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Name: Lory | Date: Apr 13th, 2008 8:35 PM
*lien* on our home 

Name: Marjtheex | Date: Apr 13th, 2008 10:25 PM
Lory - after your 2 years ... then they come after you for education costs, wedding expenses (to which you will have no input), then the grandkids .... I am on my 34th year, the bitter ex is still on the seen and now I am faced with pulling the plug on a 30 year 2nd marriage because there is NO END TO THIS. 

Name: Lory | Date: Apr 14th, 2008 12:17 AM
Marjtheex---Been there done that too...nope our court order didn't state responsibility to post secondary education...our attorney had our backs on that one! She tried tho..lol! We have 3 grandbabies already...that we are not usually allowed to be part of...the brainwashing continues. Our stepson is his last child to be financially responsible to HER for. I know she will NEVER be completely out of the picture....but....WE can pick & choose where we would like to help the kids out financially...not have to be obligated financially to some fool who does nothing but live off of it!

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. 30 yrs is a very long time to have put up with it all....and...tho I don't know your situation....don't give in that easily. I've been with my hubby for 14 yrs. We've been thru some difficult times...to say the least..concerning the x and kids. My hubby finally grew a set a couple of years ago....he does not put up with any of their b.s. anymore. No...it's still never easy where the x or the kids are concerned...but...they will not win!!! That is how we look at it today! You only have one life....enjoy it! The kids have been told if they would like to be a part of "OUR" lives...wonderful..your always welcome...BUT...we won't have any of the b.s. games in OUR home. We hear from them very little these days....sad situation...but..their choice. I sincerely hope things work out for you....I'm sorry. 

Name: lou | Date: Apr 15th, 2008 1:05 AM
look into the laws in your state specifically regarding unlawful visitation interference and parent alienation syndrome. 

Name: Lory | Date: Apr 15th, 2008 4:17 AM
The laws in my state don't give a rip about parent alienation laws.....nor unlawful visitation interference! As long as the custodial parent is getting their $$$....no one could give a sh*t! And....with the amount of our unlawful ~lol~ obligation....who the heck can afford to hire an attorney for this??? Even the attorneys claim....there's not much that can be done about these issues...except call the popo! Hmmm....I only call the popo when I truly need em!! 

Name: Angie | Date: Apr 24th, 2008 11:22 PM
Hate to tell you, my fiance's ex is remarried and the daughter is 18 and she still has not changed her pattern! I'm crossing my fingers for you, this is a lifelong battle. 


Name: Lory | Date: Apr 25th, 2008 4:08 AM
Not to be rude..BUT....YEAH! The pattern will not change...thanks for your info....your really not telling my anything I don't already know. Thanks! Lifelong battle...only if you let it be 1! 

Name: Lory | Date: Apr 25th, 2008 4:15 AM
To Angie----Alot of times ladies come here to vent, feel validation, & know they're not alone! Tho your response may be heartfelt...thanks....we all know...it's a long battle! But..again..thnkx for your reply. You obviously know something of the 2nd or 3rd wives syndrome.....I have my fingers crossed for us all! Have a good one! 

Name: minsane | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 2:04 AM
I'm new to this ex wife game....a life long battle?! I hope not.Im glad to know though, that this is a comon problem. How do they say" keep your friends close but your enemies even closer." Sometimes the mind games that they play needs to be played back to them...just be mindful and smart about what you say and do....don't let her get the upper hand. 

Name: wonderful165 | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 4:42 AM
Hello
i,m Masud
i think you can get better tomorrow if you are honest and faithful to each other.
can i get your picyures
Masud 

Name: wonderful165 | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 4:45 AM
i,d like to have ex_wife in the united states
Masud from Persia
can you help me 

