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| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 12th, 2006 10:01 PM |
| Hi, you know, my personal suggestion, and some may or may not agree, but I feel you have to set some guidelines down with an autistic person just as you would with anybody else. I realize he has issues, but would you let a typical 15 yr old control, hit you? If he is not doing it to your husband I might assume he knows his behavior is out of term. Be patient with him since he is autistic but lay down the law so to speak at the same time. He will adjust. My son is also autistic, and I treat him and discipline him as I would his sibling. If I want him to react "normal", I have to discipline him as such also. You are the parent, he is the child, and that should never be compromised. Autistic or not. He may not like it the first few times, but I think he'll adapt. Take care- ↑ |
| Name: KAREN SCHIMPF | Date: Aug 13th, 2006 5:27 PM |
| SUN AUG 13,2006 1:00pm Hi Jodene, Welcome! Of course you are not a selfish person, all humans need companionship... even autistic kids... they just fight us on it. In fact in watching our 22yr old autistic son, he puts up this...BIG BARRIER... hoping to keep others at bay...all the while...DELIGHTING when a person is smart enough to CHARGE RIGHT THROUGH THAT BARRIER... expecting him ...TO REACH HIGHER...that includes obeying rules mom and dad firmly state often like, HANDS DOWN ! My son has come after me and hurt me until the day I decided...NO ONE, NOT EVEN MY AUTISTIC SON HAS THE RIGHT TO BE ABUSIVE... NO ONE! That is exactly what I say when I even think he's headed my way, "STOP! HANDS DOWN! YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL! SIT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN! THEN WE CAN TALK CALMLY! (of course I give him clear liq.Benedryl first-I it takes 20-30min to take effect) By Expecting more and you'll get more, they have been playing us all, that's how smart they are, but know they will fight you all the way...just like any child. Keep stating those rules and you will have to state them all of your childs life, because he is impaired. Hang in there Jodene, Karen ↑ |
| Name: Jodene | Date: Aug 14th, 2006 1:18 PM |
| Thank you Dianna and Karen for your reply. I think he is definitely expieriencing some frustration because of school starting. I think he is trying to control me because he feels out of control inside himself. What do you think? My husband has restrained him when he has come after me but then he spits, bites and kicks my husband. And the language that comes out of his mouth when he is out of control is horrible. The only thing that can be done is hold him down and ask him if he is done yet. I don't have the strength or the size to do that with him so I end up just ducking when something is being thrown my way. At the same time I don't want him destroying my house. I do discipline him, he knows that when he does have outbursts I will take his computer away or his ipod. So he does know there is consequences for his behavior. However that does not stop it from happening and believe me the computer is everything to him. This is so sad to see because he is mostly a well behaved kid with a great sense of humor. He just gets stuck on certain topics and will ask me 30 to 40 times in a day the same questions over and over. He wares me out. "Mom what time are you going to bed tonight? Your friends not coming to dinner?" I finally ask what time do you want me to go to bed? Then to try to get it to stop I agree I will go to bed at the time he says. That doesn't work though, because it starts all over again the minute I get up in the morning. I really hopeful it will end once school starts and he is back into a routine. Thanks again for your thoughts, it helps to know there are people to talk to out there who understand what is going on. Jodene ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 27th, 2006 2:48 AM |
| Hi Jodene, yes, from what you tell me I do think he is inwardly nervous about starting up back to school. May I ask how was your son as a boy? When did you notice he was autistic? Mine is almost 4 and has a wonderful little personality, but doesn't really speak but a handful or so of words. I often wonder what he will be like as a young adult. Your son seems wonderful in that he attends typical sschool and has a sense of humor, hopefully, I'm thinking it's the nerves of starting class. Take care and feel free tow write. Diana :) ↑ |
| Name: Jodene | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 4:40 PM |
| Hi Dianna, My son (Nick) has gotten better since school has started in terms of the vomiting, unfortunately though the control issues are still there. The other day while taking the dog out two of my friends were driving by and decided to come inside and have 1 beer and chat a bit. They weren't here 15 minutes and Nick started throwing things across the room. Luckily he didn't break the screen on the TV. I am now starting to think he is upset when my attention is focused somewhere besides on him. That is maybe why he doesn't want me staying up past 10:30 p.m. because then my husband will be getting my attention. You had asked about when my son was diagnosed, believe it or not he didn't get diagnosed until he was 11 years old. He was a delightful little boy, he actually was very cuddley when he was little I feel very fortunate in that regard. Nick has been to Children's Memorial, in Chicago, and Loyola Medical Center. He has also been to Mayo Clinic and the University of Chicago twice. It wasn't until I requested the evaluation on autism be done that they finally diagnosed him with it. The school ended up paying for that one because I didn't agree with their evaluations so I requested and independent evaluation be done at public expense. Anyway I am rattling on please tell me about your son. And thanks again for your reply. Jodene ↑ |
| Name: dianna | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 12:47 PM |
| Hi Jodene, sorry to hear about the other night with your son. It's amazing to me how these hospitals don't sometimes diagnose sooner. You know what you said about him with wanting your attention totally makes sense. Maybe at night you could say like "ok, this is my and your time, what do you want to do?, But then in fairness I need to give my attentions elsewhere also." I'm glad though that the vomitting got better. About mine, he's getting a 25/hr week ABA program at home and he's doing better, I guess not quite where I'd want him to be, but oh well. I knew he was autistic from a little over 2 because he stopped saying things he used to say and became more in his world. It's hard to watch him like this because while he too is a loving little boy, he still in diapers at almost 4, he doesn't speak but a handful of words, and eats vey messy. It makes it even harder that he's a twin and his brother is the brightest, most outgoing little thing. I just hope for the future. For all our children. I'm hoping that as his language improves the world will more open up to him. And he will want to become more engaged in it also. SO nice talking to you again. Keep in touch. I'll frequently check the board! ↑ |
