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Name: 40below
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My Name is Ian and i live in New York city. I 32 years old and am a father of a beautiful little boy. I just found this forum today and i just joined. My son just turned 2yrs old a month ago. My wife was concerned because he was not yet speaking. My son took more then normal time to begin walking so I thought "hey, maybe he needs more time" we took him to his doctor and he agreed that my son should be talking by now. He recommended early intervention so we called them. After a few specialist came to evaluate him the psycolgologist diagnosed him as being autistic. It just broke my heart to learn this about my son. I never seen my son any different then any other child. How can this happen? What caused this? I read somewhere that it can take a few years to fully diagnose a child as autistic, so how can this doctor diagnose him in 30 mins? I looked up all the symptoms of autism and I can only find one or maybe 2 similarities that my son has like flapping his hands and not talking. I agree he is behind in his development like talking and pointing at things but can this be a mild case? My wife and I are suppose to attend a meeting soon to determine what treatment he needs but I hoping with the treatment he can catch up and hopefully live a normal life. I have not been able to sleep good and have now missed 2 days of unpaid workdays. Can anyone help me out with any insight as to what to expect in this meeting or in the future? I am so lost and heartbroken words cannot even explain. Are they any good books anyone can recommend I can buy to help both me and my son? Thank you in advance for any input comments or thoughts.
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Name: julesmaria | Date: Oct 31st, 2010 12:48 AM
The fact your son is getting early intervention is the best possible thing for him and your family. His brain is like a sponge now, so getting this now is a really good thing. He probably will need behavioral therapist, speech, and OT. Make sure the intervention therapist have there certification. In the future with early intervention your child might be main streamed in school and go on to live a successful life. The out of sync child is a great book to read. The best thing we all can do for our children is show them love and compassion and that will help produce the most optimal outcome. I know acceptance is hard. You have caught this early and this a really good thing. 

Name: VKaufmann | Date: Feb 5th, 2011 1:26 AM
I AM GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING AS YOU!!!! It'd be great to chat...my number is 732 494 5935....feel free to call, or even have your wife call since I am a female.

My son was diagnosed a month ago and he'll be 2 in three weeks. I did the EI and all that. 

Name: erachael | Date: Feb 8th, 2011 3:14 PM
I have been where you are at right now. My son was diagnosed developmentally delayed before he turned 2. Then before 3 he was diagnosed autistic. Be ready for a lot of appointments and therapies. At first it was hard to even accept it but I got him to those appointments and my sone has made a lot of improvement. One thing I must warn you about. Do not treat him as an autistic child. Always expect more.
Specialists told me my son may never talk and I thought "yes he will" and he does. Also, be thankful for every new development. Sometimes, people who are not around your son will be very impressed with his growth and this will remind you how far he has come along.

The first years are difficult to accept the diagnosis, but after that you get comfortable and just accept your son and love him. I must stress again to require him to make these advances.

I remember sitting across from my son working with flashcards everyday. Now he can label like crazy and he loves his letters, numbers, and shapes. The key is you don't give up and they won't give up.

Do not overwhelm yourself with his future but what is the task at hand. When you look at the big picture it is overwhelming and depressing at times.

My son visits the regular classroom and the kids love him and love to help him. It is a wonderful life to see "normal" children enjoying their interaction with my son. There have been many moments in my life that have been emotionally moving because of my son. I would not see the world the way I do today if I did not have my very special boy. 

Name: gary5808 | Date: Feb 14th, 2011 10:21 PM
My name is Gary and I have a 2 1/2 year old boy that has been diagnosed as delayed. The way things work here they just dont dont like to label kids early. He obviously is autistic and we will get that diagnosis when he's 3. He's a sweet lil guy but he's not talking. he makes sounds and has said words but thats about it. Sometimes I cry on and off for hours at a time but its getting a little longer between times when this happens. I dont know if he's high or low functioning. I tend to believe hes low fuctioning but hes still pretty little. I am devastated and have a hard time with depression. It seems unfair that other people get to have their child return smiles, say mommy and daddy and the like but I dont get those things. I realize it s ridiculous to feel its unfair or whatever but oh god it does suck. I dont want to think about how my dad never cared to be around me from birth much and I have so much love to give and always knew I did and looked forward to doing all the things with my son that my dad never did with me. But I get hammered on this end as well cuz my boy doesnt care. Unfair! My wife struggles with it but does amazingly well. She hurts I know but refuses to let it tear her down. I am not as strong as she is on this issue. This is the 1st time i have ever reached out for input from others going thru the same thing. I have totally accepted (although I am so sad about it) hes autistic but now i worry as to how severe it is. We are doing the therapies and everthing we can to help him function on as high of a level as possible but I fear he is very low fuctioning and its killing me. Any advice or comments would be welcome. 

Name: Noon | Date: Feb 26th, 2011 2:10 AM
Hi every one i want to ask is it possible to take care of autistic child and work in the same time as im a mother of autistic child !! 

Name: Maxdaddy | Date: Mar 1st, 2011 4:24 AM
Ian, I am Max's Daddy. Max is my son and he has been diagnosed being on the spectrum 3 years ago. We pushed for a diagnosis in an attempt to be extremely aggressive and get as much help and assistance in this lifelong process. i truly hope that your son will be able to live a normal life;however, be assured that his life as he knows it is and is and will be normal. Love him, cherish him, grow and live with him. Also be his best advocate. Be aggressive in his treatment and do not be ashamed at all. All of your emotions, concerns and questions are exactly appropriate. However, take solace in the fact that Ian with your love and support will be all that he can be as any child will be. Google ABA, gluten free casein free diets. Reach out to support groups, parents of autistic children and do not be afraid. It is not what either of us wanted, but we have been given the challenge , responsibility and gift of our sons. This journey will not be easy, it will be difficult many tears will be shed, but do not allow your fears or anger keep you from being Ian's biggest advocate. I just came across this sight to ask a question regarding a medication that has been proscribed for Max. I will continue to check in and will provide you any insight that I can, as you begin this journey. Good Luck, you can do this, do not blame, nor question because that is just wasted energy. Ian needs your complete devotion, go back to work, therapy is not cheap, contact your insurance carrier to see what services/coverage you. Also do not compare Ian with any other child, he is his own person and his strides and setbacks will be unique to him. Talk to you soon. Max's Daddy 

Name: Maxdaddy | Date: Mar 1st, 2011 4:31 AM
Gary, do not sell your son short. He does care and he does love you. He just will show in his own way and own time. Keep being the wonderful daddy that you have been. Be Strong, for him, for your self for his future. with love and prayers Max's Daddy 

Name: Maxdaddy | Date: Mar 1st, 2011 4:33 AM
Noon, look for employment that you can do from home. Also there are school programs that are available to your child when he or she is the appropriate age, which will afford you more time to work. Go to your local school board and inquire. Good Luck Max's Daddy 

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