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Name: Debra | Date: Nov 20th, 2007 6:50 PM
Im on child support and one of my children has just turnt 16 she wants to get a job how will this effect my benefits? 

Name: Lory | Date: Nov 21st, 2007 2:04 AM
Debra...it should not effect your bennies whatsoever. My sd..had a kid @ 15...(she's 22 now) it didn't effect bennies at all... in fact our insurance paid for the birth of our grandababy.....apparently as long as mom was paying a dollar a month..it was all good. My middle sd worked from the time she was 16....it didn't affect mom's bennies either.....and, she was able to file a return too. Also...both of these kids were kicked out at these ages too....we still had to cough it up to mom. At least that's how it worked in the lovely state of Colorado. Good Luck! 

Name: Tyler | Date: Nov 26th, 2007 4:55 PM
Well, unfortunately, rarely does the child support actually go to supporting the child, It ends up paying for new vehicles, larger homes, new clothing FOR MOM, dates, etc. Dad is not going to be held hostage in a job that maybe he dislikes just so his ex can live a material lifestyle. 

Name: Beth | Date: Nov 26th, 2007 7:48 PM
I feel your pain. My ex doesn't help pay for ANYTHING extra. We even had to go back to lawyers and ended up with a mediator who said that I couldn't ask him to do that, as that was covered in the child support. (minimal as well). Doesn't matter he gets part of MY military retirement just for being married to me for six years, he didn't help with the kids, didn't work for two years, had affairs and was abusive. Am I bitter? Probably, and it burns me that he doesn't choose to help out in the extra activities (sports) that the kids do. Good luck, but if you go back to court, they will probably say that is what child support is for. 

Name: Danielle | Date: Dec 18th, 2007 8:50 PM
I'm a non-custodial parent, and the court order I'm under states that any extra-curricular activities should be split 50/50. However, my ex wanted to let my son have private golf lessons at $75 each, and I said no, because it was a frivolous expense for a child who was only 7 at the time, and who barely picks up the club now. Be mindful of your ex's situation, because although you parent in separate homes, you still co-parent. 

Name: VeggieMom2B | Date: Dec 19th, 2007 5:24 PM
agree with SErina, never speak badly or blame the other parent children. He is not a bad person if he can no longer afford to pay for something. You never know down the road if he will make up in other ways. Try to be flax and understanding. Raising kids together isn't exact science :) 

Name: KP | Date: Dec 29th, 2007 9:15 PM
You receive child support. That is supposed to cover the expenses of the children. If the amount goes down as a result of your ex's new job, you and the children need to discuss the situation and live within your means. Why make your ex the bad guy in this? Divorce effects everyone and the children need to know that they have to learn to accept the new life you all have. Balance and moderation are a part of life. Have each child pick one or 2 activities that they enjoy and pay for those from the child support payments you receive. If there are others that they want to participate in, have them find a way to earn extra money to pay for it or have them put it on their Christmas or Birthday gift list. They will appreciate it more in the long run and you will be teaching them a very valuable life lesson. 

Name: Lynn | Date: Jan 1st, 2008 3:38 AM
Help! Here it is New Years Eve and I am frantically searching the web for child support ans. Please someone help. I live in NYS with my husband of 11 years and our two children ages 11 and 7. Recently my child was approached by a child (age 17) stating that his mother told him my husband was his father(Yeah, Mery Christmas to us, Huh?) My husband admits that he had relations with the women around the time in question. He thinks a blood test is only fair and resonable to put an end to all questions. ( I don't agree, but thats another story) My question is: If he is the father and now they want child support does he owe support from the date the child was born or from the date he became aware that he was the father??? Please help. Lynn 

Name: Ray | Date: Jan 2nd, 2008 10:51 PM
I have a question regarding the agreement my ex and I have 

Name: mother | Date: Jan 18th, 2008 4:30 PM
i haven't gotton money from the father at all this month what should i do 

Name: What | Date: Jan 18th, 2008 5:46 PM
Mother, if you consider having sex with him perhaps he may just pay the child support. Try that! 

Name: Sally J Taylor | Date: Jan 24th, 2008 3:56 AM
is this a chat room 

Name: VICTOR MARTINEZ | Date: Jan 25th, 2008 5:21 PM

Name: Sue | Date: Feb 3rd, 2008 3:40 PM
Me and my ex had a hearing for modification for support he claims he needs to go out on disabilty he owes back support i had already gotten some of that. At the hearing i did not agree so now it's back to court .Now i had receive another complaint for support by him what does that me even know we are going for the hearing that i did not agree with.Thank You 

Name: pita | Date: Feb 3rd, 2008 10:52 PM
My kids father was striped from his income taxes refund for child support? Am i intitled to that money and if so who do i contact for it. 

