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I was just curious to know if it is really normal for a 13 yr. old teenage brother to be rubbing on his 12 yr. old brother's back? These are my step children and I love them just like my own children. I just never experienced this with my own children who are now grown. These boys also at times want to sit as close to their dad as possible and the 12 yr. old is like a leach at times on his dad's heals. I was just wondering if it was something to be somewhat concerned about. The boy's have been home school since they were in school. The boys now attend a public school just as of last year. The boys are extremely close and do everything together. They don't even go to friends houses without each other. Please give me some advice and let me know if I really have nothing to be concerned about. Thanks ↓
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| Name: Christy-military mom | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 4:06 PM |
| I have stepchildren also. Just like with siblings of the opposite sex, there needs to be boundries. At 12 and 13 no child needs to "touching" another in that manner. Maybe teach them at their age it is inapproprate to touch others. A rule we use in our house: No touching any parts that a t-shirt and pants can cover. And since we have both boys and girls in our house all under the age of 16. The boys don't sit by other girls unless it is their sister and the same for our daughter. She cannot sit be boys that aren't her brothers. It just makes the boundries clear. Hope this helps. ↑ |
| Name: Sharla | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 6:50 PM |
I think that one rubbing the others back is a bit excessive, but hey! Have you tried talking to them about it? They might think it's completly normal, ya never know. Plus, as you said the closeness comes from them having been homeschooled together for so many years.
Christy, a boy cant sit next to a girl unless its his sister? Ive never heard anything more ridiculous in my entire life! ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 7:54 PM |
| Hello Cheryl...I don't think you have anything to worry about. When I was younger my sister and I use take turns rubbing each others backs (a little remedy to help each other sleep). My sister and I came from a broken family too...We were very close growing up as kids and we still are. Whats the story with your step children do they live with you and their father part time or full time? If they are only there part time that could be the reasoning for the constant need to be near their father....Being home schooled would be another factor of the boys being so close, they only ever had each other...Not like being in a public school where the 13yr old will have his friends and the 12yr old will have his own friends.I think you may see a change in the boys behaviour as school progresses..Some kids are just close like that.....Usually high school is when brothers and sisters will part more and hang out with different friends..(it was this way for my sister and I) I dont think you have any major things to worry about here. They seem like a couple of close brother's... :) ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 7:44 PM |
| Maybe it's an anxiety thing to where they just want to be close to each other.I mean they already lost their family as they knew it over divorce I'm assuming so they are clinging on to what they still have which is each other and their dad. They are still young so I wouldn't be alarmed. In time they will probably become more independent. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 12:57 AM |
Some kids are just more affectionate. is the father a touchy feely type? My son Brandon (25) is a big hugger to this day. I guess we are like that in our family. I guess it all depends on, is this out of charactor for the famly. Also do the kids live with you or only visitation? They could be glad to see there Dad.
also amother thought came to me. Are they immature, My kids are a bit immature. we snuggle alot and hold hands in wal-mart so on. well the 11 year old wont in public but the 25 yr old did till high school he didnt even care if his friends saw. He would silmpy say hey I love my mom. get over it. I always admired him for that because I dont thik I would of done the same with my mom. She would however sneak and hold my had at church. She still does to this day. I think its sweet. ↑ |
| Name: Cheryl | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 3:29 PM |
Girly 29,
The boy's don't live with us. They actually live in another State and come to visit at Christmas and in the Summer. The thing is, is that the 12 yr. old is the same way with his mom as he is with his dad. The 13 yr. old feels he has to do whatever his brother wants so he does not get into trouble. The thing is he doesn't get in to trouble here if he does not do everything his brother wants. The 12 yr. old is real good at making the 13 yr. old feel very guilty. They are very close and I am glad of that also. I just feel that they need some time away from each other and to socialize with other kids by themselves. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 7:42 PM |
| If you feel the boy's need some separation then maybe talk to your husband about the boys switching off comming for visits instead of both of them comming together.Like for each visit,have one come earlier and the other come later this way they still get to be together at some point but they also are separated for a time too. It's just a thought! ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 10:03 PM |
| Hi Cheryl.......Also maybe rather than have the children come visit separatley, you could spend quality time with each child individually allowing time for the boys to have a little of their own time with each of you's.......Explaining to the 12 yr old that he sometimes must entertain himself at times and not always rely on his brother for company would help him understand that his brother is not his personal entertainment center.....It's good that the13yr old is not scolded at your home for not wanting to play with his brother.....I think the children's mother should also implement your theroy to the 12yr old at her house too. :) ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 10:21 PM |
There is nothing wrong with you taking one child and your husband taking the other. We do this from time to time. My husband will take our son and Ill take my daughter. It is good for us all. We can spend some good quality time. Sometimes the kids will be easier to talk to and enjoy visiting with when its calm. Im sure you know how kids can feed off each other and get wild. Then we just switch kids so everything stays fair.
With visitation being court ordered I dought if you can split the visit. Good luck and I would be glad to help anyway I can. ↑ |
| Name: kelsie morton | Date: Aug 23rd, 2006 10:06 PM |
| will you be my boyfriend ↑ |
| Name: kristyn | Date: Aug 23rd, 2006 11:03 PM |
| Name: to Kristyn | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 6:51 PM |
| kristyn go to your room your going to be spanked ↑ |
| Name: millie | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 3:08 PM |
| well it sounds like they really like each other in one way (gay) but wats wrong in scratching a brothers back ↑ |
| Name: Rebecca | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 10:59 PM |
| Name: big j | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 10:49 PM |
| Name: rosa | Date: Sep 2nd, 2006 8:19 PM |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 2:42 AM |
| You did say the boys only visit their dad only twice a year once at christmas and the other in the summer, that may verry well be why the boys want to be close to dad. As for the back rubbing...I think you are makeing more of it than there really is, it is only a back rub! If it were to girls would it be looked at as strange or unusual? No I dont think so! dont worrie it sounds like the boys are just close brothers, be glad for that! they could hate one another and constantly be arguing. ↑ |
| Name: holly | Date: Sep 5th, 2006 6:37 PM |
| hi is there any fit boys whos 11 years old who wants a chat to a fit 11 year old girl ↑ |
| Name: melisah | Date: Sep 8th, 2006 12:47 AM |
| its coz they were home school so they r best friends i dont think there is anything to worrie bout ask em how they r feeling ↑ |
| Name: Tiffani | Date: Sep 9th, 2006 4:41 PM |
| Name: [3 Rachel [3 | Date: Sep 9th, 2006 7:53 PM |
| i sorta bumped into this site by accident bcos i'm rly bored right now. I'm also 13 years old, and i have always been in a public school. To be honest i find two guys rubbing eachother kind of creepy! ↑ |
| Name: micah | Date: Sep 13th, 2006 2:31 AM |
| hey what are you doing right now ↑ |
| Name: hey | Date: Sep 16th, 2006 2:53 AM |
| Name: kaitlin | Date: Sep 17th, 2006 1:35 AM |
| Name: kaitlin | Date: Sep 17th, 2006 1:35 AM |
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