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My son Julian has gotten past his strip naked at school days, but still will climb anything he can find to climb or will close himself into his toybox or into dresser drawers. I have burglar bars on all the doors, but sometimes my friends and family, are not as vigilant about looking them. Julian has discovered running. He waits for his opportunity and then is off like a shot. He is 4 and he is fast. I usually have caught him halfway down the lawn, but last night he closed the door behind him (he observes everything). With no wide open door, I didn't even know he left the house and spent the first five minutes searching inside. Then the panic set in and I began running up and down the block screaming his name. He was wearing nothing but a pullup pant. A lady had apparantly seen him in the road at the end of my block when she had nearly hit him with her car. She knocked on three doors on the cross street and then callled 911. Luckily my call to 911 came a minute later. (my hysterical call). The police were very understanding, although they did suggest, among other more sensible suggestions, that I buy a harness and tether him to the wall. OK, I am thinking maybe gps tracker. I am having horrible guilt and irrational flashes of fear. Perhaps I should superglue both of my children to my body or better yet put them both back in the womb. Besides the very real fear of the unthinkable, I am irrationally terrified that someone will think I am unfit and take my heart from me. Oy vey! ↓
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| Name: Tashia | Date: Jul 1st, 2006 4:55 AM |
| I've had the same feeling. I feel like all the extra things we do for the sake of saftey could be look at as poor parenting from an outsider but if we at any point slip even alittle and somthing does happen once then twice what's the out come be then. I know no one can care for my kids like me and I would be lost without them (even if at times I feel lost w/them LOL:) We do our best and get juged by others as well as ourselves. Idea: I've actually called and let our police dept. know autistic kids live at our house so if an emergency was to happen it would pull up on 911 dispatch. ↑ |
| Name: Donna | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 2:06 AM |
| Thank you, Tashia! The Police department now has our address logged in to the computer. Are you a single mom too? What scared me the most is that I don't trust most people to watch Julian because he is so wily. I felt like I had let him and myself down somehow. Like if I can't.....then what. I have never felt so helpless. The one thing the officer said was "you know there has only been one perfect person and he died two thousand years ago, I can tell you are a good mom" I have my own belief system, but that comment was so sweet. My children are my heart, because of this I think I may stay single for quite some time. The funny thing is, I find I am not really bothered by this as long as I can keep them safe and healthy. ↑ |
| Name: Anne | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 10:40 PM |
Donna,
I know just how you feel. I have an autistic son age 6, Christopher and his sister is 8. When my son has his meltdowns it's a nightmere. Usually I try to ride the wave and they diffuse quickly. But not today when it was a 45 minute meltdown where he was attaching me and his sister. I am consatnly covered in bruises by him and he's notw started biting. When i try to restrain him in public or throw him over my shoulder tog et him out of a astore I see all these people looking at me like I'm either abusing him or he is such a bad behaved child and why don't I do something. People can be so nasty, I feel like I should where I t-shirt that says my son is autistic please ignore this. ↑ |
| Name: Donna | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 8:32 PM |
Anne,
Children are a lesson in humility. They also teach us in the reactions of others about the ignorance of other people. My daughter (who is not autistic) has been more of a public spectacle than my son ever has been. I think the audiences of her tantrums were usually thinking I should spank her or have followed me to my vehicle to make sure I didn't. Come to think of it, Madison was probably responsible for my emotional coping with Julian. I am lucky in that despite risk taking behavior he has a very sweet disposition. Maddy is still strong willed, but she has matured considerably. I sympathize with you with your son. I know I cried many times with Madison and would have to walk away and count to a thousand to keep from beating her. It was that bad. Here's an idea they have cards for kids with processing disorders that you can hand out to people. I bet we could come up with one as well. Or how about looking the person who is staring at you in the eye and saying "Would you be so kind as to follow me out to my car with my grocery cart or can you walk ahead of me with my daughter so that I can safely get my son to the car?" Neither one of these things can cure ignorance, but I find that sometimes people's attitude can change when they realize what's going on. Besides shame on them for not offering a hand to begin with. Seeing a woman alone trying to struggle with an unruly child is a situation that all of us should try to assist with. It is not an easy thing to do. People forget how hard it is, but judging that woman isn't hard at all is it. ↑ |
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