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Name: PatriciaFell
[ Original Post ]
I don't know how to calm down sometimes. My 5 year old doesn't understand almost ANYTHING I say. I don't know what he is ever thinking, if he even thinks. Sometimes when I am mad at him he smiles. When I am happy with him, he cries... One day he understands something and the next he looks at me like a deer in headlights. I feel so lost. I can't get him to potty train, or talk to me. How will he handle school? How will he handle his future?
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Name: wendy138 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2011 12:16 AM
I don't know where you live but are you or can you get him into services they can help him in school and even preschool and you will get a break that way. It is very stressful and requires a lot of patience. 

Name: Edwardliu | Date: Aug 4th, 2011 2:10 PM
From the beginning, teaching them is very hard because they don't understand the question. I remember I teach my son " how are you? " " how old are you?" " who is your mum?" " where is your home address?" he remember the answer and mix it . Put this answer to that question. Wrong, try another answer. They got very good memory. But they are hard to understand the question. At this stage, try to let him do simple instruction or two instruction. Such as put your hand on your head, then jump. Then using the picture and let him tell simple thing. Such as what is the girl doing? Do the funny game can you eat xxx and make some mistake in it?
Don't be too stress. If he can speak now, he can be taught. It just take times. I have a friend whose son speaks first word when he was five and a half. He is now nine and go to normal school special support class. He has a lot of delay but he can handle the basic life and most of time he is happy.

Also autism remember what happened before too well. It is hard for them to get out. If you want to change their behavior, you need to change the environment. For example, my son likes to throw the flashcard in the ground because he doesn't like it. He remembers it every time when we teach him. Then we don't put the flashcard on the table. We hide the flashcard in the rice box and he digs it out. He is very happy we teach him that way. Then next time he will be happy we teach him flashcard without rice.

Another example
One day my son was very sad when I picked up him from pre school. I walked to him and He saw me and he started to lie down and cry. Then the next day, then so many day he repeat the same thing again and again " lie down and cry" even I know he was very happy. Then I change his environment. Instead of walking to him, I went to his school bag and pretend not seeing him. He ran to me and tell me he is very good today. After that, I got a happy boy again when I picked him.

Also some autism kid like to hold one or more object in their hand. If you take them away, they will be very sad. Do it slowly to change that behavior. First, let him hold only one object he can choose. Then change it to the key ring zip on the coat. He can hold it but still look not very bad and can have free hand to join in the activity. Then change the key ring smaller and smaller. Then take it away.
Also sometimes autism kids like more attention than others. They care mum more than anyone. It is not easy for them too. They are sick and need help.
Also if you are very tired, try to relax yourself. Let him watch some TV and you had a good nap. Focus his improvement and ignore his bad behavior.
When he is bad, make a "thinking chair". Not play, just give him the thinking reason picture and force him to sit. When he stopped crying, let him down. Don't cuddle or kiss him when he did bad things. Never hit him, otherwise he will copy and hit other children.
Also when he did something wrong, try to think a reason for him. For example, my son pull my hair before when he was little. I found it was very strange because he did it when he was very happy with me. So I taught him to gentle touch my face instead of pulling my hair. Then he changed his bad behavior.

Sometimes I am very mad, I lock my son in a room ( make sure everything is safe for him ). I told him if he did that bad behavior again, I'll lock him again. It is important that you only lock him for a few minutes. Not too long. Don't let him too scare of you.

It is important to find a autism parents in your local area. And you can talk about your stress. 

Name: dolphinlover | Date: Aug 6th, 2011 5:05 PM
I have a 4 year old that is the same way but he's getting better because we got help through LIU its a program in Pa were i live. And for the potty training the school helpd us. and dont get urself all stressed out about it I understand its hard but just close ur eyes and count to 10 it works sometimes and if it doesnt then just breath in through ur nose and out through ur mouth a couple times and it should help. just check into some help for him. 

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