Name: Maggie new at this | Date: Apr 29th, 2008 4:19 PM
OH my Gosh, I just met the most wonderful man who shares 50% custudy with his "(La Loca) means Crazy Ex. She is a gold digger and took him for everything during the marriage. We have been together for 3 months, so I know I'm new at this but she calls him all the time and text's him "hope you still love me" and how he's the only man that ever supported her. Told him that her boyfriend means nothing to her and wants to have coffee and breakfast with him, yet days later SENDS HIM A TEXT with her boyfriends picture telling my boyfriend how much fun she is having at a theme park WITH THE PASSES my boyfriend paid for prior to the divorce. She has showed up at his home UNVITED, and even after I have heard him tell her no do not come over she was not welcomed. Can't stand the fact that his three daughter and I get along well. And it's shame because I have one daughter who adores him. It's really very hard and before I got on this sight I really thought I was an isolated case and no one else seems to have this problem, but God help us all. The same story, the Crazy Ex really doesn't care about the Ex (our current significant other) they just want t continue to be supported by them, they wan the attention, negative or positive and won't quit at anything nor do they have any morals about what they do. This women even had the NERVE to text him obseen messages at 1:30 am about what we may be doing and including herself in the picture. She makes me sick and I feel that my current boyfriend isn't stern enough with her and hoping he will get really sick of her not allowing us to have the relationship that both of us deserve. We both are very level headed and have a great deal of comonalities. Our children are great girls and deserve a normal change at life. But his ex- is also very manipulativ and gets as much information out of their girls as she can and sends them to ask questions about me an my business to give it to the EX. Part of me knows this man is worth holding out for in hopes she will find someone and leave my boyfriend to has his life, because we are not at all at the marriage stage but we both feel that we are a long term relationship and want a good future for us both AND our children combinded. But this wak!! job needs a life of her own and needs to find her stability from another man. I'm going to give it more time and see how much strong my boyfriend can put his foot down. They have arrangements where either she comes to his house or he goes to her house to do the pick up with the kids. I've told him this is not healthy because these are times she will stall or NOT leave his home just to be close to him and play house and manipulates the girls into thinking they are still together, and he just tries to keep the peace which feeds into her insanity. I can't imagine having to deal with this forever, but I also refuse to let this CRAZY B&*@#$(( win and dictate my happiness or life. We will see what happens and do wish all the rest of you dealing with this insane, crazy, congtrol freaks all the luck in the world. 

Name: sad step mom | Date: May 2nd, 2008 1:50 PM
We have the same problem only our kids are older and the crazy ex tells her kids to call and ask for money all the time. They lied one time about needing money to pay the mortgage, they were way behind. We loaned them around 2500.00. Later on the grandkids told us they had a great time at
Disney World! I called and asked the mother and all she said was oh Well! I was furiuos. 

Name: trina_v | Date: May 5th, 2008 8:06 PM
I've dealt with the "crazy ex" for 16 years. Not all of it has been BAD, but none of it has been GREAT. The last 11 months have been horrid, though! My husband's older daughter, who has been a part of my life since she was 10, recently had the first grandchild. Oh. My. Goodness! You would think that I have been trying to take full and complete credit for everything in the daughter's life, from birth on! Granted, I did snap at one point, but I apologized and moved on. Unfortunately, the ex did not. She is 50 years old, 9 years old than I am, but she is acting like a drama queen. She makes snide comments without ever calling my name, but to anyone who is remotely aware of the situation it is perfectly clear that she's talking about me. Most recently, she has taken to ridiculing the way I dress, do my make-up, and style my hair! How juvenile is that? The thing that really gets to me the most is the way that I am the one who is made out to be the bad guy. My husband refuses to confront his ex because he knows how she is. However, I feel left out in the cold because she says and does whatever and no one "supports" me openly. (If my stepdaughters do, they are given the silent treatment.) I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I'm the one acting like the adult here. 