Name: girli_bird | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 1:50 AM
has he been good about paying support in the past? If so then he most likly is having the support reveiwed becuase he dosen't think he can afford to pay what he was before. If I were you I would sit down with him before the new child support is set and say " if it is very low is there any way that you can help out more when the kids have a activity. If he can great! if he can't look for programs in your area that help kids pay for shoes/ uniforms or the cost of enrolement for the sport or activites. There are many out there becuase of the studis that show kids are more likly to stay out of trouble if they are in activites . If you can't get any help then ask your kids what activites they would be willing to drop or replace for cheaper ones. You might be surprised to fing that there are some that they would be wiling to drop with out much thought. I wouldn't tell them that they can't be in them becuase their dad isn't helping out as much as he should. I think that would cause unnessasary hurt fealings. good luck. 

Name: Kellie | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 2:26 AM
I have a question about child support and taxes .... My ex is being a jerk always trying to prove me wrong, but this time I really don't know that I am right, though I think I am. Is anyone up for talking? 

Name: caucajun32 | Date: Feb 4th, 2008 10:37 PM
As you stated you and your ex have "other" children, When more children are in the mix, your ex should have had a hearing to re-evaluate his support to you, support is based on many factors and one of them is the number of children involved that need support.
Your ex has a lower paying job now and it is very appropriate for a re-evalutation.
You say that your ex attends his childrens extra-curricular activities, this is a sign of a father that cares and loves his children. My father never would allow me to join any outside activities that cost money; ie, boy scouts, football, nothing at all.
He never took me to a movie, or played pitch and catch.
He did take me to a colledge football game once, but he stopped by a hookers house to have sex while I waited in this strange persons living room.
Sounds like to me he is a very good father, he does have more children to spread the support over.
You also have more children to spread your finance's over. What you are worried about is that if your support from him is dimminished, you will have less for your newer children, or that you will keep up whatever activities for the newer children have, and have to cut back on your ex's children. It's a terrible choice.
You asked if it would be fair to ask him to help or split the cost's for the children from your marriage with him.

It's absolutely .........."Fair", ................ "To Ask",............. to demand Totally Foul Play, and any type of "Emotional Blackmail" would be totally out of line.

Life isn't always about making kids happy, taking responsible care of them is. This would be an important "life Lesson for them, in that when we as humans do things we can't afford, they get repossessed, taken away, we have to re adjust to what we can afford. It may juts keep your children a wake up call that life isn't about being a ........ Human doing, ......... and really more about being a ........"human being". Humans have got some crazy idea that we need to be doing something all the time, shopping at the mall, going on vacation, going to church, going to whatever, and it all involves spending money.

My baby mamma, eats out 6 nights a week, my daughter is in a private school, they are always at WalMart, buying useless stuff.
She drives a 2005 Toyota that costs her over $450 a month, she is living way beyond her means and expects everyone else to pay for it.

I want my daughter in public school, we have great public schools here, yet I don't have any imput. I warned her about buying the Toyota, and she is always having trouble paying for it.
She also has full coverage insurance, which isn't cheap.

I drive a 1995 Chevy pickup that I rebuilt for a total investment of $2000 and have to only buy liability insurance for around $550 a year.

We think we "deserve" all this stuff out of life, yet we need to earn it, and then save it for a rainy day.

You said little of your life style, at what level you live, well if your ex' has his ducks in a row for the hearing you will have less money coming in.

Be civil and polite and ask him if he can still help with the kids activity costs, if his answer is, "I really can't", figure something else out, but never blame your ex, for what life has handed him.

I had a job paying over 50k a year when my daughter was born and three years later the plant closed, and I had no job. At 43, I am only making about 12k to 15k and thats only because I work under the table and am paid cash, if tax's were taken out I would be one broke person, I am barely staying alive, and I have zero frills other than a movie evry now and then with my daughter, she's 7 so I could care less about the movie we are watching, it's just spending time with her. 

Name: Laurie | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 2:35 AM
My ex owes over $24,000 in child support to my children. I know that saying no is hard, but the children are old enough to know that the reason they might not be able to do all the extra-curricular actitivies is because Dad's not paying his half. My own children did not get to play hockey when they were young for that reason. Let him explain to your children why they can't participate in the things they love. 

Name: Teri | Date: Mar 1st, 2008 6:32 PM
In the state of Iowa the support can only be reviewed by a judge every two years. If It does go in front of a judge request that he pays half of activeities (such as sports for the children) explain to the judge that you based your life around that set amount before and that you cant afford to have kids do sports if he doesn't help. Child support goes for "SHELTER" "FOOD" CLOTHING" etc.. Tell them that you spend it on that and the children really would like to be in sports. And see what the judge says. 

