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Name: JaquayHN
[ Original Post ]
Hi my name is Heather, and i have a 12 month old baby boy named David. We live in Pa, and today we went to go get him tested for Autisim. David doesn't talk, and he seems at times like he cannot hear us, He dosent need me very often, and is a VERY independant child. He does make eye contact, just not a whole lot, maybe for a split second.
Well when we went into the dr, she had said after evaluting him that she had the same concerns as we did, and that she wanted to get an early intervention specialist to come to our home and work with him..and i just do not know what to do, or what to think..i literally broke down and started to cry in the drs office...im at such a loss for words, or actions..and i need some help or advice...
he has a hearing appt on December the 18th...he has had ALOT ALOT ALOT of ear infections in his first year of life, like around 6..and i just need help...so any advice would be amazing...thank you so much for your time..
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Name: ltl | Date: Dec 7th, 2007 5:22 AM
Hi Heather, at 2 years old, my son wasn't saying a word and I was concerned but was being patient. When he just about to turn 3, he was just saying up to 10 words. I also noticed that he had "fleeting eyes" which he would look at me for a brief second. Often when he was playing and I would call his name, he would not turned around as if he didn't hear me. However, when my cellular phone rung upstair, which is barely audible, he would look up in that direction, which left me confused as to whether he can really hear. I also noticed that he would not play with other kids but he would be connected more to adults. I started to be suspicious and started to google speech delay and found autism. I realized that he displayed many of the characteristics and started to panic that I couldn't breathe. It was extremely overwhelming that I couldn't sleep or eat for weeks. I made an appointment with the developmental pediatrician in February 2007 in hope that he wouldsaid that I was wrong. My suspicion was confirmed that day at the doctor's office and I just didn't talk to anyone and just held my son wondering what the future would bring. HEATHER, I TRUELY UNDERSTAND what you are going through at the moment. I just needed time to grief, to feel self-pittied, and to accept before I can take steps toward early interventions.
Keep the hearing appointment. Heather, in my opinion, he showed more signs then just hearing problems...you may want to consider taking the advice of the doctor. There are many programs or schools that work with these kids even as young as your son's age on many levels from sensory interventions to social and communication. If I had known when my son was 12 months, I would have enrolled him in such program even let's say that the doctor is wrong in the end. It wouldn't hurt because I knew he needed some interventions. As he gets older, it may be easier to curtail to his specific needs. If you can not afford it, the doctor may suggest some programs that may offer financial help.
Sorry, I may not have been much help since you are probably looking for specific suggestions, but I want you to know that I will keep you and your son in my prayers. 

Name: JaquayHN | Date: Dec 7th, 2007 5:31 AM
thank you so much for your reply..i just dont know what to do...i WANT him to go to school, meet girlsm you know have friends..and ijust feel like people are going to look at him different now, and i dont like that one bit..i just want them to be wrong really...i cant sleep right now, ive been in tears all night long, thinking to my self "what could i have done to make this better?" i feel like it is my fault..and i want to fix it..i just dont know what to do..im going to do the early intervention thing, in hopes that it will snap him out of this, which i heard can happen, so im still hopefull but still so sad...all i can do is cry.. 

Name: Ontario_Father | Date: Dec 7th, 2007 1:16 PM
Hello Heather.........my world also came crashing down almost a year to date. My son Waylon was 2 1/2 when he was diagnoses with moderate to severe Autism. Your little one and my little one sound almost identical. Ear infections, no or little eye contact, none verbal, everything you said.
I'd like to say everything will be O.K., and it will be but you must get your child the he they need RIGHT NOW. he is only 12 months old so if you start now everything you want for him will come true. We work with a DAN doctor (Defeat Autism Now), he has a development worker come in once every two weeks for and hour, an Occupation Therapist comes in once every 2 weeks for an hour. My wife and I have taken the Hanna program to help with his speech and we are now 1 year in on a waiting list for IBI, or if your from the USA, ABA. In addition to all of this my wife and I work with him for an hour every day.
The reason I tell you all this is it gets better with the help and effort you put in. I no longer have the same worries as I did when we found out. Now I worry about stuff like, will he make the honor role or just get high 70's in school. I hope his girl friend is pretty. Stuff like that.
Don't get me wrong he still has a way to go but he improves everyday. Be strong, be his mom, and he will get better 