Name: kimnyc | Date: May 6th, 2008 7:49 PM
Someone help ! I have been with my BF for 3 years. We have a good relationship together. He is kind and caring and we have alot in common and enjoy being with each other. We only fight about the time he spends catering to his ex. He has a wonderful 12 yr old daughter that I care about very much...and she cares for me. I am divorced as well with no children and no desire to have any at this time. As I write this I feel sick to my stomach. I have no say in my happiness anymore. My BF's ex-wife has all the control. And as much as I want to blame her, I can't., because truly I feel it is all his fault. Every other weekend when we have his daughter, his ex-wife never calls to speak to her daughter. If we have her for a longer period of time, say over a school holiday she still won't call to check in. His daughter has a cell phone of her own so it's not that the ex is afraid I am going to answer. The ex and I never speak to each other which is weird. She doesn't care if I pick her kid up from school, or the house or if I do something with her daughter, but all the planning goes thru my BF. The ex never has to talk to me or see me in person and I think my BF prefers it this way. Even though the ex doesn't call to check on her own kid...she does manage to call my BF everyday during the week on his cell while at work ... and also on the weekends when we don't have his daughter. She calls to advise him that she can't stand that kid and that he should just take her and enroll her in school by us. She calls because the kid needs a $1.00 piece of oaktag for a school project. She also calls because of the dog (a gift to his daughter for her recent birthday- that the mom agreed to help take care of) stating that the dog is coughing or scratching or that he dog pooped or peed etc.... or that she ran out of the dog food and now what is she going to do ? He takes all these calls and he listens and listens and listens to all of her BS. Why i am so upset... is because he always runs to the rescue. They live in the next state and he has gone out of his way to deliver that oaktag and to deliver the damn dog food that she could have easily walked to the store to get. He hides behind the saying "I am doing it for my daughter", but how can that be ? He pays child support and anything that his daughter needs he provides....but why does he cater to the ex so much. The dog has been there for 6 weeks now and she has never once paid for anything...no food, no toys, no vet bills, He is paying for it all and that was not the agreement. My heart aches because all I want to do is scream "It's so unfair". Why do I have to put up with this nonsense. I cringe when the phone rings and it's her. To add insult to injury, when it was the actual date of his daughter's birthday he drove over there and had dinner and cake with his kid and the ex.... and why wasn't I a part of this ? i guess because she doesn't have a man.... so he steps in and plays the part. I just feel like I am being played a fool... and I would just like some advice from you ladies...even if it is harsh. 

Name: joy2 | Date: May 8th, 2008 4:56 PM
Dear Kim...lord girl i know the feeling....his ex would call everyday on his cell at work even though he's a good dad and called the little one every night...I blame him too...there comes a time when enough is enough. Put your foot down...first off the BS of going over there without you, he is wrong about that and you need to think long and hard about it. Would you do that to him, why weren't you invited? 3 years is a long time to not be acknowledged. I prefer to kill the ex with kindness although it's a bitter pill to swallow. Last week i finally had enough of the phone calls and my fiancee told her that enough was enough. She calls for ignorant reasons and he would ask her at night when he speaks to his daughter if there is anything to talk about. Well its been a week and he said she called yesterday about a doctor bill. I;m wondering if here we go again. She got terribly huffy when he told her to stop the calls cause it causes problems. The one thing I wish she didn't know cause then i feel like she will play with my emotions now. Lord girl it's hard and sometimes i feel like its not worth it, but i truly love him and i know he loves me. I just wish we could muzzle her and then it's all good. You need to step up to him and let him know the games are gonna stop or maybe you need to rethink the whole relationship. There is no reason for you not to be acknowledged. Its hard to be a step mom and you deserve credit for being there. Good luck hon...maybe both our situations will get better. 

Name: Erin | Date: May 11th, 2008 8:28 PM
Sunnee~ Hang in there! My husband and I were both married for 12 years to other people. Like you, my ex and I get along fine and we try not to ever involve our 2 young children in our issues. I filed for divorce, he wasn't thrilled about it, but he has moved on, and he accepts that I have also. My current husband and I met through our children who were friends at school. We became inseparable, got married a year later and I can truly say we are best friends as well as as husband and wife. Starting out, our kids (like I said) were great friends. They were thrilled that we were dating and then getting married because they were excited to be "brothers" with each other. He has 2 boys from his 1st marriage also. Everyone got along fabulously. His kids and I bonded well, and my kids really loved him too.

