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Name: Confused
[ Original Post ]
I recently started seeing a man who has been divorced 1/1/2 years with two daughters ages 13 and 7 the seven year old is out of control and rude talks back and says some horrible things to me and about me she gets mad when her father is near me and i cant stand to be around her when she has one of her rages i understand she is having a hard time dealing with the divorce i have two kids of my own and they would never be able to talk to me like she does to everyone around her the other night my boyfriend was yelling at me because he says i hate his daughter i said i don't hate her i cant understand why you let her get this bad for so long and did nothing about it you are the parent not her. This is all starting to effect our relationship i am doing the best i can
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Name: Shelia | Date: Aug 30th, 2005 1:02 PM
I am sorry that you are having a terrible time with his 7 yr old. I completely inderstand how you are feeling in something similar but only it is with the 10 yr old boy. Just stick to your guns and pray a lot. My 10 yr old step son, has threaten me with a swiss army knife and everyone is shrugging it off, I am not on the other hand. He will scream on end if he doesn't get his way. 

Name: confused | Date: Aug 30th, 2005 2:22 PM
Thanks so much for letting me know i am not loosing my mind i don't understand parents letting their kids be so disrespectful and then the parents takes it out on you because he says she is only 7 this i understand but i know fully that she knows what she is doing and he will not bring her wrong behavior to her attention when she will react this way to me 

Name: shelia | Date: Sep 2nd, 2005 12:20 PM
have you read my post? Nanny 911 help!!?
tell me what you think if you have read it
Thanks. 

Name: Confused | Date: Sep 2nd, 2005 12:55 PM
I just read it its so very hard being the other half of a family especially when that child refuses to cooperate it starts to ruin relationships i told this man i am seeing that he had an ultimatum to either get his child under control or i would have to consider leaving i have to kids myself and they would never ever be this way i know i am the adult 

Name: texas chic | Date: Sep 9th, 2005 3:17 PM
sorry to hear, but hope all gets better, time will help and you need to be strong for all of you...my husband told me about one of his half brothers who would make threatening statements to his mother (like he would kill her or make her go away), it took a year and he stopped...now some 30 + yrs later they adore her and have asked for her forgiveness over the years... chin up! 

Name: Tina | Date: Oct 6th, 2005 10:28 PM
If u cant get along with his children then usually the relationship dosen't work. The girl probably thinks that you may be taken her moms place or something. 


Name: Taylor | Date: Oct 25th, 2005 2:37 AM
hi 

Name: Amber | Date: Nov 12th, 2005 6:46 PM
My 6 year old son is out of control, I'm trying to give him alot of love and support, but he keeps getting all mad at every one if he doesn't get his way. I'm staying with a friend right now, and my son has been so disrespectful, at times he brings me to my ends I wish I could just send him to his father who lives in Europe. We are staying in such a happy enviroment, and he keeps pulling us down. He won't even listen when I try to tallk to him, and I don't know how else to discipline , I don't want to spank, or scream and yell the way he does, What can I do? 

Name: tb | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 1:48 PM
I think you guys need to sit down and discuss her behavier issues. If he keeps letting her act that way he's gonna have a hard time when she gets older. The more your kids see it the more they're gonna think they can talk to you that way or act that way. Just hold your head up high and hopefully she'll overcome this. Good Luck 

Name: Leave | Date: Jan 16th, 2006 1:58 PM
I suggest you get out of that relationship then if you HATE your stepson. Thats awful. I'm sure he gets on your nerves but to say you hate him is a little harsh dont ya think. Yah, I'd say you shouldnt be in this realtionship when you hate a 13 year old child. 

Name: Noelle | Date: Jan 21st, 2006 2:58 AM
I can understand how upset the 7 year old must be. Her father and her mother separated, and her father has chosen someone better. No matter how you try to spin it, that is the end point. The father has essentially decided he needed a relationship with a new woman. This makes the 7 year old feel as though her mother was betrayed, and since her mother wasn't good enough, that neither is she. She feels like her father just wanted an upgrade, and she is left being forced to assimilate with him and yourself. That being said, you are perfectly right in assuming that she should not treat you this way. It is more of a problem she has with her father than with you, she is just taking it out on you, because even someone as young as 7 understands that there are things you just can't say to your own parents. I would enccourage you to talk to her father, and suggest that he sit down with her and clear up any questions she has about why he and her mother split. And trust me, she will have questions. But it sounds as if she has been kept in the dark about this and just forced to go along with everything without any explanations. That would certainly make me cranky. And please remember that it wasn't her decision to divorce, it was her parents, and that her whole world has crumbled before her eyes, and she is powerless to stop it. I am sure you are doing everything you can to help her get on with her life. Just try not to take offense at what she says, she is just angry in general, not at you. Make sure she knows that it is ok to be angry and sad, but that she cannot use that as an excuse to lash out at you. Who knows, she may grow very fond of you in time. Hope this helps. 

Name: to kelly | Date: Jan 24th, 2006 6:30 PM
go to the gay posters. this isnt about being gay here. 

Name: susi | Date: Jan 24th, 2006 9:15 PM
My husband has been known to stick his fingers in his ears and leave the room when his son is disrespecting me. He doesn't want to discipline him because he doesn't want him upset while he is here. Bless him. 