| Name: JAN | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 5:39 PM |
| Dear Jodene, This is the first time I have ever been in a chat room, but I think it's long overdue. My son is 29 now and sounds like your son. The trouble started when he was about 18. Before then I always knew he was frustrated, but he put on a good act whenever he was around other people. Andrew has lived in a group home about a mile from my house for the last year. I always wanted him close to home so he could still be a part of the family. The problem is he has started walking home whenever he doesn't like what is happening at the group home. He acts much llike your son to me. I could go on and on and on. I just wanted to get started talking to some other people who are going through much the same things. It makes me feel a little better to know others are facing the same challenges that Iam. Also, I want to let you know you are not alone. At times I feel helpless and hopeless, but then I have to get going again to make things better for my son and me. Today my son is coming for dinner with his siblings. I dont't have him over when I'm alone anymore. This weekend has been a challenge. Am determined to start the new week by working with staff at the group home. They are struggling with his behavior. That frustrates me because I thought they were the experts!!!! Guess I'm still nieve enough after all these years to think someone has answers. Hope you will write back to me and let me know how your family is surviving. Thanks for listening to me ramble, Jan ↑ |
| Name: stressedmom68 | Date: Sep 15th, 2006 11:58 PM |
| Hi, I was just on here to looking for help and looking for other parents more in my situation. I have a 14 year old autistic son...first of all he was born a premie 10 weeks early , 2lbs. 2oz. 13 inches long in New Hampshier, and his father and I were told he would have developemental delays but he would eventually catchup. at 1 week before he was 1 year he started having seizures , then when he was 4 or 5 he was starting school and he was tested and the put him down as develope mental delays and adhd, he at that poing was only having 2 seizures a month. Then when my son was 10 years old his father pasted away , he had a heartattack with no warrning. His father and I took our son to his first Lynyrd skynyrd concert ( music is his life ) and the next morning I got a phone call and his father was already gone. That was hard for him to understand cause even now to him it just happened yesterday. So then his behavior went out of controll and he was having 1-2 seizures a week so we started a mood stabilizer to help him through his fathers death an dyou could imagine I myself didn't want to even get out of bed let along get hit ,and hurt by my 10 year old and it wasn't his fault he just couldn't understand he couldn't visit his father or spend time with him anymore . Cause my son and his father were close and my son looked up to him and to me his father was going to be there throgh everything and help with puberty and all the rough times that were ahead. Then when my son was 12 yrs. old we moved to Alvin, Texas which he went though a tough time with the whole change of schools and new surroundings and all but he adjusted well and in middle school he did well, then he got sick and was hospitalized for almost 1 month he had surgery and 2 chest tubes to drain out mucus from his chest. When he came back we had to re train him on everything including potty train and how to hold a fork , he didn't speak for at least 2 months. Then June 5, 2006 we moved to San antonio, Texas and he did fine cause my girlfriend has family here and they are pretty close and love my son , he just can't be at a family gathering too long cause of his anxiety but he likes to have family. Now that he is 14yrs. old my had problems are that he is going through puberty , and another med change . He does the vomiting thing in the morning and it is hard cause I don't want him to spit up his meds , then he gets home from school and he starts with obsesing with his music and he gets pushy about it at times and he repeats the same thing over and over and it is hard . Then I talk to his Doctor cause his school says that he is not doing the work he did 2 weeks ago and school work is going down and here we go again another med change and then he gets more violent and his body is that of a 14 yr. old but yet he doen't get what is going on so he has the funny bussiness going on and I don't know what to do but tell him to do his funny bussiness in his room . Now he is still not being cooperative at school and there was an incident of foul language and he doesn't hear it here . I just need someone that has gone through this to talk to and if any one who is going through the same thing to just talk to help eachother through the rest of this. thanks, Amy [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: KAREN SCHIMPF | Date: Sep 16th, 2006 11:06 PM |
| SAT. SEPT 16,2006 7pm HI STRESSED MOM 68, If you go to ( autistic adult ) at this site I just wrote to Curtis about (subclinical seizures) which can cause, 'Sudden fits of explosive aggression' which we never knew about and might be data that might apply to your son. Our sons are 29 &21 and we had never heard about this. Stress really sets my son off and now I'm starting to understand why. Hope this will give you something to help. GRATEFULLY KAREN ↑ |
| Name: JAN | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 11:10 PM |
| Hi Jodene, Do your son's outbursts seem to come in waves? Does his bad mood start and then last for days? Then does he maybe stay in a good mood for weeks? Or does it just happen all of a sudden and then it's over? My sons mood swings with aggression are getting worse and worse. He was hospitalized this morning and will be starting clozaril, a heavy duty, last ditch drug to try to control him. Apparently the drug can have great results but the side effects are scary. How is your son doing now? Are things any better since school started? ↑ |
| Name: jacksmom | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 4:46 AM |
| Dr. Amy Yasko is finding that certain genetic mutations can cause aggression. The good news is that she's having success in helping people counteract the genetic weaknesses with supplments. I hope you find the help you are seeking. :) Below is .... Jack's story.... After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew. Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate. What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more! Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor. Don't use supps until you research things for yourself. Cilantro for example...should possibly not be used until some other detox has been done. Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) [email protected] ps - alot of people react to nitrates and nitrites and other chemicals... you could watch what he eats or what he is exposed to prior to his bad behavior... there may be a pattern because of an allergy or reaction ↑ |