However, HIS ex wife became a major problem immediately upon finding out he was even dating me. She literally went into a blind rage. She was already engaged to and living with a new guy, but she still couldn't deal with the fact of her ex being with someone I suppose. He had told me initially that part of the problems in their 12 year marriage was that he believed she was bi-polar, and that she had issues with needing drama in her life. He said she would pick fights with him, then throw herself to her knees bawling her eyes out making sure their children were present. Of course, they would run to her side and hug her because it upset and scared them. She would then say things like, "Well, at least I have my boys who love me." He said she played on the kids "guilt" a lot during their marriage to get attention. I have to believe that he wasn't kidding about her issues, because while she never called me to harass me more than one time, she did file false police reports against me claiming that "I was harassing her!" She told the police that I had called her non-stop making threats, and that I had gone by her home and made threats. She could not prove anything of course, and she would not submit her phone records to show that I had not called her at all. She did other bizzarre things like going to the elementary school where our children attended and told the counselors, the teachers and Principal that I had stolen her husband away and he wanted a divorce. She claimed that I was embarassing the children by showing up to pick up my sons after school with her ex husband, kissing him on the school grounds, and cussing at her in front of her children. These things of course were utterly ridiculous lies. This went on and on for months. She even went so far as to have her attorney send me a letter stating that she was filing a restraining order against me to keep me away from her. Apparently, you don't have to have any proof that someone is bothering you to get a civil restraining order?... So, eventually I had to hire an attorney to defend myself and to get her to back off.

My husband and I have been married now for three years, and his ex has cooled for the most part. She is remarried now also, and has 2 children with her new hubby. But, she continues to work mentally and emotionally on my step sons telling them negative things about me and about their father. I just have never met anyone like her, and hope I never do again. She does the same thing with sports and extra activities for their children, over scheduling them to make it difficult for us to get any time with them. But, my husband tells his kids straight up, that he loves them dearly, but we cannot possibly make every single practice or game or extra-curricular activitity their mother schedules for them. I have my 2 boys, and my husband and I have a baby together now also. So, we have a busy household and life. We do what we can, but we DO NOT work around HER. We work around US, and we let the kids know what is going on and what they can expect from us...etc. It's been very hard at times, to the point where I wanted to just "Bail" and head for the hills. But, I adore my husband and I'm here to stay. His ex would love nothing more than to see us break up, but it's not going to happen. I won't give her the satisfaction, and lucky me...he's a wonderful guy who is the best to me and all our kids.

Stick to your guns, stay neutral as best as you can, love the kids up, but...make sure you make time for the 2 of you!! When the kids are all grown...it will just be the two of you. So, nurture your relationship now. You sound like a really great blended family, married or not.

Good Luck! 

Name: exwife hater | Date: May 13th, 2008 1:40 AM
I'm in a similar situation as you. I have been with my husband for 6 years. His daughter is 9 and was 3 when I came into the picture. Her mother was not in the picture when we started dated and the longer I was around her mother began to come around more and more. She has created problems with my husband and I for 6 years and it's very drainning. We fight about stuff all the time. She lives 10 minutes from us and is constantly in our business and lives. The ex is very ill and is on HEAVY prescription drugs and has OD'd in the presence of the child. She had to call 911 for her mother. Child services is now envolved because of it. A few days ago, she showed up to her daughters softball game completly trashed on pills and was falling in and out of consiousness through out the entire game. My husbands daughter lives with her now and has for the past year, his daughter wanted to go there and she wanted her there too. 2 months after she went there she filed for Child Support. We went to court of the OD episode and tried to get her back and the judge said it wasn't an ER because she's 9 and able to call 911 if it happens again. The court system has failed us miserably. I don't know what to do to stop the madness of this woman in my daily life. It's really affecting my marriage and I'm not sure that I can deal with this much longer. We have also been trying to have a baby of our own for the past 3 years with NO success. That is very hard as well. I feel like i'm on the outside of THEIR family. Like I don't belong. I could go on and on about things with the ex....but this is long enough for now. Just know that your not alone and that hopefully things will get better. 

Name: Babyface | Date: May 13th, 2008 8:30 AM
Hi,

I have only been with my current boyfriend for just over a year but we are deeply in love and as happy as I can imagine. He has two lovely children (i have non and have no ex husband). He also has an ex wife from hell! :-(
She has her own partner that she has been for quite some time now. The thing is she just cannot seem to be nice EVER! She dosn't know me and she has no intention of getting to know me. All she can say are nasty things. She makes life hell for him with the kids.
I just want us to be happy and for her to move on. Part of me thinks she still holds feelings for him.
Everybody that I speak to tells me that she is a gold digger and that she manages to fall out with everyone. The thing is i'm not like that, I like to get on with everyone and just be happy. Any advise would be greatly appreciated as i have never been in this situation before and it is making me really unhappy. 

Name: Mave | Date: May 14th, 2008 10:06 AM
Hi Babyface

I don't know if I'm breaking the terms and conditions of using this site or not, BUT....

there is a yahoo group called

[email protected]

for specifically the resaon you have posted.

