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Name: SZANOW221
[ Original Post ]
I am very worried for my boyfriend. His soon to be exwife is trying to destroy our relationship. We have been dating now for almost two years and she still is not over him. She is now using his kids against him by not letting him see them as much as he use too and fills there head with horrible things about our relationship. She tells them that there dad has a new family now and does not have time for them. She never use to talk to his family the whole twenty two years they were married and now they are all best friends. I try to love and care for his kids as if they were my own and never let them talk bad about there mother. I am trying to be the better person but it is getting to be very hard. She calls him for stupied things that have nothing to do with the children and trys to make small talk with him so he gets all worked up so she feels like he is still a part of her life. I want our relationship to work out but i am not sure how to deal with her and still be the better person. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!
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Name: jade | Date: Apr 27th, 2007 10:38 PM
i know how you feel. mine is worse. just think if you two were married, and had children together. the ex-wife in my case does the same exact things. she won't even talk to me about their son, and i'm the one that takes care of him when my husband is at work. she's real mean to the both of us. just take my advice. if she's anything like my husband's ex-wife, and it sounds like she is, it does'nt matter how nice you try to be to her, she may go along with it for a little while, but then BAM, she stabs you in the back again. i don't know why people can't just get along for the childs sake. good luck. 

Name: SZANOW221 | Date: May 14th, 2007 12:53 PM
Thank you so much for your reply. It is really nice to know that there are other people out there that have to deal with the same things. Things are getting so hard I am just not sure how much more I can take. I have now paid our rent three months in a row and never get a thank you or i appricate your help. Then when she calls and needs something he is over there fixing what she needs fixed and if she needs her car worked on he pays for that too. I guess I just don't understand he tells me that he does it because of there kids but when is enough already. He pays her morgage payment and her cell phone and home phone and internet bill what else could she want. I am so upset because we never have any money and she goes out to dinner and buy all new things. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I just feel like when she say jump he says how high because he doesn't want his kids to suffer which I understand in a way but in another way when is it her turn to take some responsiblity. 

Name: Tammy | Date: Jun 19th, 2007 4:25 AM
Listen you were not put on this earth to please her. I would not go out of your way at all for her. If you don't have to talk to her then don't. She is not worth your time or energy. Her negativity is taking your focus away from whats important and that is you, your boyfriend and the kids. This is your life and we are only given one so do not let her do this to you anymore. I am talking from experience. Be strong and confident in your decisions. She is controlling you both right now because you guys are feeling bad and letting her. Well I found out real fast that it does not matter how nice you are or how good you are with the kids. It all boils down to her being jealous of you being with her ex and that the kids like you. See you would think that an ex would be happy that the kids are well taken care of by you. She is so full of jealousy and anger that none of that matters. It sounds like she totally gets pleasure and will continue to out of making your lives miserable. DON'T LET HER! When she calls only let him answer the phone. If he is not there let her leave a message. Tell him to tell her that she is to only call when it is regarding the kids and nothing else and if she tries to continue to make small talk he should tell her he is hanging up and then do it. You guys are not responsible for taking her inventory and making her life easier. Your only attachment to this whole situation is the children. Good Luck and be strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Name: pattyl | Date: Jun 19th, 2007 12:17 PM
The STBXW is not destroying the relationship the BF is. He is using you to support him while he gives all of his money away. You are enabling him to do this by paying all the bills. 

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