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Name: icebluelainer
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Frusteration has become my main feeling lately! I don't know how to deal with my son's out burst anymore! I used to think it was just him acting spoiled and I thought that if I stopped giving into his every freak out that it might get Better, but it hasn't. He was just diagnosed on November 14th with Autism Spectrom disorder. I am so worried about him and he won't toilet train and I have so many questions that I can't remember them when everyone asks me if I have any questions. I feel like a bad mother everytime he has a fit in a groecery store or department store and I have to leave. I get looks from other parents when I give in like I am not supposed to listen to him and I am supposed to disapline him but I don't know how!! I am affraid of my own son! He is three years old and he can talk but his communications are limited as are his understandings. He is a very smart child and sometime it is as though he understands everything that I say to him but at other times it is like I am trying to give him to much information at a time and he becomes very frusterated with me and has one of his flipp out fests. Sometimes they last five minutes and at other times they can last up to an hour or more. He tends to beat up his sister at every opportunity but as before I thought that it was normal behaviour up until recently that is. Can someone out there help?
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Name: lisa | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 11:04 AM
i know how you feel i have two young children with autism when it comes to my two i find picture schedules the best to help there behavior alot of there tantrums are due to not understanding the things you want them to do. 

Name: lisa | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 2:50 PM
i read your story and i feel for you and your frustration. with my daughter i learned to remember that she has her strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. it's mainly that autistics view the world from a different perspective. that is how i remain calm about some of her behaviors. also, i only give my daughter one or two commands at a time. she cannot process more than that , then nothing gets done. like if i need her to brush her teeth , i only ask her to do that and sometimes i have to ask a couple of times or just say "now" . she tends to get very preoccupied especially with her obsession with books and forgets or doesn't even hear what i have said. i also have learned that the calmer i am, the calmer she is. my daughter is 6 yrs old now and it has been a long road and i know there is only more to come. just try to take one day at a time. talk to your sons doctors about behavior adjustment therapies and discipline techniques that may work for him. it is hard to remember sometimes that autistic children don't know what they have done wrong or understand why they are being punished. my daughter has had fits that last from 5 minutes to one hr as well. i just let her have them and didn't pay her any attention as long as she was not a harm to herself or anyone else. if we are at home, she is put in her room until she can calm down, if we are out, i usually take her out of that environment. which sometimes i get mad or frustrated because that means i have to leave as well, but you have to do what you have to do. and as for people looking at you , don't even think about them . they don't know you or your situation. you are his parent, not them. and your doing the best you can. i have been there more than once. i used to get embarrassed too. but you have to live YOUR life. we can't stay at home and hide from the world just because our kids are special. our kids deserve the same opportunties as everyone else. good luck to you and your family. 

Name: icebluelainer | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 5:23 PM
I have spoken to his doctors and they have made a referall to the IBI but I am still just in the begining stages of it all and the they have told me just to side track him with something else but like I said befor my son is very persistant abotu what he wants and if we don't give into him he has a fit. I do just let him continue with the fit and leave him be but it hard when I have my boyfriends family standing there telling me he needs a spanking and I should give it to him they don't understand that it doesn't bother him. I fell like I am doing this all myself and there never seems to be an end to it! I am an at home mom and there is rarely a time that I get out of the house without my children. The farthest I have been with out them in the last 2 years is to the store and back that is it. I don't live near my family and his family aren't that much help because they don't know how to deal with him when he has a fit. I have no choice right now but to do it myself and as far as day care goes I have hi on waiting list after waiting list with almost no hope of and end to it. I think sometimes that I am going insane! This is the first time that I have been able to voice any of my fears to anyone, that understands and doesn't tell me that he is just a spoiled brat. I wish my family understood right now I am fighting with my own grandmother about it and she is still in deniel about it. I am even feeling guilty about the fact that I have to drug my own child to get him to sleep at night for more then 3 hours. His doctor has told me to get someone to watch him so that I can take some time to myself but like I said I don't know anyone around here that can deal with him. I feel so totaly alone. 

Name: Mel | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 5:59 PM
First of all take a deep breathe and know you are not alone. Less then a year ago I felt like I was at the end of my ropes. It turned out my son had a lot of food allergies and sensory issues that were causing his chaotic behaviors. He's now doing much better and I've also learned what he can tolerate. I don't think your son wants to be bad. His acting out maybe the only way he knows how to tell you he can't process everything in his environment at that time. If you would like to chat or have access to instant messaging please contact me at [email protected] There are a lot of little things you can look for to see what maybe actually causing his behaviors. Understanding him is the first step to helping him. 