We are all in similar positions, in a relationship with a man with a child/children and sometimes don't know what the hell to do!!!
There is some very helpful advice and insight. I have found it very helpful - even if you just need to vent, instead of going completely mad!!
Hang in there. 

Name: 2nd wife and a counselor | Date: May 15th, 2008 3:54 PM
It is refreshing to connect with others and find similarity in our lives. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Things are much better now, but we still have to deal with a very miserable, selfish, vendictive ex-wife. I have the same kind of story - great relationship with my 2 step-children, controlling ex-wife trying to make her kids hate me and throwing a wrench in whatever plans we make.

It took a year and a half for my husband to realize that it was hurting all of us more when he would give in to her. We had many talks about him needing to do what was best for us as a family (we have 2 more children) instead of trying to cause fewer waves with the ex. In his mind, the happier he could make her, the easier it would be on my step kids. Once he started standing up to her, the kids began spending more time in our home (which is a more stable environment for them.) She still played her games, trying to keep them away from us - and more particularly from me since I'm the other mother, but with the added stability the kids have really blossomed. They used to be scared of everything, very quiet/shy, and had difficulty expressing themselves. Now they are more confident, they play together better, and more with their younger siblings as well. I believe it's from having a stable family/home environment, even if it is only ever other weekend.

We also decided to get some legal help. Even though the kids were happy with us, they still had to go home at the end of the weekend and get grilled about every move and every word spoken in our home. Then spend 2 weeks there without structure and being dragged from one activity to the next (her activities, not theirs). We tried for custody knowing it was unlikely. We're still in proceedings, and it's been more than a year. My step kids have a guardian ad litem now which has made their mom clean up her act a little. She just went through another divorce, so that makes things a little better for the kids as well - one less person for her to fight with around them. We still feel like custody isn't likely, but we've been told by their GAL that increased visitation will happen for sure.

I really worry about their long-term well being. Because they live with their mom, I'm afraid they'll look more to her as an example of how to handle relationships, etc. But we keep loving them and hoping that they'll realize that relationships, and particularly marriage can be a wonderful thing.

My advice to anyone looking at a second marriage is to be sure you and your partner are committed to making it work. Great communication is a must! All marriages are going to have a rough adjustment period at the start, but second marriages are even more difficult because of the "ex" factor. Being "family" minded is also important. There is no room for looking out for your own interests or even for someone else's best interest, it's all about what's best for the family as a whole.

Good Luck! 

Name: kimnyc | Date: May 16th, 2008 1:40 PM
Dear Joy 2,

Thank you for responding to me. I appreciate it so much, it means so much to have another person who understands the situation I am in. Things are not going well for me and my BF and I believe we are in the process of breaking up. I cannot deal with him constantly catering to his ex-wife. I feel like I am going insane and I am becoming more and more insecure which is just not me. I know my BF loves me, but I don't feel like I am considered an equal partner, or that he really values how hard this is for me. I try my best to go with the flow and live in the moment, but I just have that lingering feeling that she is always with us... Basically, I don't think that he and I will ever really become our own family, and as hard as it is to walk away from him and his daughter, I don't know that I can continue going on this way, knowing that I will always be considered and outsider.
It's so hard to write this, to put my thoughts into sentences, but I hope that by getting this out here, it will help me move on. I wish there was something I could do, fight for it more, but I feel I am doing it all alone, I don't tink he is really in this with me the way I am with him. I am so sad right now, it hurts. 

Name: Trying2cope | Date: May 16th, 2008 10:17 PM
Erin-

Thanks for your comments about running your home and family around YOURSELVES and not the psycho X. We are kind of in that phase now. Just yesterday, we had to sit the kids down and remind them that what happens here, stays here. We have a drug free, no potty mouth home that anybody's grandma would be proud of, but the X always looks for ways to make us seem like the dysfunctional family when she's the one who allows them to listen to inappropriate music, watch movies that are too mature for them, has the kids out all hours of the night, etc. To make a long story, short, thanks for your entry; it's encouraging. 