Name: lauren | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 4:21 PM
i need some one to take me to the chate room plz 

Name: derek | Date: Jan 29th, 2006 11:50 PM
whats up is there any one out there that can see this 

Name: Understand | Date: Feb 4th, 2006 3:03 AM
Believe me I have been in the same exact position as you have and my husband and I have now been married for 5 years.......It does not change......actually it has gotten worse, I am just glad that they are not living with us and they rarely come around.....B/c they have made our marriage almost unbareable at times.........if you are having problems walk away.....I wish I would have!!! 

Name: Leslie | Date: Feb 4th, 2006 10:31 PM
hi 

Name: Agnes | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 2:08 AM
I hate to tell you this, but this relationship won't work. The kids come with the territory and they aren't going to change or go away. Get out while you can. 

Name: lizzie | Date: Feb 18th, 2006 9:52 PM
chat with people? 

Name: paul | Date: Feb 20th, 2006 11:27 PM
i wish to meet a nice woman age 40 to 45 

Name: Me | Date: Mar 20th, 2006 1:23 AM
The chid is going through so much in her life right now, maybe you need to get some alone time with her,to get to no her on a one on one base. When you are sitting next to him do'es she sit in between you to.If so let her , get into a talk mode with her, and him.If it does not work don,t give up keep tring with her. she soon will brake,and give in and will like you. 

Name: dee | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 10:34 PM
whats up 

Name: marie | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 9:54 PM
Hi there, well after i split from an ex and met somebody else my daughter acted the same way. She would shout, scream slam doors and back chat my new partner and would not speak to me if my partner held my hand or cuddled me. It is a big change and a difficult change for children to go through, and you have to look at it from their eyes. Children need to feel safe and secure, possible a good way to get around this is for your partner to spend a little time with his children explaining that they come first in his life and that he is happy with you and loves you too. Your partner is not shouting at you, he is shouting out for help as this must be very fustrating for him too. Also maybe is could be wise for your partner to ask the childrens mother to help with the situation and say to the children that things are ok and its nice for dad to have an adult friend. One thing i must say is that it is not his fault that she is behaving this way but it can be sorted out. Try a family day out and step back and let her come to you in her own good time, Let her learn to trust you, If she says something out of order just a brief go to your room when you can learn to respect people in the house off her dad will do. it will take time but honestly, shes only testing you to see how long your going to be around for as she has already seen one break up. Anyway hope that helped and good luck ;) 

Name: roja | Date: May 6th, 2006 3:20 PM
Hi how are you ? 

Name: roja | Date: May 6th, 2006 3:27 PM
Please Donot date with that man. Please make your boyfriend go back to his family,I beg make the little girl happy. you can find another man, but the little girl canot find another Dod. 

Name: TYLER | Date: May 10th, 2006 8:05 PM
WHO UR DAUGHTER THAT 13 

Name: Young mommy | Date: May 12th, 2006 3:38 AM
I am a young mom, I had my 1st daughter when I was 18. I believe in dicipline & love. My daughter is very respectful, she says "yes mom" "thank you"...etc. I just don't understand why other parents tolerate the talking back and disrespect. Put your foot down!! Children need dicipline from the start, but alot of love too, read together, play sports together. Don't take any crap! I wish you all well. 

Name: Seroina to Confused | Date: May 12th, 2006 12:19 PM
Maybe you & your guy could sit down with her. Explain to her that you would like to ber her friend and in no way are replacing her mother. ( This should be said to both girls) Then ask her why she is so unkind to you and disrepectful? You Guy really needs to make sure she know her behavior is not exceptable. You could even aks the older girl why she thinks her sister acts that way & how does it make her feel....Just talk to them Irt really help for us.
Ya know she could be the same way with her Bio Mother. Now my step D treats me much better than she treat her mother. I think because always take to her about bad behavior and she gets punshed for it.
Hope this helps 

Name: ARM | Date: May 12th, 2006 10:52 PM
I must say, it sounds as though you need to think long and hard before moving on. I have found that it is very hard to make a blended family work. I have been trying for over 11 years now and every day is a new struggle, it is never easy and it seems as though it never changes. Unless you have two people who are willing to unite on issues it will never work. I am married and have children with my husband and I love our son. But I must say, if I had it to do over again, I would not. I got out of one marriage that was bad and straight into another with different, more agressive problems. So do yourself a favor and your children, think long and hard before moving on. If you are a Christian, do a lot of praying and asking God to direct you. Take your time and by no means marrie right away. 

Name: guest | Date: Jun 11th, 2006 3:28 AM
you say you recently started seeing him? to me that doesn't sound like it has been very long, if i were in your position, i would get out while there is still time. 

Name: Liz | Date: Sep 23rd, 2006 5:18 PM
Not that I have a degree in anything but I do have lots of life ex. This will NEVER NEVER change. Get the hell OUT!!! And find someone else. Do you realy need a loser who lets his undissiplend little monster rule your life when you spent your life rasing your kids as proper little people. Love is not enough! You are doing the best you can and it's not good enough for him. How is this Mr Right? It's up to you, Good luck 

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