Name: Caroline | Date: Jan 5th, 2006 2:27 AM
As with all parents of a child with autism, we know what you are going through. Unfortunatley, you will have to learn to develop a thick skin so as not to be upset by other people's comments and stares. You need to get some information and learn all you can about this condition and you can do this through the public library, internet and parent book stores. Information is knowledge and knowledge will lessen your anxiety. You think that you'll never get rid of that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because of your heartbreak for the child that could have been. Trust me, the feeling does go away, and you do learn how to parent your special child. Read, read, read!!!!! Educate others who make ignorant comments for example in the grocery store, or other public places. Tell them honestly, that your child is autistic and that perhaps they should consider that maybe there is a reason why a child is acting the way he is, prior to giving their 2 cents. With regards to your child's tantrums, they never go away entirely, but, they do become less frequent as time goes on. The more your child can learn about the world, the less frustrated and anxious he will become. Imagine feeling like you are on another planet and you can't make people understand what you want or need or feel! This is everyday life for an autistic person. This is all new to you and I'm sure overwhelming.....just hang in there, I promise you that it does get better. 

Name: kat | Date: Jan 19th, 2006 8:48 PM
Hi Ice, I can totally empathize with your situation. My son is four and recently diagnosed autistic. We left New Orleans and came up north due to Hurrican Katrina.Doctors back home were giving us the runaround and I was unable to get a diagnosis. Shortly after Hurrican Katrina, my son had another of those fits you are describing, but only this one was at an intensity and length never before reached. We brought him to childrens hospital and they sent him to another hospital and he was diagnosed autistic & with a chromosome disorder....18p short arm deletion. He was placed on Risperdal and since then has not had anything like the before mentioned behavior. He is also getting ABA therapy which your state is supposed to provide for your child as well as schooling with one on one teacher, etc. He has improved a lot. He has said a couple of words now. I did it alone in New Orleans for four years, no help...but was trying. There are a number of places that are happy to help children like ours. The Department of Mental Retardation helps..and many other. I wish you luck for yourself and family. I know its hard and I know it sint over for me either. 


Name: dougie1220 | Date: Jan 22nd, 2006 2:51 AM
hi ice its ok dont worry what people think.i learned that first hand.my son is autisic.he had the same problems.we put our son on a wheat free glutten free diet.stay away from dairy and colors.it helped our son.and his stool started to form solid.if u switchand he doesnt want to eat it or drink it dont give in.if hes hungry anough hell eat.email me if u want to talk 

Name: Sue | Date: Jan 22nd, 2006 8:17 AM
Hi ice, i fully understand your frustration, my 3 year-old son is also autistic and throws tantrum easily, he would scream and runs around the shopping centre without having any knowledge of fear and danger out there...

At least your son is able to talk, mine can't talk at all, i feel totally helpless at this point, i tried all my best to teach him but in vain. Sometimes i even wonder if i've done something bad, why can't i have a normal child like any other parents?

Recently, i changed his milk powder to gluten-free formula and cut down his sugar level, no more 'gummy bear candy' especially, it did calm him down a little. I also try on organic food and bake our own bread.

He's under the waiting list for two autism schools, hopefully i get him a place in either school soon, i believe that we have to be patient towards them, i used to feel frustrated like you but i know it doesn't help him at all...

If you really can't cope or need a break, get someone to help you to look after him half day, it helps... My friend's son has recovered at age 7, he is now studying in a normal school is coping well there, our 3 year-old sons sure can do the same, be more patient with him, he doesn't want to behave that way too...

Bear in mind, you are not alone, there are so many parents with autistic kids out there and we are all doing our best... all to best to us!!! 

Name: Gina | Date: Jan 22nd, 2006 8:27 AM
My daughters are 4 and6 the oldest has autism and isn't yet potty trained either.The baby has PDD with autistic tendaceys,she isn't potty trained either. But they both now go to school and that has helped them and me cope. They have learned so much and I couldn't be more proud of them. We still have our bad days especially when they both turn on at the same time,and do they ever. Please Don't give up hope and keep praying God is listening,To let you know my oldest also self mutilates.Meaning she picks sores on her self and hits her self and makes awful places on her self. her fits last anywhere from minutes to hours. you can e-mail me at [email protected] . It would be nice to talk to someone who understands.The baby has got more emotional problems,both have speech problems,and both have occupational therapy too. 