Name: Heidi | Date: May 17th, 2008 12:10 AM
Well, I am in the same boat. It is hard. It was to the point that my husband(boyfriend at the time) would be yelling every time he was on the phone with her because she would not let him say a word and she would wonder why he wouldnt call. So, I told him no, it wasn't fair for it to be this way they had a parenting plan and he was to have basically joint custody. It hurt me so bad knowing that his daughter was on the other side right there in the same room and all her mom wanted to do was to yell at him, making him the bad guy. So I told my husband she had to talk to me and only me, then if anyone was mad at anyone they would be mad at me. He pays child support and he is her dad and has rights so I threw it in her face everytime. At first she hated it, she told me that she needed to talk to HER ex husband and I told her no, everything was going through me because she didn't feel the need to respect what he said ever. I went by the parenting plan and she got mad because if there was something that she wanted while it was our weekend I said no, she soon realized that it wasn't fair either way and now she respects me most of the time and we talk and take care of things. She still makes Serah feel like she shouldnt want to come see dad and call him and stuff but on our end we have been taking her to see someone to talk about it. She ticks me off alot because she tries hard to ruin things that we are going to do. We went out and started looking at horses, her mom got 2 horses the weekend after we had gone and rode some and decided to keep looking. We had called to see if we could get her early to take the kids to the zoo and her mom took her out of school the day before and took her to the zoo. She has done this with a lot of things. I have talked to my pastor about this all because it used to make me sick and keep me up at night. He told me just to be as good as a mother that I am to my other children and don't back off the kids need all the love in the world. He thought that that could be a big problem because she thinks that I am going to take that spot as her mother or she is regretting that she chose to walk out of the relationship and all the stuff she is doing is going to drive me away. He told me it could always be worse and as much as she wants to hear that our weekend did not go like we wanted because she had already done the stuff not to let her know that it irritated us at all. We have talked with Serah and pastor about it and how our time is special and it wont ever be the same as mom's. I think that is one of the best things that I could have done is talk to him. I use to not like reading the good book (Bible) and going to church, but for some reason I went back to my old church and asked for help with this one. Just remember to be the best mother you can be to the kids no matter what and if you are doing a good job it shouldnt matter what the hell she is doing or how she is acting. 

Name: Tmcwhirt | Date: May 22nd, 2008 6:00 PM
Kimnyc.....same situation here..although he is a stepfather to the ex's daughter. This has been an eye opener reading all these posts. i know how bad you hurt right now. These women amaze me. My bf and I will be so happy...then he floats off into space or does not call as regularly and I always know.....she has contacted him. He always ends up telling me all. I have seen the emails...she talks about how much she misses being home and how great they could have been together ...then she tells him how much his "daughter" misses him ....she really plays the pity party and messes with his head. She has also pulled the "I can't believe you went out and replaced us"...crap (I have a baby boy). Then she will turn right around after those games and send him a message tellin ghim what a piece of crap he is and how he ruined her life and why she will never take him back. Let me follow up by telling you that SHE filed for divorce after HE accused/caught her cheating. She then moved 800 miles away - near her "friends" family....What is her deal? they are no longer tied to each other and they are 800 miles apart?!!! Seeing someone that I love being emotionally beaten to death is starting to piss me off. I was feeling sorry for him...now I am just getting mad. The thing is that ALL of these men and husbands referred to on this page, could stop alot of this behavior from their ex's - but none of them are doing it. I know it has to be alot more complicated when there are biological children involved....but in my current case...there are not. The ex has already told him that the step daughter WILL NOT be coming to visit. Why can these ex husbands not STAND UP to the ex's and tell them to go away.....TELL THEM that they are not to communicate in any way unless it has something factually involved with the children...when they get crazy...hang up! I know these ex's are nuts...but these MEN do not appear to be doing their part either. Mine may just find himself to be single very soon...and he can feel free to email with his 800 mile away ex ALL he wants. Take care KIM....my heart is breaking with you. 

Name: momangel | Date: May 23rd, 2008 2:09 AM
Yes, thanks everyone here ! You'v changed my life a lot. I think I should share some good things with you all . I just found a very interesting dating site called www.singleparentloving.com which you can do a lot of thing there. Such as instant chat , blog, and searching the one you like in you area etc. It's really interesting. 

