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Name: ellie1
[ Original Post ]
I'm a stay-at-home mom right now and I'm contemplating a divorce. We have a 9 mo. old daughter that I'm very worried about. I'm not sure what type of custody arrangements the courts will hand down. Right now I am the only one who really takes care of her primarily because I stay home with her. I will feed, change, bathe, play, and take care of any of her needs. He plays with her when he can because he has a busy schedule with his son, but there are days when he doesn't even see or talk to her. When we talked about divorce he says he wants half custody of her but she's so young to be dragged from day care then to the son's practice. She has a very set schedule and she's in bed at 7:30pm. He doesn't get home until 6pm and then takes his son to practice 3 x's a week at 7:30pm. What will become of our daughter? Also I still breastfeed and she hasn't been taking very well to formula. Will the courts take into consideration that she still needs to feed with me? One very last question will it hurt my case that I am a stay-at-home mom? I'm looking for a job but what if I don't find a great paying job right away and end up moving back to my mom's until I can find something that will support my daughter and I.
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Name: The Jangler | Date: Jun 2nd, 2007 2:49 AM
do every other weekend type visitations with maybe one evening in the middle of the week. 

Name: ellie1 | Date: Jun 2nd, 2007 3:28 AM
I heard that the courts are in favor of a 50 - 50 arrangement. I would love to have the visitations set for every other weekend and one or two evenings during the week (as long as she's not spending the night). My husand also said he'll fight me for 50% of the custody. I just want to know what the courts are ruling in favor of these days for infants her age. 

Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Jun 3rd, 2007 9:40 PM
Probably not too much to begin with. I don't think they would go for 50/50 at her age. They will increase it as she gets older. Don't worry about your employment status - your daughter is only a baby - of course you're a SAHM - there's nothing wrong with that at all. 

Name: billy22 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 12:06 AM
Hang in there Ellie1, the courts are not crazy about taking the kids away from moms especially when the are younger. However, it can depend on what state you're from. I know in my state that the courts have let the father have equal rights and visitation but it's according to the county guidelines that they have created, which is usually every other weekend and alternating holidays.....your employment status won't matter. In my opinion, I think it's wonderful that you can do that ! Hope some of this info is helpful, I too have been through some of this. 

Name: ellie1 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 3:14 AM
thank you all for the advise! I've been spending so much time looking a for a job I think my daughter is starting to notice she is getting less time with mommy. She won't let me leave her now. One more thing about the custody, should I get a lawyer? I'm not sure I can go through a long court battle. I heard they can go on forever. I know of one who person delt with my old co-worker's case but they were $5k just to start. I could deal with that but not much more. 

Name: ellie1 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 3:17 AM
Sorry last question I swear... If I move back to my mom's for a bit I would be in one room with my daughter while at her Dad's house she will have her own room. Will that hurt my case? 

Name: billy22 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 9:27 PM
The room situation shouldn't hurt your case I wouldn't think.....but yes you should get an attorney! They are not cheap, but so worth it in the end because a lot of people don't know what their rights are. We spent around 5k on ours and continue to pay them for other issues when they come up because we were tired of the ex's new wife harrassing us all the time. So we made it so that ALL communication is to be dealt with through our attorney. Good Luck with everything:) 

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