Name: Corrina | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 9:07 PM
Hi
I just wanna chat with kid's but i can't find them can you help me? plz Im just olny 10 years old Mat 12 1995 i don't know you but it's okay 

Name: kerrie | Date: Feb 23rd, 2006 6:44 AM
hi ,I know exactly where you are coming from I have a little girl 5 yrs old she will be 6 in october. she is going to a sedu unit 3 days a week . she has been diagnosed with adhd and now after 3 yrs they are looking for autism spectrom disorder,my daughter see's occupational therapists , we did have her going to the toilet for no 2's although ,she is now soiling her pants ,sometimes I think she does not really know she is going . my daughter will be assessed at the end of the year ,for school starting the following year..... and that really scares me I have a choose of a mainstream school or special ed . also there is the constant worry of todays society ,than there is the constant talk from others{ it must be your parenting or there is no discipline involved.}my child does not know most of the time what she is getting into trouble for .but without the support of family as my sister in laws son has aspergers,we constantly give eachother support and my daughter plays with her cousin whenever he comes to visit . 

Name: Luna Tesfagiorgis | Date: Mar 13th, 2006 9:08 PM
I have a siter who is autistic she scream all day long if she stays home specially if she saw mom and dad. She usually ask for fast food even when she get it she still has to yell. She has a communication book but she don't want to use it. If we ask her what she needs in the book she throw the book in our face. what would you do? help please. 

Name: sarah | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 9:27 PM
It does get easier i use to be terrible! Impatient ,fustrated ,angry alone, embarressed.....! Then something strange happened i began to connect with my son, slowly glimpse into his world, i realised how perceptive they are. Almost as if his brain reversed he actually thrived on my reaction. I magically learnt to be calm and only react if really necessary. Things he would throw would be removed without saying much. He was very confused now he just has lots of praise. Im brave now and have become hardened to the stares and i take him out more , sometimes i whisper he is autistic look it up if you dont know what it is. I kind of look very young so get a lot of funny looks. I have now got a baby girl, i also work in this area and so does my husband. Let us know if you want advice. 

Name: Tanya | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 9:38 PM
I don't know where you live but in NJ we have a parent advocate organization called SPAN. You may look in to some thing like that. They will be able to direct you in the right direction. Also COSAC.org could also help you find the parent advocate in your area. Is you son in a special school? They could help you with an organization. If your state has an early intervention program (which he is too old for in my state) try calling them. They maybe nice enought to point you in a direction too. Even some special school. The parent advocate was very helpful for me with my insurance company and getting service through them. Also try your neurodevelopment doctor. They should know something. You special ed teacher in your preschool should also be a wealth of information.
I hope I helped. these people helped me.
Tanya 

Name: new book | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 10:22 PM
BOOK - Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum : A Parent's Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders by Chantal Sicile-Kira.



Now available: Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum is a complete guide to the cognitive, emotional, social, and physical needs of preteens

and teenagers on the spectrum, ranging from Asperger's Syndrome to those

severely impacted by autism. Using clear examples, practical advice, and supportive insights, this book covers:

- Health risks such as seizures and depression

- Treatments, therapies, and teaching strategies

- Teaching skills to cope with puberty, self-care, and social skills

- Teenage emotions, sexuality, appropriate relationships, and dating

- Middle school, high school, and developing an Individual Educational Program

- Preparing for life after high school

Author Chantal Sicile-Kira, author of Autism Spectrum Disorders (2005 ASA Outstanding Literary Work of the Year Award) is a national speaker and advocate who has been involved with autism spectrum disorders for nearly 20 years, as a professional and as a parent.

Some Reviews: "Earlier this year, I had the honor of reading Chantal Sicile-Kira's book Autism Spectrum Disorders. With Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum, she has once again written a book that should be read by every child on the autism spectrum. Chantal provides useful, practical, and insightful guidance on topics ranging from transition to sexuality. These are tough topics and she handles them with tremendous wisdom, frankness and grace. Any parent who opens this book will find a wealth of incredibly helpful information."

- Dr. Cathy Pratt, Director, Indiana Resource Center for Autism Chair,

National Autism Society of America (ASA)

"Parents raising a teenager on the spectrum will find this clearly written and carefully documented guidebook to be full of important information and practical advice. Helping adolescents transition from the pre-teen years through puberty and on to young adulthood is a difficult task. This book will provide invaluable help and guidance to both parents and professionals. It is highly recommended."

