Hello, guest
Name: Reed
[ Original Post ]
You may have read one pf my replies and kind of know my situation, but I will repeat. I am a divroced Mom with 2 boys, 12 and 8. My ex and I share joint custody (1 week here and 1 week there) I still get along great with my ex, but his wife seriously hates me. Im remarried with a 7 year old step-daughter and I have a 3 yr old daughter with my husband now. My ex can't have any more children and she never had any, so they are trying to adopt. Anyhow, ny ex still has a lot of feelings for me, which he obviously doesn't tell her but I think she senses. I've tried calling her and talking with her to say Hey we need to try to get along. Especially in our situation. She's the mother to my boys half the time. Not important for us to communicate????? How does she rationalize that? I know shes the primary care giver to them when they are there and I am not threathened by that at all. Anyhow, onto the main problem. Her hatred for me has always been a bit ridiculous. I've always just kinda sat back and laughed at the things she gets mad over. When we are at the ballfield, she gets mad if I but my son a drink if its their week and this past Saturday she got mad b/c it was my week and her father bought him a drink. She could not believe that I was soooo irresponsible. She did not even know what had happened. I had went to the concession stand to buy him a drink and her father was in line next to me and I heard him order a Gatorade and I knew it was for my son, so I just let it go. After the game, I got verbally attacked by her mother and her. OVER A DRINK!!!! Well, there have been several other similar incidents, but now I'm hearing that she is spreading rumors that they have had to call DHS on me and that I'm doing drugs and drinking and that my kids are living in filthb when they are with me. This is pushing it way too far and I don't know what to do. I wnat to get my kids away from her b/c she is so obviously not all there. But we have had this arrangement for so long that I dont know if I could get it changed just b/c of her hatred for me. I am so frustrated!!!
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Name: Lory | Date: May 15th, 2007 7:52 PM
Hello Reed!
I am at the other end of the spectrum....but can and do understand your frustrations. All I can say is, it is so sad that x's, or step-parents involved in the children's lives cannot put their differences of opinions aside for them! Your absolutely right...communication with a person or step-parent who will be caring for your child/children is a must. I wouldn't want to send my child to a person who I didn't know or trust, or could not communicate with, or to someone who acted so silly! But, IMHO...that would be a perfect world, which we all know it's not. I'm sorry for your frustrations. And, again your probably right....it would be kinda hard to get a visitation order changed in this case, unless you can prove she is lying and off her rocker! The family court system IMO...stinks! Although it does sound like the order does need to change...(less time for her to be around them) Good Luck to you, and I hope things lighten up soon for you. 

Name: Serina S | Date: May 15th, 2007 9:15 PM
Go to a lawyer an initial consolation are usually free..tellthem what is going on maybe they could make suggestions.
Also MAybe you caould right her a kind letter and let her know you apprecATE ALL SHE DOES FOR THE KIDS AND (opps) what you would like see happen let her know how glad your x is with her .Tell her how important it is for you all to get along for the kids and you would love to meet with her and the x to go over each persons expectations. Make sure you keep a copy !!!
I would actually give her the copy and you keep the original.
I know it sound like you ae beding over backwards for her but it is actually for the kids & maybe it will work.
She may also sence the feelings he has to you .. that alone could casue a ton of resentment & the fact thatyou were able to have kids with your x and she can not.. I bet this is hard for her to deal with..Yep sound like she is taking it out on you .Sounds like she wants to controll every thing cause she can not control anything in her life???

Give the letter an shot and do call a lawyer.
Best of luck!!! 

Name: Lizzi | Date: May 16th, 2007 4:19 PM
How does she treat your kids? And what do they think of HER? I would find those things out first and go from there. If she is good to your kids and they like her then I would probably just bite my tongue and try to ignore things she says and does. However if she isn't treating your kids well and they don't care for her either.,then I'd say all gloves are off and i'd put that damn woman in her place FAST!!!!!
Or better yet,I'd talk to your ex and say "hey listen,you either talk to her yourself and get her to KNOCK IT OFF,or else there is going to HAVE TO BE a change in custody/visitation!"
I think she is just one of those women who is extremely jealous of ex's,(you) and therefore can do nothing but hate. I'm worried though that with as much as she dislikes you,how is she REALLY treating your kids? I'd be asking THEM,(the kids).
Your ex may have to choose between a life with his kids and a marriage to her!!!! 

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