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Name: Ainsley's mom
[ Original Post ]
My daughter is 10 months old and I think? I am ready to stop. I dont really know if WE are ready. I love it and so does she but I'm being pressured by a number of family members to stop. Almost all of my family members find it inappropriate to still be doing it. I have tried giving them all of the info on how good it is for both of us but they aren't getting it. I think its going to get to the point wher ei can't visit until we stop. PLEASE HELP!!! I know it is ultimately up to me but how do I do it without losing relationships? I am tired of trying to explain myself.
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Name: Ingrid | Date: Jun 20th, 2005 5:44 PM
It's so sad that people think it's abnormal to to be breastfeeding a ten month old. There was a time when children were breastfed until they were 3 or even older! I think if you want to keep doing it, then you should be able to. But if your family and friends (who should really be more supportive) are pressuring you, then maybe you can try slowly weaning your daughter. Give her a bottle when you're out in public or when you're around the "nay-sayers". When you're at home and it's just the two of you, then breastfeed. 

Name: Niki | Date: Jun 20th, 2005 8:12 PM
I breastfed my daughter til ashe was 2 1/2 yrs old. she is now 5 yrs old I think the child will tell you when it is time to stop feeding 

Name: BottleMom | Date: Jun 20th, 2005 8:42 PM
I think it's kind of weird to keep breastfeeding your child beyond the age of one. I mean, the kid has to learn to let go sometimes and feed itself. I think moms are sometimes too eager to keep their babies attached to themselves. You have to let your kid grow up and do things on their own. 

Name: Rena | Date: Jun 22nd, 2005 4:18 PM
Let's just clear one thing up first. Even if a mother decides to continue breastfeeding after a baby starts solids, doesn't mean that her baby cannot feed his/herself. They are quite capable of doing so. It seems a lot of people think that just because a mother continues to nurse past this point, that they are somehow holding their babies back or don't want to let go. The reality is that they are giving their babies the best possible start in life they could ever have. The APA recommends mother's breastfeed their babies until they are at least one year old. Let's repeat: AT LEAST ONE YEAR OLD. In addition, they recommend that mothers continue breastfeeding longer than a year if they are able to because this it has so many positive effects on their baby's entire life. The time I take and decisions I make now to breastfeed longer, will positively effect the rest of my son's life. Why wouldn't I want to give him the best chance I can. I'm currently still breastfeeding my 11 month old son, and plan to do so for as long as he still wants to. My jorney with breastfeeding thus far has certainly not been easy either. I am a full-time working mom and have to pump three times a day (15 times a week total) to maintain my supply. Plus when my son was six months old he had open heart surgery and I had to exclusively pump three days straight (every three hours/24 hours a day). But we got through it and I am so glad I made the decision to give continue. There is no better reward than knowing you are doing the best you can for your little one, and let's face it they are little for such a short period of tiem. If my family/friends object, that is their opinion only. It doesn't mean that they are necessarily right, or that I have to change my life to suit their opinions. I would never let their opinions lead me to make changes that will effect only my and my son's life. Ainsley's mom, please don't let them effect your decision, because it's your's and your's alone. Do what's right for you and your baby and don't let others interfear. A few years from now you'll look back and be so happy you made the right choice. If you need support contact a local La Leche Leauge. Those moms are fabulous and know what you're going through. They can help you to make the right decision. 

Name: Peggy | Date: Jun 26th, 2005 10:55 AM
Please don't let your family pressure you into weaning your daughter if you both arn't ready. I am still nursing my 13 month old son.

As for BottleMom .. you obviously have no clue what it is like to breasfeed a child. My son is a very happy, well adjusted little boy who eats very well and while he is attached to me (what baby isn't attached to his/her mother) he is also very independent. My son feeds himself and does very well at it too. 

Name: LB | Date: Jun 29th, 2005 12:26 AM
I breastfed my first daughter exclusively for 7 months and at night until she was 19 months old (and caught some flack for it), but she was a good nurser, woke up a lot at night and it was sooo convenient. My second daughter is 8 months old now. I nursed her exclusively for 3 months and I am thinking of weaning totally now. She is a terrible nurser who wiggles so much that I cannot figure out a way to feed her in public. She also sleeps well through the night and already mostly eats solids. The point is that its really dependent on you and your baby. If it isn't broken, don't fix it ! On the other hand, if one or the both of you are ready to move on, don't feel bad. You've done a great thing already! Let me tell you, no matter what you decide, some will be supportive and some will be judgemental. There is no more controversial issue than breastfeeding your child. 