-Bernard Rimland, Ph.D., Director of the Autism Research Institute 

Name: tam | Date: Mar 15th, 2006 7:30 PM
Yes you can us to many words you have to think diffrently with your son time outs are working in my house i have a 6 year that has Autism and a 9 year old that has A.D.H.D so my house is bissy at the lest my son speeches very little i find when he hits my other son i all was say if you hit you sit two times then he has to sit for two minutes on a chair put a egg timer on massage therip helps in stores some times there is a lot of programs to help are you in ontario canda or the U.S in canda we have little peoples for children not in school it helps so much for getting them read for school and you 

Name: postscott | Date: Mar 27th, 2006 12:21 AM
1st i would contact Indiana resource center for autis. With all question ( if you are afraid to forget the questions then write them down) the number is 812-855-6508.Don't worry about the other parents. Trust God he will provide. Just explain your son is autistic. They should understand. Your son may understand EVERYTHING he probably having sensory problems. Sounds may be hurting his ears, certain smells,and his site may be affected.
God bless you.!! 

Name: jay | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 6:08 PM
how are you doing 

Name: jay | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 6:10 PM
what is your name 

Name: valerie | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 6:58 PM
my son is autistic and i know what you are going thru i could use some advice myself hes 2 and was diagnosed in january 2006 with autism and he to thwows fits and they can last awhile ,my husband and i constantly trying to calm him by offering him everything possible ,if we take him for a ride in the car it calms him but we find our self doing this 234 in the morning ,my husbsand is a graduate student and we have no family here and we are working with early intervention but it just started and have yet to see results but i guess that takes time. i could use someone to talk to because i to get embarassed when i go out in publicif people would just go on with there business and stop stareing it would be easier 

Name: valerie george | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 7:03 PM
[email protected] any advice or someone just to talk to is great i dont know any one that has an autistic child and would love to talk to other moms ..thanks 

Name: valerie george | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 1:57 AM
to:tgr4ef..............you need to find sometning else to besides being disrespectful...iam not sure how old you are iam assuming your a child......i hope when you have children that they have no problems because if they do your going to find yourself almost feeling like youve had a breakdown and you want be able to sleep and you find your self crying alot . this is for people wanting to be friends with other parents going thru the same things and looking for help and to read something like you wrote is speechless .....if it was a joke it made someone sad so did you accomplish what you was going at..i hope you see the wrong in your actions this is a sad time in alot of peoples lives......... 

Name: Jacqui | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 5:17 PM
just wondering, if there was a guide (manual) on different ways to approach managing your child's behaviour, perhaps a guide that introduces you to different options of managing behaviour and gives practical tips in each to try. Would anyone be interested in something like this? 

Name: dot | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 10:27 PM
I hope you will call

your local station in late March and April and request that they play

"Missing Pieces". Your calls will help push the song up the charts. 50% of

the profits from the song will be donated to fund biomedical treatments for

kids with autism. You

can help us help families. You can go to www.autismnela.org to hear a

snippet of "Missing Pieces" and order the Mark Leland CD online. Or send a

check payable to NE LA ASA to P.O. Box 4762, Monroe, LA 71211. Cost of

online and mail orders is $17 ($15 + $2 S& H).



Visit Mark's website http://www.markleland.net/ . Be sure to sign his

guest book and leave him a message. Mark's upcoming appearances will be

posted there. 

Name: mary | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 10:27 PM
Study Explores How Children With Disabilities Make Friends: How Can Parents and School Personnel Help?

by Pamela Thomas, Sunny Roller, Ann Scharnhorst, Sean Cunningham, and Seth Warschausky



Printable version: http://www.cenmi.org/focus/do
wnloads/march06/GATA06-01.pdf
 

Name: Terrie | Date: Apr 16th, 2006 1:21 AM
it takes about twice as much time to train them but boys in general are slower. I started training mt child at 3 1/2 but took about a year to get him to pee but it almost 2 to get him to have a bm it just takes a lot of patience don't give up he will surpise you one day 

Name: Diane | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 6:25 AM
Hi,

Give yourself credit for doing your best in a very challenging situation. I don't know where you live, but take advantage of all the services and help you can get. If there's a local support group, classes for parents of autistic children, go. I can't because of the hours my daughter works. Check out the Autism Society of America if you haven't already. If you're not in the United States, autism happen all over the world many countries have autism societies, etc. Be careful. There are people out there who will promise desperate parents miracles. They just want your money.

Check out www.autism.org (I hope that's right) its a site where high functioning autistic people write. It gives one a different perspective.

I know it's hard, but try to carve out some time for yourself. You need to stay healthy and strong physically, as well as, mentally. You can do it.

Good luck,
Diane 

Name: alli | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 12:38 AM
coeina hey im 10 2 if u wanna talk e mail me at [email protected] . ice its ok i have a yound=ger bro with autsim and he beats mme up 2 dont let him see colors and dont giv in 

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