Name: Teri | Date: Mar 1st, 2008 6:56 PM
Well my b/f and I just had a son. And his ex wife lost her kids "THREE" times to DHS due to leaving the kids unattened. She going paid 120$ for four kids. and she got the three girls back in sept of 06. She took Us to court in march of 07 (a month before mine and his son was due) for child support and back child support. She was trying to get child support back from Sept when she got the kids. But I always told my b/f that you "NEED" to stand up for yourself and say what is on your mind. He did. And we only had to pay back child support from Jan of 07 instead of Sept of 06. We pay 298. a month for three girls. She lost the two younger girls in July of 07 because this was the third time she has left them home alone and got caught so they lived w/there father and I. They just return to her home in Nov 9,07. and in the first week she wasn't suppose to leave them w/her husband alone because he has two counts of child abuse against two of the girls. The "FIRST" week she had them back she wasn't home in time for the children and they were left alone w/her husband. DHS didn't do a thing about it. they just called her and confronted her and told her not to do it again. (She already knows that she shouldn't of done it. my god she is 40 years old??? Is she really that stupid that she can figure that out if its in the papers from DHS!!! I mean I even knew it. .so she pays us 92.00 a month. And we pay her 298.00 a month. We have two children half time w/her and she has one child full time and two half time. I dont understand why she is paying us and why we are paying her ALMOST 300.00$ for ONE child that is going to be 17 in july and has a job. umm. doesn't sound right. Miss E. I think you should contact child support recovery and ask them or tell them that he is in the guard and see what they say tell them how long he has been in there. Because your children should recieve some kindof vetreans insurance or something if there awhere of it. 

Name: Teri | Date: Mar 1st, 2008 7:07 PM
Vicky I'm not sure what state you live in but in the state of iowa on the child support web site https://childsupport.dhs.state.ia.us/welcome.asp you can find a chart that tell you a percentage that you will pay on your and the others income 

Name: Teri | Date: Mar 1st, 2008 7:12 PM
Soke I have a job Raising five kids. Four are my b/f's w/his ex and one is mine. It takes A LOT out of you expectly my youngest is 10 months today. So you say us "MOM'S" have to get a job. Some of us work two to three job plus, college, raising children while a lot of what you so called "FATHERS" sit on there ass and have them EVERY OTHER Weekend. Wow you work umm what 40 hrs a week? Try working "EVERY min of the day. If you have kids that's what your doing it "NEVER" stops. 

Name: Robn | Date: Mar 6th, 2008 11:29 PM
be glad your getting something,, my children are owed over 29K and the courts and bench warrent division wont do a thing about it , even though he has lived in the same home for over 10 years 

Name: JAmie | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 5:00 PM
Do I have to pay any child support before we are divorced? 

Name: candy | Date: Mar 19th, 2008 10:50 PM
Check out the kids deserve support Jaki's Law petition on care2.com 

Name: chuck | Date: Mar 21st, 2008 1:07 AM
i am 38 years old now and just found out who my real father is. Is there any way i could get my child support for my first 18 years of life 

Name: me | Date: Mar 22nd, 2008 4:20 PM
i give her money all the time for child support 300$ here 200$ there. i gave her 300$ 2 weeks ago. i gave her 500$ last month am i wrong if i dont give her money? 

Name: michelle | Date: Mar 23rd, 2008 12:11 AM
I am wondering if he fell into hard times. I don't know who would take a cut in pay unless he is a deadbeat dad. Sounds like the two of you are raising your children together. Sounds like a beautiful thing to me. Give it some time and see if the child support goes down. If it does, wait and see what happens. Please don't become the type of parents that makes hurting the other parent a priority. It's about the children and working as hard as you can to make sure your children become loving, caring adults. We have enough sadness going on in this world with our families. Pray about it and your answer will come. And put yourself in his shoes. I wouldn't tell you I lost my job if I did...think about it. Flip side, if he did like my son father has done for 14 years...quit jobs when the first child support check was deducted...then that's a different story. You have to stand your grand and do not waver. I wavered with the court orders and it wasn't best for our child. 

Name: victoria | Date: Mar 26th, 2008 3:41 PM
I'm in the process of getting marry next month, will this afect my child support? Does my new hubsband salary be taken in consideration? 

Name: Lory | Date: Mar 27th, 2008 1:38 PM
Victoria---No...your new hubby's income will not be a factor in child support. It will always be based on yours & your x's income. 

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