Name: Tia | Date: Jul 1st, 2005 9:11 AM
My friend still breastfeeds her 4 year old son. It's a personal choice. This is the only country that looks down on breastfeeding so don't let anyone discourage you. My son just stopped at 13 months. I wasn't ready but he was. My entire family looked down upon breastfeeding from the begining. They'd always make me go into a different room to nurse. My mother in law even told me I was degrading myself. There are going to be a lot of decisions that you are going to have to make that your family won't agree on. Stand up for yourself now and set some boundaries. Ask them to please respect your decision and keep their opinions to themselves. When I stopped taking my son to peoples houses they changed their attitudes really quick. 

Name: Mya'sMommy | Date: Jul 19th, 2005 2:57 PM
Ok, well no one has answered the how question yet. Any suggestions? 

Name: HSH | Date: Jul 19th, 2005 4:26 PM
breastfeeding a 4 year old? that is seriously messed up.

a 10 month old sounds perfectly normal to me. i read recently that, from breast milk, there is very little nutrtional benefit for the child past 12-18 months. everyone agrees one year is best, as far as doctors are concerned. seriously, after a certain point, it starts to be about the mother's desire to feel needed more than the child's need for nourishment.

Ainsley's mom - if you feel YOU are ready to stop, then stop. Ten months is much longer than most women BF and if you aren't BOTH into it, don't continue, or do it only 1 or 2 times a day. You can still maintain a supply and be able to give milk for a bedtime snack or something. 

Name: Sara | Date: Jul 19th, 2005 4:44 PM
I breastfed my daughter until she was 14 months. By that time she was ready and so was I. I started gradually when she was around 11 months, cutting the feedings down and then untimately stopped at 14 months. I say wait until both of you are ready, it will be alot easier...and don't let anyone else try and tell you what decision to make...its not their business. 

Name: ashley | Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 12:22 AM
no one should be breastfeeding their 4 yr. old- thats just degrading. what is the kid going to do when it starts going to kindergarden?--thats just really messed up... 

Name: Kelly | Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 6:52 PM
I have a 3 year old son and I breasfed him until he was 10 months old, I only stopped because I was working full time and was finding it hard to keep pumping while working. I felt like my milk supply was slowing down. I wanted to try for at least 12 months........only you can decide when it is time to stop breastfeeding, don't let others tell you otherwise. It's a very personal thing between you and your baby. Good luck!!! 

Name: going batty | Date: Jul 25th, 2005 6:03 PM
I don't think you should let anyone pressure you into giving up something that is so good for you and your baby...but if you are giving in you know you can do both. My children all both bottle and breastfed at some point. Every baby is different about weaning. For your well being as well as successful weaning you have to wean out one feeding at a time. Therefore, when you get down to the amount of breastfeedings you want you just stop cutting out feedings. For example my first child held on to just nighttime breastfeeding for quite a while. My last child did half and half for a long time -half of his feedings were breast and half were bottle. I always found it easier to wean a feeding by having someone else feed the baby with a bottle at the designated feeding. Atleast until the baby decided the bottle was acceptable. Wait 2-3 days minimal between each added bottle feeding if you want to continue some breastfeeding. If you are ready then pick one feeding, pick a good formula and have Daddy or Auntie or someone give the bottle....beware the more bottle feedings you introduce the more likely she is to wean herself completely. And there is always the possiblity once you introduce the bottle she will like the "speed of the feed" and begin to reject the breast. Have you considered pumping your milk for her....would that ease tension among the relatives? My sister-in-law pumped for 8 months for her daughter. If you pump often enough and have a good pump your milk supply won't diminsh. You could always bottle feed when you are visiting and do as you please at home. There are many options besides just complete weaning. I would weigh all the options before deciding. Good Luck! 

Name: EMMA | Date: Sep 5th, 2005 9:00 PM
I would be really sad if you stopped. I have eight month old boy i'm still breastfeeding I love it. I will stop when he wants to and not before all my family think this is wrong.I have had to fight them all to get this far!
I think they are crazy my body was built for this if i should stop the milk would stop. I sounds crazy to me that milk from a cow is more exceptable !!! It is your choice dont be bullied to change so you fit in with what others want you to do . Be confident when you say this is what you want and they might get the message. 

