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Name: BILL
[ Original Post ]
I have been divorced from my first wife for 7 years, my son is now 13. I left my first wife due to the constant arguing and I could never say anything were I wasn't told I was wrong. I have very very guilty feelings for leaving my son even though I had called and saw him from day one. My ex wife tries to lay guilt trips on me saying you dont take him enough and you missed out on him growing up. I only live around the corner and I see him on wed and thurs one week and fri sat sun the other week and somtimes in between. I don't know how to get rid of the guilty feelings my son is doing great in private school he made the honor roll, so how can I get this anxiety off of me.
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Name: Alicia | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 1:03 AM
I believe the only thing that is important is how your son feels about what kind of father you are. In divorce and seperation its usually about who's the better parent. Sounds like this is the case, with your ex anyway.I would be very concerned about what your son is hearing about you if anything at all. Kids are very sensative regarding what one parent says about the other. Its best to refrain from it all together, for yourself and your son, not to mention your sanity and piece of mind. I know it can take over your life. Im pretty experienced in it. Once you are divorced, you have your own lives and it sounds as if you should do as much as possible to keep it that way,It doesnt sound very safe or productive to have extended conversations with your ex. You dont have to be friends, you just have to be civil. Does your ex really have that much time on the phone or in person to make so many accusations? Why give her the time? As long as you know your are being the best dad you can, its really not worth the time or anxiety of worrying what your ex wife thinks. 7 years is a long time, Its probably to the point now were either of you should feel uncomfortable to talk to each other in that manner since you've both moved on. 

Name: BILL | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 1:52 PM
ALICIA,
Thanks for responding it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.My ex-wife has changed dramatically and she is the type who alway's thinks she's wright and everyone else is wrong. She is re-married to a guy who just got out of prison after 20 yrs for armed robbery and drugs,this is someone she knew from childhood ,so I am very concerned on what's going on over there. When I pick my son up I see beer bottles and cigarette in a pot by the stoop. My son say's theres alchohol in the house there never was when i was there. My wife now has harsh feelings towards my son because he has been nasty in the past this is destroying the marriage. Basically I looking for happiness and I hope god can forgive me for my adulrty and leaving 7 yrs ago I just couldn't take it any more. 

Name: dan | Date: Mar 17th, 2006 9:03 PM
add my and ill talk to u on msn my msn adress is [email protected] 

Name: jif | Date: Mar 24th, 2006 3:58 PM
jan 

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