Name: lulabelle | Date: Jun 5th, 2008 8:11 PM
Id just like to say I am the ex wife however my husband was abusive toward me and the situation is the other way around. He is the one who fills them with nastiness every weekend and send them home disruptive and fighting. I let him have 3 weekends a month and yet Im still accused of taking the kids from him and he insists on phoning every day which takes them back to their disruptive weekend attitude! We arent all nasty, Id pay to have someone take my ex on so maybe he would stop obsessing over me and the kids and get on with his life! xx 

Name: Nikki | Date: Jun 12th, 2008 4:22 PM
I hear you loud and clear! I am in a relationship where me and my fiance have young children also. My ex and i have a healthy friendship and he gets along with my fiance and my kids get along with him too. My fiance's ex girlfriend will not allow her kids to be around me she talks horribly about me and does not even know me. He see's his kids once a week for a couple of hours and has to entertain them in public because he has no where to take them. She constantly makes threats to move or take his kids where he will never see them again. It has been a year and two months that we have lived together some things have improved with that woman. Alls i can do is hope that more time will help her get over it. 

Name: Curlz | Date: Jun 20th, 2008 10:08 AM
Wow makes me sad to be a female. If only women were above behaving this way. My partners ex was a nightmare, constant calls, telling us not to let my stepdaughter go to freinds houses, that the ex had prev allowed her to go, nuisance phone calls then hanging up, calling us while drunk and abusing my partner, turning up at our house running in and screaming that my partner was a bad father, telling his daughter when he called that he was a basterd and did not love her. Moving house and not letting him know where his daughter was living, threatening to never let him see his daughter ever again, physically threatening me infront of her daughter, changing daughters mobile number so we couldnt speak to her. Eventually I put my foot down and told my partner he had to put a stop to it, or I was leaving. A restraining order was put in place last year that prevents her from abusing my partner or coming near me. All contact btween my partner and the ex is thru a diary my stepdaughter carries between houses. This prevents the ex's abuse as she will not put it down in black and white. A parental order was put in place thru a mediation centre that covers everything esspecially time at our house, we are currently seeking to make the parental order into a consent order, a fully legall document. 

Name: Veronique | Date: Jul 1st, 2008 1:58 PM
Oh I am so glad to see I am not alone. Me and my husband have been together over 5 years and got married this year. He has two kids from his previous relationship from which he separated (they were not married) more than 6 years ago. Despite it was his ex who has driven the separation, she still cannot let go. We have experienced and continue to experience all sorts of situations, embarrassments, hysterical behaviors, threats and more ... you all have described. However, what was the biggest surprise to me and my husband was the fact that she did not seem to believe that our relationship is real, which we discovered after our marriage. This is to say, she did not believe that we were getting married too, despite my husband told her and everybody including his kids knew (FYI: we were getting married on holiday in Caribbean). After she found out our marriage really took place, her first abusive comment was that he makes her sick getting married to just anyone as she is the only women he has ever loved..... + much more. We were shocked and sad to see how far away his ex is living from the reality.

First months after our marriage she withdraw and refused to see my husband in person - on one hand we enjoyed it, on the other hand my husband was partially sad as he cares for her as a friend which she doesn't have many. Well having said that, the newest of our marriage wear off and now she is back to old herself bugging us and causing problems.

I honestly would wish to understand why does women behave like this. Don't they release it and aren't they ashamed of such behaviors?

Any thoughts on it? 

Name: newby | Date: Jul 1st, 2008 11:43 PM
Sunnee I am a different situation, kind of. I am dating a wonderful man, I'm 48 and he is 53, and I now have to deal with his ex-wife. In the two years I have know him, this is the first I am faced with this problem. Why do they have to make our lives so difficult? She is remarried and still tells him she loves him. Hmm I wonder if the new husband knows this? I'm afraid to approach her on this issue thinking it will bring her and my boyfriend closer. They are very civil to each other because they have kids together and thats fine, it's better than them fighting, but let him go so he can find happiness in his life. You're right! What you're going through is total nonsense. Like you, I have a good relationship with his kids, the ones I have met. They are older (in their late 20's and early 30's). He also has some grandkids that I just adore. Why can't these vindictive women see that someone is being good to their kids and grandkids and leave it at that? Sorry Sunnee I'm a little long winded too but I guess some ex-wives need to learn some lessons. Good luck to you and keep posted how things are developing. 

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