Name: ltl | Date: Dec 8th, 2007 12:51 AM
I know you feel helpless at the moment. I'm sure you know that it's not your fault, but you can't help feeling that it is, and that's ok too. You have to go through this period after receiving the news, and it's ok to cry. You should cry, it will make you feel better, and eventually you can regain strength to start looking for intervention programs. I did the same. Heather, the fact is, these kids don't "snap" out of it, however, they can be taught how to communicate, socialize, and be self sufficient through intervention. They will learn how to acquired the skills that they lack. That is why the younger they are, they can be taught easier. It will take commitment, persistance, and determination to get them through this journey.
I think that you should spend lots of time interacting with him. Talk to him, although he may not seem interested since he's not looking at you, just keep talking. To start training him to look at you, get down to his face level, and talk to him. You may gently but firmly cupped his face and direct his face toward your face while talking to him, or put your finger under his chin and guide his face toward your direction. Although he may seem independent, often these kids zone into their own world and not noticed anything or anyone around them, so just play and interact with him often. Take him out of his world to start teaching him to get into our world. This could be exhuasting, but keep on playing, talking, and interacting with him. Remember to get down to his face level when talking to him. With my son, I continuously talk to him, although it may appear that he wasn't listening, several weeks later, he's saying words that was spoken to him. Look into "floor time". I haven't had a chance to really read on that strategy, but from what I hear, it helps.
My son has gotten better, still has ways to go, but he's gainning more language and sometimes play with other kids. I want you to know that it does get better, but with commitment, persistent, and determination. Every child have their own pace to pick things up, but all you can do is celebrate each tasks that were accomplished.
I still worried about how other kids will treat him when he gets to elementary school one day. I'm scared that he will get picked on, beaten up just because he's different, or that he wouldn't make good grades. I think we all worried about that, and that is why I have to do as much as I can now with early interventions. At least it gives me some kind of feeling of control since I am doing something about it now. Sorry for being so lengthy. 

Name: BlakesMom | Date: Dec 14th, 2007 3:29 AM
Hi Heather. I know that this is a very scary time for you, but if David is autistic, finding out this early is the best thing for him. I worked with Autistic children for 13 years before having my son who was diagnosed (because of my persistence) at 18 months. He has been diagnosed in the severe range and exhibited a lot of the same signs your son did at 12 - 13 months. He will be 3 in February and has made so much progress because of my persistence and the Early Intervention Therapy. Therapists (Occupational, Speech, Developmental and Behavioral Therapy as well as Family Counseling) come into our home 6 x per week provided through the state of IL for a very small family fee (we pay only $50 per month). Check into the service available to you because Early intervention (by professionals and yourself) can make a world of difference.......as it has with my son and any other child I have known. Initially there were concerns about Blake's hearing.....but I knew he could hear because if Elmo music played, he would take off to find it. He was only responding to what he 'wanted' to hear. I understand you optimism in hoping that he will 'snap out of it', but also prepare yourself for the reality of most children with autism. It is a long hard battle just to make 'baby steps'. Please know I am not trying to be negative, but just want you to be aware that that is not a common thing to happen. We have tried a lot of different things with Blake, Gluten/Casein Free Diet, Sensory Diets, etc...... Nothing works the same for any child......as each is so unique.......so be really evaluate any advice you recv before jumping into it. I would be happy to correspond more on a personal level if you wish. My email address is [email protected]. Take care of yourself and sweet little Jonathan! Cindy 

Name: cayceface | Date: Dec 18th, 2007 3:40 PM
Hi,..I understand how you feel and what your going through,..Autism is such an intensely hard disorder to put your thumb on,..somethings match up,..others do not,..
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PARENT and don't forget that,..
and we are never given more than we can handle...
my child Owen,..is four and also has autism,..
and it is a challenge everyday,..I give my entire life to my child,..he means everything to me and Iam sure your child does too,..good luck to you,..and I hope that you enjoy your holidays. 

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