nice to ease your mind. 

Name: Suzi | Date: Nov 3rd, 2005 10:45 AM
Dear Smily, My heart goes out to you. Please read this, I hope it gives you strengh.
I have an autisic son who was not diagnosed until he was 14(UK). After years of being placed incorrecly, and people not listening to me, I decided to deal with the authorities in a different way. They have held their hands up to failing him. The stress has been indescribable and it has affected my health to a degree. You must contact the Autistic Society regarding this matter as there are some very good units, although places are limited. I have found one near Leeds(UK), which is along way from me, but, I know that should anything happen to me, then he will receive a "lifelong commitment" from them. It is one of the best around. I am sure that you will be fine in the end, but, should the worst happen,god forbid, then at least you will know that he will be safe and happy there. The AS will support you with all the information that you would need.
America is way ahead of us so I would be shocked if you could not find a specialist unit.
Good luck
Suzi(UK) 

Name: Caroline | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 6:06 AM
Hi Smiley, I have just found this site and therefore my response to you would be considered late. I also have an autistic son, who is 13 years old and wasn't diagnosed until he was 6. Please take care of yourself, think positive thoughts and find out what help is out there for your son. Keep in touch. 

Name: mandy | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 9:05 PM
I have an 18yr autistic son. I am planning for his future when we are no longer around It starts at an early age eg boarding school. My son will be going to residential college in Sept 2007 for 3yrs,coming home in the holidays, from there into a workoing village community where I hope he will learn to do without us. I wish you al the best, it does not get easier as they get older. 

Name: Teach them to Sign | Date: Feb 6th, 2006 7:37 PM
Teach you child sign language. Autistic babies, toddlers, kids can learn this quickly and it cuts down their frustration in not being able to talk directly to you.

A few links are:

http://www.deafhomeschool.com/study/lang

uages/aslhearing.html

http://www.signingbaby.

com/why.html

http://www.signingtime.com/


h
ttp://www.signwithme.com/default.asp

http:/
/w
ww.babysigns.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=aboutus
.ma
 

Name: Amie | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 3:51 AM
I am a single parent myself with a son with aspergers and autism and a daughter with special needs i am disabled myself need someone to talk to email me any time at [email protected] 

Name: postscott | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 11:52 PM
I am very sorry for your diagnosis.my step-daughter cried when she read your story. My family will pray for you. Are you afilliated with a church that would be a great start. Or a center for austism. I have a autistic son that is 23 yrs.old If would like more information contact me at [email protected] 

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