Name: kit | Date: Sep 6th, 2005 8:05 PM
As the mother of 8 children...all breastfed,( 4 of them until age 3), I say, forget what ANYONE else thinks. Do what you know is best for you and your baby. Starting to breastfeed was easy. Stopping was difficult for me and each child. They all tuned out great! Not a weirdo in the bunch. 

Name: tdcurry | Date: Sep 7th, 2005 3:25 AM
Up untill the last 20 years doctors were being taught that formula was better that breastmilk. The medical community is not always right. Breast is best even after a year. Your milk changes to meet the growing needs of you 1, 2 and 3 year olds it will continue to meet there needs untill you wean. I breastfeed untill my daughter was 22 months and no family member or friend would dear tell me not too because they were educated by me if they asked questions 

Name: amena | Date: Sep 13th, 2005 5:49 PM
I am still breastfeeding my 10 month old, and I absolutely understand what you're going through. People think it's weird for whatever reason. I wait tables and constantly set coworkers in their place when I hear the comment "Oh my god that woman just took her boob out at the table, why doesn't she go to the bathroom to do that!" It's ridiculous that something so natural has become so abnormal in societies eyes. I finally decided that I have the healthiest happiest child of anyone else and those who are uncomfortable with it can pretty much get over it.

Name: amanda | Date: Nov 6th, 2005 1:37 AM
my daughter is 11 month old. Even all my family members are asking me to stop breast feeding. I am trying my best to feed her with sippy cup and she only drinks one ounce. I am realy worried.I am facing same problem from my family members. 

Name: Taylor2009 | Date: Aug 4th, 2009 2:29 PM
You're worried about the wrong people... the most important relationship you need to worry about keeping is that with your daughter. And don't lose it prematurely because someone else said so.
My son is 9 months old, eating solids and breast milk. I want to keep going with breast feeding AND I just found out I'm pregnant (really happy about it). I've noticed that my milk has decreased (a lot). Should I start supplementing my son's breast milk with formula? I really don't want to but how do I know if he's getting enough and how do I keep going? Could anyone please help? 

Name: Mandie72 | Date: Aug 12th, 2009 9:42 PM
I weaned my oldest daughter before we were ready. At the time, I was a teenage mother and gave into the pressure from (my former) In-laws, ex-husband, and friends who didn't think babies should be breastfed beyond 3-6 months old. I really wish I had nursed her longer and she is now 20-years-old. (I even got nasty comments such as "I wouldn't enjoy being a cow for my daughter!)" Ugh!!
Some people will never change their opinion and it is better, I feel, to just accept that and not waste your time trying to change them. But the most important thing is too be true to yourself. If you want to wean, you can offer a cup with breastfeedings and then nurse a little less, but if you both are happy breastfeeding, do what you feel is right.This way you won't have any regrets.
Also, you could continue to nurse part-time. I was happy to do that with my one-year-old son and younger daughter. For example, in the mornings or at bed-time when your likely to be at home. Just let people think that she has weaned. Most people will assume that at a year in our culture if they don't see you nursing. The only ones that asked me if they was still breastfed were doctors born in breastfeeding friendly countries and they were fine with it...if fact, very supportive.
Also you might consider joining a locale chapter of Le Lache Leauge were you will get support. 

Name: Mandie72 | Date: Aug 12th, 2009 9:54 PM
"breastfeeding a 4 year old? that is seriously messed up."

Most cultures throughout the world have nursed their children for 3 to 5 years, rather than months that we Americans are trained to think of. An Apache friend of mine was nurse for six years and his brothers and sisters weaned at around three-years-old. They are all well-balanced, caring, successful people. That's common among the Dineh...and sometimes girls are nursed for six or seven years. I'm Ojibway and on the reservation that my great grandmother came from children are often nurse 2 or 3 years, although a fair number also bottle-feed. 

Name: mcbaby | Date: Sep 16th, 2009 5:53 AM
There will always be people with opinions about how you should raise your kids but their opinions are NOT important. I breastfed my daughter until two days before her 2nd birthday and we both loved every minute of it. Wait until YOU are ready or else you may regret your decision later. I could tell by 18 months that my in-laws didn't approve but it was none of their business. My theory is that they got to raise their kids their way and I get to raise my kids my way. They tricky part will be keeping my mouth shut someday when my kids raise their children differently than I would like them too, ha ha. 

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